Poison Envy (winter_ruins) wrote in fm_alchemist,
Poison Envy
winter_ruins
fm_alchemist

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Can Sins Get Drunk?

Requested by luke_atmey in my request a drabble post.

FANDOM: Fullmetal Alchemist
PAIRING: None.
TITLE: Can Sins Get Drunk?
WORD COUNT: 598 (Just over a drabble. Again. XP)
RATING: PG-13
SPOILERS: Based on Animeverse. Spoiler for Pride and a very vauge reference to That Person.


Envy grinned merrily as he dragged three large barrels into the room, and Pride followed with two more.
He jumped onto the table and gathered all the other homunculus closer.
“Pride here,” Envy said, gesturing to Pride, “was kind enough to manage to get us six kegs of alcohol!” Envy said, and jumped onto one. “A great beverage, this is what the military men drink!”
Sloth looked at them. “There’s only five here.”
Envy looked at her blankly. “You couldn’t expect Pride and me to bring them all the way here without testing to see if they were fit for us, could you?”
Lust sighed, and Envy continued.
“In honour of Pride’s generosity– he could’ve kept all of this for himself, you know. He does need it for being around all those idiot humen – I propose a drinking contest!”
Wrath jumped up and down. “Can I, too?”
“Of course, kid,” Envy said, smiling.
“Envy!” Lust cried. “He’s too young!”
“Well, we’re going to let Sloth, aren’t we? She’s younger than him.”
“Yeah, but–“
”Besides, Technically only Pride, Gluttony and myself are legally allowed to drink. Let Wrath have some fun, too.”
Lust glared at Envy, but by that time, Pride had returned with mugs.
“Rules are,” Envy started.
“Why do you get to say the rules?” Pride interrupted.
“Because I’m oldest and I said so. So, rules are: everyone will be on the same glass as everyone else. No starting before the next round. These mugs are big, and you mut fill them to th erim. Each round is three minutes long. If you’re not finished by then, you’re disqualified. No spilling or you start again. No making others spill. Las one standing wins. And absolutly no telling That Person about this.”
“You’re lucky she’s not here,” Lust seethed.
Envy ignored her and filled the mugs.
“Ready?” he said, grabbing his mug. The others followed suit. “Go!”
Gluttony was the first finished, followed by Wrath who was already looking dizzy and unstable on his feet.
The first one out was Wrath, who had surprisingly lasted to the third round before he passed out.
Sloth was out next, in the fourth round, because she hadn’t been able to finish on time.
In the tenth round, Gluttony had fallen hard, and Envy mused it must have been because of the speed he had been drinking.
“So, you’re still up, are you Lust?” Pride leered.
Lust ignored him and continued drinking her brew.
Envy was tempted to remind Pride that there was more than one way to get out, but it was getting harder to finish the mugs on time and couldn’t risk it.
By the time three minuets had rolled around, Envy had just barely finished his, and Prides was only half empty.
Pride cursed colourfully, before passing out beside Sloth.
“O-kay! I’m not feeling to hot right now, guys,” Envy said, wavering on his feet.
Lust leered suductivly. “You sure look it.”
“Shut up, you tramp,” Envy snapped, and Lust pouted.
“Beer me!” He slammed his mug on the table, and when no one did so, he swore and sloppily poured his own and Lust’s mugs. “I won’t be beaten. The only one who has ever beat me was Greed, and he’s not here!”
“This is round twenty, right?” he asked.
“No, it’s eighteen,” Lust corrected.
Envy mentioned how women were idiots, announced round 20, and downed his much as quickly as possible, before falling backwards onto Wrath.
“I win,” Lust proclaimed, before looking around and seeing that no one had heard her. “You all suck. I’m going to bed.”



X-posted to my personal journal, teh_envy and fm_alchemist.
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