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16 February 2014 @ 11:13 pm
Just Give Me A Reason  
Title: Just Give Me A Reason
Pairing: RoyxEd
Rating: M
Timeline: Brotherhood
Words: 5,351
Summary: Three years after the Promise Day see Ed and Roy together. Except it's not the 'Happy Ever After' Ed thought it would be.
A/N: P!nk's lyrics are italicized and are not mine. Just placed in text as seen appropriate for the story. Sort of a belated Valentine thing to try and get me back into writing again.

Right from the start you were a thief that stole my heart, and I your willing victim. Ed sighed heavily as he sat on the bed, a rather empty bed, feeling so lonely. Roy wasn’t home. It was no surprise really. He would be home in a few hours, just before they had to leave to go to the party. Dinner was downstairs, getting cold like it normally did.

Ed honestly couldn’t remember the last time they had sat down together and ate a meal. Especially a meal that Ed had gone to the trouble of preparing. He had always thought that once everything had settled down that they would be able to spend more time together. The anniversary for the Promised Day was tonight. It was the third anniversary, marking three years that he had been with Roy. Three long, very lonely years.

Edward didn’t blame Roy. He couldn’t bring himself to do that. He loved the man so much. The first six months after the Promise day had been hectic. More than just hectic. Roy had been helping to rebuild the state. He’d even got promoted to a full General. Ed had his own things to deal with. His brother had insisted he stay here with Roy rather than going back to Risembool. They had argued about it, a lot, before his brother was well enough to leave the hospital. In the end it came out hard and fast as to why Alphonse didn’t want him there. He wanted to court Winry. Ed had been having enough trouble adjusting to his lack of alchemy that this completely threw him through a loop.

Of course his brother had been quick to say that he was welcome to visit and all that, but he didn’t want her getting distracted. Apparently she had a crush on Ed and Al felt that if he went back it might be giving Winry the wrong impression, especially since he’d been having a secret relationship with Roy. Ed had visited them. He saw them once a month, but he never felt comfortable there anymore. His brother was always tense, as if Winry might change her mind.

Ed had left the military a few years earlier due to no longer needing the benefits of the job and no longer being able to actually do alchemy.  He and Roy had come out about their relationship after Ed had turned 18. Roy had gone so far as to ask the boy to live with him. Ed had agreed, especially as he no longer felt welcome in Risembool. For a few months things had been great. Roy had courted him, taken him to expensive dinners, bought him nice things and always made him feel special. Though things started to slowly stop. The gifts were very rare and Ed didn’t mind that. It made him feel like a girl anyway. Sometimes Roy would forget about a dinner date they had due to work. And Ed was okay with that too. He was a busy man after all.

Somewhere along the line Ed seemed to have found himself filling the role of what would have been a housewife. He found he didn’t mind. Ed rather liked making things easier for Roy by keeping the house in order and having dinner ready for the man coming home. But after a while Roy started to forget about making it home in time for dinner.

So instead Ed found himself taking in large lunches for Roy to have during the day since he couldn’t make dinner. At first Roy had been so surprised and happy at the consideration. So despite the minor disappoint about lonely dinners, Ed felt happy he still could make the man happy somehow.

However, as time went on Ed started to feel less inclined to make these lunches. Especially when he caught Roy flirting or having a bit of feel of some slutty woman in his office. The lunch got dumped on Havoc’s desk and that was the last time that happened.

Roy claimed that nothing was going on and Ed found himself caring less and less if something really was going on. They hadn’t slept together in a long time now. Roy always came home so late and left so early. Ed used to stay up and wait, but eventually that stopped to when Roy would ignore him and just get into bed to sleep.

Even in bed when they were together, Roy seemed so far away from him. So distant in every meaning of the word. Once upon a time Roy would hardly be able to wait to get his hands on Ed, but now? In the beginning it was so different. Ed had let him see the parts of him that weren’t all that pretty, but with every touch Roy would fix them.

But just the other night he heard Roy say something in his sleep that just about broke his heart. Roy had been talking in his sleep, saying things he’d never say to Ed. Saying that he’d had enough of their love. It was that moment that had inspired Ed to end things. He’d been thinking about how to do it, what to say for days. He hadn’t been really sleeping because of it. In the few moments he had tried to talk to Roy, the man was too busy leaving to listen.

