Al: Now that the flashback is over, shouldn't we be getting back to Central?
Ed: Yeah, but there's plot stuff waiting for me there. Let's have a few episodes of amusing filler first.
Al: Hel-lo, Nurse!
Ed: Stop thief! *grope grope*
Psiren: Don't mind me, go back to what you were doing.
Ed: YOU'RE A GIRL!
Psiren: What, the catsuit, the hair, the legs and the bodice didn't tip you off?
Al: I believe your innocence, Clara!
Psiren: Um, I never claimed to be innocent, but thanks.
Ed: Y'know, Al, I keep you around to make my brilliance look good, but this is just embarassing.
Psiren: Let's have sex.
Ed: By which you mean "duel with alchemy," right?
Psiren: *sigh* The cute ones are always gay.
Pseudo!Ed and Al: We're immoral alchemists who dump toxic substances into the town water supply on forged credentials for no discernable motivations!
Pseudo!Al: But I'm loveable.
Pseudo!Ed: And I'm hot.
Pseudo!Ed and Al: So you'll forgive us, right?
Magwar: Oh lookie, a new set of immoral alchemists in town! Guess I can dump these losers and trade up.
Pseudo!Ed and Al: Hey!
Ed: I'll save your butts because my brother has bonded with your brother. But I still hate you.
Pseudo!Ed: Ah, don't be that way. Look, we saved the town from being drenched in toxic substance!
Al: By releasing it into the air. Great plan.
Magwar: Boy, gives a whole meaning to the word "redwood." Get it? Redwood? Ha ha! *dies*
Ed: These two episodes were a complete waste of time.
Al: Oh come on, brother, we got our Requisite Clue. Plus all those lemons! Not that those were intended to be symbolic of anything.
Al: I spend this episode being cute.
Ed: Well, having gotten our Requisite Clue, here we are back in Central. Time to go work off my tension by hitting on -- I mean, hitting Roy.
Roy: Ha ha. No.
Roy: Why can't my subordinates be more like dogs? You know, faithful, obedient, walk around naked except for collars...
Ed: I'm obliged to beat you now.
Roy: Oh yeah? ph33r 1337 c0mb47 41|<3mi3! *snappy snappy*
Ed: I can't let him beat me! I'm headlining role!
Roy: Oops, I forgot about that. Here, I'll give you some Plot to make up for it.
Ed: Whee, plot!
Scar: My arm is telling me to go around killing people. Wasn't there a movie like this starring Seth Green?
Ed: Avon lady calling.
Marco: Go away! I already have a vacuum cleaner!
Al: It's so cool being bulletproof.
Basque "We Hates Him Precious" Gran: Move 'em out.
Scar: Oh lookie, a State Alchemist.
Audience: WE LOVE YOU SCAR!
Ed: I've suddenly lost my taste for hamburger.
Scar: Oh lookie, a State Alchemist.
Audience: WE HATE YOU SCAR!
Ed: Crap! This guy out-cools me!
Armstrong: Interrupt! Halt, villain! I am Louis Alex Armstrong, and I am the Strongarm Alchemist! Get it? Arm-strong? Strong-arm? Get it?
Scar: Please hold still while I work out my fratridical urges on you.
Ed: Sure. Just promise me you won't kill my little brother.
Scar: I wasn't planning to kill him, but okay.
Al: My brother is being calm for a change, which means it's my turn to FREAK OUT! BROTHER! HOW COULD YOU? I swear that if you die, I'll go on a homicidal rampage just like Scar did! So there!
Ed: God, we're a mess. Totally lame. And we all know I'd rather be dead than uncool.
Al: But we're not dead. We're alive.
Ed: Yeah. We're alive.
Ed: Well, I am, anyway. You're still sort of animate-dead.
Ed: But that's okay, because I'm the important one anyway.
Al: If most of me wasn't lying in splinters across the alleyway, I'd clean your clock for that, brother.
Soldiers: Let's all make fun of the crippled kid!
Ed: I hate you all. So much.
Al: I'd stick up for you, brother, but I'm still kind of pissed at you about the deathwish thing.
Ed: This sucks. Let's go back to Rizenbul.
Directors: And just because Ed and Al aren't feeling down enough, let's make it rain and have them be kidnapped and dismembered by amoral brats!
Random veteran: And just to drive the knife in, I'll serve as your monthly reminder that your quest is ultimately futile!
Ed: I HATE YOU ALL. SO MUCH.
Winry: Dammit Ed, you've been doing dangerous things again, and put so much strain on your automail that it broke! Stop that!
Pinako: On the other hand, that's more money for us.
Winry: ...So obviously the solution is to give you cheaper, lighter automail! And just to be sure, I'll conveniently forget an important piece to it.
Ed: I get naked for you people and this is the thanks I get?
Fangirls: WET NAKED ED!
Al: Yay, we're all fixed! Time to go back to Central and have more plot and angst!
Fangirls: Sorry, we stopped paying attention at the WET NAKED ED!