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31 August 2004 @ 06:11 pm
First Fic Request Response!  

I'm still taking requests if you'd like something. Anyhow, this is my first mark, two quick fics. The first one, Envy's Birthday Gift, has spoilers for manga Wrath and isn't exactly PG-13, but not exactly rated R. The second, Bananas, has no spoilers and leaves a lot the suggestive images up to the imagination; about PG.

And now for your enjoyment (or torture), I present:


Envy's Birthday Gift
Written under commision from darkkairachan

It was Envy’s birthday, and the sins were throwing a party. Admittedly, it wasn’t much of a party, rather simple and with much cheap red wine, but it was a party nonetheless. Gluttony had been especially well-behaved; he’d held off on devouring the birthday cake until after Envy had blown out the candles. But none of these little things – not the pink streamers, or the notes wishing him a happy birthday – were comparable to the gift that Wrath had brought him.
“Untie me, damn it!” shrieked the gift from where it was tied to a card table.
Envy was nearly elated because, you see, Envy loved shiny things and absolutely everything was shiny about his gift. Metal glittered about the gift and where there wasn’t metal Wrath had wrapped the hot, naked thing in shiny aluminum foil. What skin was exposed shone with passionate anger while gold hair and eyes glinted in the lighting.
“Hurray!” Envy exclaimed, hugging Wrath tightly and ignoring the way that the Fulrer twitched when he did so; “I don’t know how you managed this, but I love you right now, so I don’t care.”
“Are you okay?” Wrath inquired as soon as Envy released him, his one visible eye looking a bit unnerved.
Long hair bounced up and down. “Never been better.”
On the card table, Edward Elric, Fullmetal Alchemist, was not happy. Not only had he been ambushed in a deserted alleyway while taking a short-cut to the tailor’s, but he’d also been knocked out only to wake up stripped and dressed for Envy’s amusement. The sin seemed to have finally decided to take notice of him, though, after Lust kindly, if not somewhat maliciously, had pointed the sin’s attention towards him.
Envy had come to stand over him, a yellow and pink party hat cocked to the left on his head. He stared at Edward; Edward stared back. The gender-questionable sin clambered on top of his gift and started to puck away absentmindedly at the thin foil as he studied the shiny, gold eyes, his face just inches away from the Fullmetal Alchemist’s, the scent of the wine making the alchemist’s eyes water slightly.
“Are you drunk?”
Thin lips curled into a coy smile, cocked party hat bouncing light of its shiny surface. “Only if you’d rather me to be.”
Unaware to the pair, Wrath slipped out. Watching two people fuck each other wasn’t really his cup of tea. Lust choose to remain to make sure Gluttony didn’t eat anything he wasn’t supposed to.
That night, Envy took Edward for a ride. It was a rather bumpy ride, but, in the end, neither of them cared. While Edward spent most of the time tied down to the card table, Envy took on different forms to help make the experience more acceptable to the alchemist.
At one point, between about two-thirty and three in the morning, Edward asked through pleasured gasps that had succeeded in making Lust jealous, “So have I been a good gift?”
To that Envy only grinned and thrust, earning a pleased howl.