Eventually Ed decided that tonight would be his best bet to talk to the man. To leave him. It would be much easier to get a moment alone with his man at a crowded party then it would inside their lonely house.

--------------------
In the end Roy didn’t even come home to pick him up. He sent Havoc. Edward couldn’t even bring himself to feel surprised. The smoker gave him an apologetic smile.

Ed was dressed in a suit. A nice black one with a red undershirt. He felt he needed a little of his eccentric style from the past in order to pump him up for what he needed to do. Havoc seem to have approved, making a smart ass comment how Mustang was obvious in trouble. Havoc had no idea how right he was.

The party itself was how military parties normally were. Boring beyond measure but flashy. They were in some stiffy man’s mansion on the edge of a lake. It was so generic.

Edward had not found it hard to locate his partner. Roy was in the middle of a group of generals, chatting away, kissing ass to promote himself in the eyes of his peers.

“There you are,” Edward said, announcing his arrival. “Been wondering if I would actually get to see you at all tonight.”
“Ed,” Roy said, looking surprised he was even there.

Roy gave him a peck on the cheek before launching back into conversation. Why the man was surprised was beyond Ed. He had sent Havoc to collect Ed. Or had Havoc been a little less than honest in the matter? Or was Ed merely presuming Havoc was there on orders instead of doing his commanding officer a favour by bringing his partner to the party? It was at that point that Ed felt more like a trophy to Roy then a lover. The man’s arm came around his waist and pulled him close. But there was no intimacy in the touch. It was almost like it was just meant to anchor him there.

Ed was polite. He spoke with a few people who didn’t seem to be so involved in what Roy had to say. They were polite back. One or two were kind enough to ask if he’d like a drink or something to eat. Ed declined politely. He felt too ill to eat and he detested alcohol. He wasn’t fond of things that impaired him. Silly really since how much his love for Roy could impair his judgement for so long.

After a considerable amount of time, Ed felt he had waited long enough to speak to his partner.

“Gentlemen,” Ed said loudly. “I’m afraid I might have to steal Roy away for a moment. But he’ll be back shortly. I promise.”

Most of the men nodded, obviously not minding. One or two looked offended. But they had that look for most of the night. They were some of the few that were not happy about General Mustang’s life choices. Right now Ed couldn’t care less.

“Huh?” Roy said as he emptied his wine glass. “But I’m-“

“It’ll only take a moment,” Ed was quick to promise Roy. “Then you can come back and talk the night away.”

Edward pulled at Roy’s arm slightly until the man followed. The blond lead his man to one of the balcony areas that would be separated from the party by a curtain. On the way past Roy managed to get hold of a whiskey decanter and a glass from one of the drinks tables. Ed didn’t approve, but the man would probably need a stiff drink after he was done.

“So...” Roy said, sounding slightly annoyed as they went behind the curtain. “Why was I dragged away from the party?”

“I would have thought that perhaps you might have liked to see me,” Ed said with a snort as he looked out at the lake below them. “But I know that’s not true. You never want to see me anymore, do you?”

“What?” Roy frowned. “What are you talking about?”

“You’re never home anymore,” Ed pointed out. “You never make time for me. Instead you feel the need to grope around at work! If you didn’t want to be with me anymore you should have said something!”

Ed was struggling to not shout. His voice was rising. He’d wanted to stay so calm, but he couldn’t. It was hurting him to have this conversation, but not having would have hurt so much more.

“You forget our dinner dates,” Ed continued. “My dinners go to waste, you didn’t even come home tonight to pick me up for this. Havoc came and got me. Did you send him or did he remember something you didn’t?”

Roy was strangely silent. He had placed the decanter down on the table on the balcony along with the glass.

“Do you...” Ed’s voice cracked for a moment. “Do you even love me anymore? Or was it just the chase in getting me in the first place? Am I a trophy or do you actually care?”

I’m sorry I don’t understand where all of this is coming from,” Roy said. “I thought that we were fine.”

Oh, we had everything,” Ed said sarcastically.

Your head is running wild again,” Roy sighed and smiled as if what Ed was talking about was silly. “My dear we still have everything and it’s all in your mind.”

Yeah,” Ed said as he ran a hand through his bangles. “This is happening. Roy, this is happening. It’s not in my mind. Do you know you talk in your sleep? Probably the only time you’re actually being honest with me. Hell, it’s the only time you even talk to me anymore.”

“Edward,” Roy said gently, putting his hand on Ed’s cheek. “You’ve been having real bad dreams. You don’t look like you’ve slept well in nights. I certainly know you haven’t. You’ve been tossing and turning. Are you sure you didn’t dream I said something? You used to lie so close to me. There’s nothing more than empty sheets between our love.”

Empty sheet between our love?” Ed echoed as he batted Roy’s hand away. “Our love? Tear ducts and rust.”

I’ll fix it for us,” Roy promised sweetly.

We are collecting dust,” Ed stated. “But our loves not.”

“Ed,” Roy said as he uncapped the decanter. “You’re holding it in. It’s all you do. How am I ever meant to be close to you when you won’t let me in?

You’re pouring a drink?” Ed hissed. “Now?”

Nothing is as bad as it seems,” Roy dismissed him as he poured the drink.

“Then,” Ed said snatching the glass away and throwing it over the balcony. “We’ll come clean.”

“I love you, Roy.” Ed confessed. “But you’re hurting me. I don’t think I can continue to live like... a trophy housewife.”

“Then you can get a job,” Roy suggested simply. “Get out the house a bit-“

“It’s not the being a housewife part that bothers me,” Ed snapped. “It’s the trophy part. It’s the fact that if I want to see or send time with you, it’s when you’re being the General. Being General Roy fucking Mustang. I miss Roy. The guy I secretly dated behind the military’s back. The guy who always found time for me, no matter how bad work was.”

Roy didn’t say anything. He simply lifted the decanter as if to drink from the glass when it suddenly exploded. The shattered glass and whiskey fell to the floor as Ed turned to see a man with a silencer advancing from the curtain with another two men at his back. Ed reacted quickly, shoving Roy aside when the shooter took another shot. Roy hit the ground hard, not expecting the push. He was knocked behind a pot plant. Safe. Ed’s bicep burned as the shot managed to hit him in the exchange.

Ed moved quickly, not dwelling on his arm. He might not be in the military, but he was hardly untrained. He kept up his training every day. He might not even have his alchemy, but he was more than just an alchemist. He was a ‘housewife’! The shooter fired again but Ed was already in the air. He jumped and twisted himself around, knocking the outstretched arm of the shooter away from where Roy was with his automail foot and landed right in front of the man.

The man moved to push him back, but Ed thrusted his fist up knocking the guy square in the jaw. The force was not enough to knock the man back in any real dramatic way, but that’s not what Ed needed. Instead he grabbed the man’s shoulders with both hands in the same flow of movement and brought it his metal knee right into his groin. The man dropped like a bag of cement.

Ed hardly had time for a triumphant smile when he heard a smashing sound behind him. Ed twisted to see Roy was up and taking on the second shooter. Ed had only taken the first step of his run when he was tackled by a third man. Ed went head first into the marble balcony barrier.

He was dazed. He was struggling to stand when he was hit in the stomach by a fist. Ed found he couldn’t breathe and barely able to keep his knees from giving out on him. Another fist connected his chin, sending him reeling against the barrier. He stayed on his feet, barely. His vision had darkened significantly, his mind confused. He found himself swaying as he tried to counter the attack. But Ed’s punches were off target. His attacked grabbed his jacket, pressing him against the barrier. It happened in an instant. Edward didn’t even know he had been thrown off the balcony unit he hit the water below.

All of a sudden it was cold everywhere as he sunk into the water. It took him a moment to realise he was in the water. The only reason he noticed was when he breathed in, he wasn’t taking in air, but instead water. He tried to get to the surface, but his leg dragged him down. He didn’t have the strength to struggle to the surface, or the air to try with. His chest burned, his body fitting with the foreign water in his lungs. Consciousness was gone swiftly, leaving him to sink limply to the floor of the lake, his leg keeping his body from rising.

---------------------

Roy had no idea what had hit him until he saw Ed moving in a way he hadn’t seen in three years. Roy whipped out his gloves. The other shooter was taking shots at him as he got them on. He snapped quickly, but the shooter was moving quickly. He growled. He hadn’t had to do this in so long. Since his last assessment. He’d been so caught up in work he’d hardly been keeping his practice up.

This had to be this worse evening of his life. Ed was practically leading up to leaving him. Where else could that conversation have gone?! Roy hadn’t realised that things had been that bad. He didn’t want to believe it. Then these guys come, guns blazing.

Roy felt a smirk spread across his face when he finally managed to hit his target. It was only in the shoulder, but it caused the man to drop his gun as he went to his knees. Roy ran over to him and kicked the man square in the jaw. The man was out for the count.

He turned just as Ed was thrown off the balcony. His heart dropped as quickly as Edward had.

“No!” He screamed.

With a snap of his fingers the man was dust. Roy raced over to the edge of the balcony.

“EDWARD!” He called out into the night.

He waited a moment, waiting for his boy to surface, but nothing happened. It took a moment for him to realise it wasn’t going to happen. His automail... Edward might have a real arm now, but his leg was still steel. Heavy steel! He tore off his jacket and kicked off his shoes when he heard a gun fire behind him.

Roy spun round to see Hawkeye standing there in a rather flattering gown, her gun raised and the first shooter with a bullet wound to the head. The gun he had clutter to the ground from his grasp.

“Sir?” She said, already taking in the scene.

“Edward’s in the water!” He shouted as he jumped over the barrier and down into the lake.

He could hear her calling his name, but her concern was the last thing on his mind. The icy water greeted him as he hit the water. It was like hitting a brick wall. A very sobering brick wall. Roy swam as fast as he could, heading down into the depts. He was frantic in his search for Edward. He had to find him!

Roy almost swam right past the boy. It was only the glimpse of red that caught his attention. From the little light that came from above he could faintly see the red shirt Ed had chosen to wear with his suit. Roy wasted no time. He wrapped his arms around Ed’s limp form and tried to swim towards the surface. He only managed to get half a metre before Ed’s weight dragged them both back down to the bottom of the lake.
No! Roy felt his lungs burning. He was running out of air! Quickly, he changed tactics. He sunk to the lake floor and clapped his hands. This clapping business wasn’t his strong suit. It really wasn’t. Trying to picture an array whole, especially one he hardly used, was difficult. He slammed them down and forced the alchemy into the earth. It responded, forcing them both up on a platform. Just before they reached the surface Roy air ran out. He let out his breath and drew it water. He almost faulted in his work, but thankfully broke the water’s surface. He was choking on the water as he drew in a breath of air. He coughed and coughed, each breath hurting as he drew it.

Roy looked down at Edward’s prone form. He wasn't coughing or taking large breaths. Worse of all he wasn't even breathing.

“E-ED!” He coughed, as he shook his lover. “ED!”

The boy’s lips were blue. No...

“No!” He protested, forcing Ed onto his back. “Don’t do this to me Ed.”

He took hold of Ed’s head almost a little too roughly, and forced it sideways. A small amount of water poured from his lifeless lips. Roy’s hands started to shake and he turned Ed’s head back up again. He drew Ed’s head back and pinched his nose. The boy was so cold. With his other hand he drew Ed’s chin down and gave two breaths into Ed. Quickly, he let go and placed his hands on top of one another on Ed’s chest, above his heart.

Roy started his compressions. He could feel Ed’s little ribs cracking under the pressure. He was being rough, but being gentle might cause him to lose Edward.

“Come on, Ed.” He whispered. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

Once he reached thirty compression he gave Ed two more breaths before resuming the compressions. He could hear voices calling loudly. But it didn’t matter. Not right now.

“Edward, please,” He practically begged the boy. “I’ll do better.”

Another two breaths.

“I’ll remember dinner dates. I’ll be home for dinner every night.”

Another two breaths.

“I’ll hold you close every night. I won’t let go.”

Another two breaths.

“I do love you. I always will. Just please don’t leave me.”

Another two breaths.

“Please!”

Suddenly, as Roy went to give yet another two breaths, Edward jerked beneath him. He was jerking in a fit. Roy almost didn’t realise the boy was trying to take a breath. With a hand under one knee and the other on Ed’s shoulder, he rolled the boy over. The water came out in spurts as Edward struggled to breath. Roy banged him back, trying to help.

“Ed?” Roy whispered. “Edward?”

Slowly, the fits subsided as Edward took shallow breaths. His eyes had fluttered open for a moment when Roy had spoke but they were closed again now.

“Edward?” He tried to shake the boy but got no response. “Honey?”

Tears flowed as he watched Ed take one laboured breath after another. Carefully, being as gentle as he could, he gathered Edward into his arms. Roy didn’t care for dignity, he sobbed loud and hard into Ed’s cold shoulder. The blond’s hair lolled away from him, his wet bangles sticking to his face. His lips were still blue, but he was alive.

They stayed together like that until Roy felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked up to see Hawkeye at his side. He looked around to see someone had alchemised a bridge to their platform in the lake.

“Is he...?” She asked quietly.

“He’s alive,” Roy sobbed. “He’s alive.”

“Roy?” She squeezed his should gently. “We have medics here. They should look at him.”

Roy looked at her. It made sense, but his mind seemed frozen. How long had he been out here on the water. Ed was still ice cold to touch and he was probably no better.

“Come on, sir.” She said gently, tugging at his arm to get him to stand.

There was so much effort in standing and Edward was heavy in his arms. His breaths came and went. They were shallow and uneven, but they were there.

“He won’t wake up,” he sobbed.

“He will,” she promised him. “But he needs medical attention.”

The walk to the edge of the lake was slow and slippery. Everyone had gathered out on the bank to watch his walk. He wanted to yell at them. Tell them to stop looking at him with such pity in their faces. They looked like they thought he was carrying a corpse. Edward was alive!

It took some coaxing to get Edward out of his arms and into those of the medics. Someone had wrapped a blanket around his shoulders and placed him into the back of an ambulance. They were checking him over. The only reason he had even allowed it, was that he could see them checking Edward from here. He didn’t even notice the prick in his arm. Darkness slowly narrowed his vision. The last thing he saw was Edward breathing.

------------------

Edward found himself staring at a ceiling, wondering why it was so white. His lungs burned with every breath and he felt exhausted, as if he hadn’t slept. He could feel someone holding his hand, stroking his arm. He turned his head slightly and he saw Roy sitting by his bed. It was only then he realised that he was in hospital.

Roy blinked at him a few times before reaching towards his with the hand that had been stroking Ed’s arm. The hand cupped Ed’s cheek.
“How are you feeling?” Roy asked, his voice cracking slightly.

Ed frowned slightly. He could see Roy had been crying. His eyes were red and puffy. His voice was strained. Roy never cried, ever. Ed swallowed a few times to try and coat his dry throat.

“W-What happ-pen?” Ed rasped softly, struggling to get his voice working.

Though it was all for nothing, as Ed couldn’t ever hear what he had mumbled properly. It had been muffled by a mask he hadn’t even been aware he was wearing. His free hand came to him face to get rid of it. Roy had let go his hand to stop him taking it off.

“Leave it,” Roy told him gently. “I’m going to get the doctor, I’ll be back.”

Ed just stared at him as he rose from his seat. His hand had gone back to resting on the bed while he searched his mind for why he was here. He’d been at a dinner party. Yeah, that’s right. He’d been talking to Roy, leaving him… The rest was a little fuzzy.

Before Ed could ponder on it for too long Roy had returned with a doctor and a nurse. Roy stayed by the door while the nurse helped him sit up. Pain shot through his chest in the attempt, the nurse having to do must of the work. She arranged his pillows so he could lean back and be supported. The position hurt but not as much as trying to sit up.

The doctor flashed lights in his eyes and asked him a series of questions as the nurse took his oxygen mask off for a moment to allow him to sip some water from a cup through a straw. He’d received a bullet wound to a bicep. It was superficial and wouldn’t take long to heal. Ed had had worse before. So that didn’t bother him at all. What they said next did.

They told him he had drowned. That Roy had saved him. As they told him what happened the memories started to come back to him. He’d gone over the balcony and into the water. He couldn’t get to the surface. Roy had gone after him and resuscitated him. In doing so many of his ribs were cracked and a few even broken from the effort of saving his life. This scared him. He’d never been able to swim and since getting automail the idea of going near a large body of water always made him weary. The weight was too much to swim against and without his alchemy to create something to help him…

The nurse took the water, putting his mask back on and left the two alone. Ed took the mask off as soon as they were gone.
“You shouldn’t-“ Roy moved towards the bed.

“Thank you,” