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21 August 2004 @ 06:04 pm
Doujin and art  
So, Spores.net is down, so I'll have to upload the doujin on DeviantArt. *sigh*

Title: Gibbs
Pairing: elric brothers (not elricest, though)
Rating: PG-13 for a slightly disturbing scene on page three.
Basics: Who hurts more? The one who can feel pain physcially or the one who can't feel at all?




Gibbs, when pronounced in Japanese, is "Gibusu," which is also the word for "cast," as in a plaster cast you put on a broken limb. This doujin was inspired by the song "Gibbs" by Sheena Ringo.

I was going for the hurt-healing sort of mood in this doujin. The idea is this: "What is worse, not being able to feel anything or feeling too much? Which side hurts more?"

This doujin was made to be more cryptic and heavy than the other ones I have done, so if there are any questions, just ask.

Text is in Mandarin. Tones were done in Photoshop with pre-made tones.

Page 1

Voice: Uu...

Edward: Al--Al--

Voice: Uuuu...

Edward: Alphonse!

Voice: Uu...uu...

Edward: Al!

Page 2

Ed: Finally found you!

Al: Uu...uu...

Ed: What is it? Where does it hurt?

Ed: Al, where does it hurt?

Al: Uwaaahh

Ed: Come on, don't just cry, I'm going to leave you here!

Al: Niisan, it hurts...

Ed: What, where does it hurt?

Al: Niisan, I...

Page 3

Al: I hurt everywhere!

Ed: Ah...

Page 4

Ed: UWAAAAAHHh---

Al: Niisan, what's wrong?

Ed: Al...

Al: Niisan?

Page 5

Al: Niisan? What's wrong?

Al: Does it hurt somewhere?

Ed: It's me...

Ed: It's all my fault...

Al: Ah! Could it be that the place where your automail connects to your body is---

Al: Nii-niisan?

Ed: I was the one who made Al...

Ed: Ugh...

Page 6

Ed: ...unable to feel even the most basic of feelings.

Ed: Yes...it hurts so much, Al...

Ed: ...and then I followed suit...

Ed: It hurts. It's killing me.

Ed: And became unable to fulfill even the most basic duty as an older brother.

Al: eeehh---? Then should I call for someone?

Ed: No need. You can just...

Ed: Hold me like this!

Ed: That night...

Page 7

Ed: The temperature of my body eclipsed Al's cold armour.

Ed: And within the echoes of my heartbeat, I could faintly hear the sound of Al's heart crying in pain.

Ed: And yet I listened to that sound...and drowned deep in slumber.

I WANNA BE WITH YOU.



NEVER again am I doing Armour!Alphonse. >_< SO HARD.

Also, a coloured Edward pic. Also posted on DA (which...keeps crashing...).



Transmutation



cross-posted in youkofujima, elricest, and fm_alchemist
 
 
Current Mood: accomplishedaccomplished
 
 
mikkeneko on August 21st, 2004 03:59 pm (UTC)
WAH. Sad DJ. I love the colored picture, though. What's that little Al he has?
腹蛇: Precious laughteryoukofujima on August 21st, 2004 07:49 pm (UTC)
Thank you^^ The little Alphonse he has is like a small toy he transmuted...^^
(Deleted comment)
腹蛇: Precious laughteryoukofujima on August 21st, 2004 07:54 pm (UTC)
Thank you^^ I was really going for the emotions on Ed's face (espeically on page five), also, there was the idea that since Ed gets so many nightmares of his mum, does he ever get any of his brother?
cherry_luvcherry_luv on August 21st, 2004 07:59 pm (UTC)
i really like your coloured drawing. al's so cute! hell, they're all cute!
腹蛇youkofujima on August 21st, 2004 08:42 pm (UTC)
Thank you very much^^
Wiccat: funny naruto - pokewiccat on August 21st, 2004 08:42 pm (UTC)
Wow *_* That was really good
腹蛇youkofujima on August 21st, 2004 08:51 pm (UTC)
Thank you very much^^ *bows*
frostocelot on August 21st, 2004 08:51 pm (UTC)
hey, i found ur doujin on DA earlier today and commented. I didn't know u were also part of the community :D Ah, I didnt realize it was part of a 7 page thing. now i got to read the rest ^_^ Nice work
腹蛇: Precious laughteryoukofujima on August 21st, 2004 08:58 pm (UTC)
Oh, thank you very much^^ Sorry that this couldn't have been all showing up in one place here, my server is down. *cries*
Butterfly Collector: psychodragon82_edo_smilebasilika on August 22nd, 2004 02:01 am (UTC)
i think your Al looks very good! Even if it was hard, you have a great result to oyur effort! ^_^V
腹蛇: Precious laughteryoukofujima on August 22nd, 2004 08:56 am (UTC)
Thanks XD but man, you should have seen the guidelines I had to draw for him O_O AIE...don't know how the artist does it regularly.
(no subject) - basilika on August 23rd, 2004 11:07 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - youkofujima on August 24th, 2004 09:27 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - basilika on August 24th, 2004 11:06 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - youkofujima on August 25th, 2004 10:17 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - basilika on August 25th, 2004 10:19 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - youkofujima on August 25th, 2004 10:37 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - basilika on August 25th, 2004 11:09 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - youkofujima on August 25th, 2004 04:37 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - basilika on August 26th, 2004 06:05 am (UTC) (Expand)
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(no subject) - basilika on August 26th, 2004 09:05 am (UTC) (Expand)
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emi: <3<3<3 // crucifymyloveemigiri on August 25th, 2004 05:55 pm (UTC)
GAH I LOVED THE DOUJINSHI ;_; It's a lot better in its original mandarin I think.. x3;;; You have nice handwriting ;-; -can't write mandarin for shit xD;;-
腹蛇: Precious laughteryoukofujima on August 25th, 2004 06:29 pm (UTC)
*points at your icon and snickers* thank you^^

A lot of things just look better in its original language, if it's intended for that language^^ Thank you for liking it, and thinking my handwriting is good. I actually thought that this one was really sloppy compared to the other ones XD;
ジェニイ 「Jenny」kirchu on August 25th, 2004 06:29 pm (UTC)
Aw, such sad and touchy doujinshi! :') And I actually can read the Chinese on the pictures! Whee! I didn't read any of the English, lol. :x
腹蛇: Precious laughteryoukofujima on August 25th, 2004 06:30 pm (UTC)
Hahahah XD that's so funny. Cuz I think that my translations actually don't convey the original Mandarin dialouge on the doujinshi X3 Thanks for liking it^^/
brittdaemonicangel on August 26th, 2004 03:08 am (UTC)
I saw this before on your DA account (I was snoopin' :P) and I really liked it, but I was too shy to comment on all of the pages, lol.

Very nice job! You always make good material that's emotional (that's a good thing, of course) and believable! ^^

Happy birthday, too! I'll be scanning a couple more doujinshi soon. :p
腹蛇youkofujima on August 26th, 2004 09:00 am (UTC)
Thank you X3 Ah, don't worry about commenting on DA. It's faster to get to me on LJ, anyway^^/ thank you for liking it^^

X3 wheee doujin! Thank you X3
Kat: Y/Ynilyveth on August 26th, 2004 09:17 am (UTC)
Once again, wow... This so beautiful, though really sad. You have a great talent not only in drawing but also in writing. Their soft-spoken, vivid dialogue always manages to pierce right through my heart. Thank you.
腹蛇youkofujima on August 26th, 2004 09:30 am (UTC)
Thank you^^ I'm hoping that I can do something that's not quite as sad next time...but it's hard when we're talking about FMA here...

But I'm glad you liked it^^/