Written under commision by dana_fields

“Who wants bananas?”
The colonel went right on sleeping, his head slumped against his chest and his arms crossed in a defensive position across his middle torso. When he was like this, he looked almost sickly, pale skin even paler in the dying light that flashed from the train window. Second Lieutenant John Havoc held the basket of bananas in his right hand for a moment more before simply slipping into the compartment and sitting down next to a visually exhausted First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye.
“How’s he doing?”
“He’ll be alright eventually,” she shrugged; “I don’t know how long he’s going to have to sleep, though, for that to happen.”
Havoc sighed and stared somewhat enviously at the top of the colonel’s black hair. “I wish I could solve all of my problems by sleeping,” he griped, peeling the skin of a banana and taking a bite; “Are you sure you don’t want a banana?”
Hawkeye gave him a withering look before leaning back against the back of the bench, her crossed arms slumping slightly as she returned to regarding her sleeping superior. It had always disturbed her how much the Flame Alchemist could sleep after he killed people, but extensive sleeping was better compared to his other known alternative which included, but was not limited to, drinking and drawing transmutation circles on his apartment’s walls.
“Yes, I’m sure I don’t want a banana.”
“Suit yourself,” he chirped, taking a huge bite from the yellow thing.
There was something odd about the way Havoc went about devouring his banana, the manner of his bite and his hold reminding her of someone molesting a gun barrel. His lips shut around the long food item and he bit down with his top front teeth, twisting the banana with his hand so that what he had wanted to come off came off in such a way that it looked as if it had been broken off instead of bitten. It was when he swallowed that the oddest of the process took place, the lump smashed up against the top of his mouth one moment and then gone without indication of a swallow.
“I think it’s disappeared into another dimension…”
The second lieutenant glanced up. “I’m sorry?”
“Nothing,” she answered, glancing a little too quickly to the side.
A lopsided smile twisted Havoc’s features. “My banana-eating turns you on.”
She gave him a look of shock and barely concealed indignity. “It does not! How dare you insinuate – ah!”
It was, in accordance to all laws of irony and nature, then that Colonel Roy Mustang awoke from his strangely comforting dream about a cup of vegetable soup steaming on his kitchen counter. At first, he was groggy and felt an over-whelming amount of depressed energy curled in the pit of his stomach, reminding him of what he’d done that morning and why he shouldn’t have done it but had done it anyway. He was almost about to just go back to sleep when his vision focused on a pile of what looked like blond hair and military uniforms squirming around in front of him. In a sort of trance, he stared, watching in acute fascination as the image of his first lieutenant and second lieutenant fighting over who should be on top of the other took form as the sleepy mist left his eyes.
“Wow,” he smiled, forgetting the depression he’d felt a moment earlier; “This is better than pornographic woodcuts.”
The train was nearly thrown off the track by the issuing howl of humiliation and anger, one car’s roof blowing up in flames.

Current Mood: lethargiclethargic
Current Music: "Bang Bang (My Baby Shot Me Down" - Kill Bill Vol. One
Poison Envy: Envy X Ed [gift from yukihime9]winter_ruins on August 31st, 2004 06:57 pm (UTC)
XD Love them both. I especially loved the Envy X Ed one. XD So funny. =3 Yay for drunk Envy!
♞ lovely little liar ♞: Eat Him.metallic_sweet on August 31st, 2004 07:16 pm (UTC)
I'm glad you liked it. ^^

On a side note, I think party hats are kinky. You may shoot me now.
mikkeneko on August 31st, 2004 07:58 pm (UTC)
*falls down laughing*

I wonder how many different people Envy imitated in the first one? *snerk*
♞ lovely little liar ♞metallic_sweet on August 31st, 2004 08:24 pm (UTC)

*laughs slightly off-key*

I'll let you play with that image, methinks.
Vedana_fields on August 31st, 2004 08:43 pm (UTC)
LOL! They're sooo funny!

Thanks for doing it! ^_^
♞ lovely little liar ♞metallic_sweet on August 31st, 2004 09:35 pm (UTC)
You're quite welcome. ^^
kangamoo on August 31st, 2004 10:17 pm (UTC)
Envy liking shiny things is so amusing and fitting. <3

Banana cracked me up. I have never seen a fic based on the way a person eats. Loved it!
Matt - Xeixeixei on September 1st, 2004 03:44 am (UTC)
Woo, Envy has the same birthday as me ^o^

He got the present i wanted though ;_;
Wiccat: funny FMA - envy & ed yaoi - crucifymylowiccat on September 2nd, 2004 10:10 am (UTC)
Envy... shiny... party hats...

wow, you fic just has everything I like *_*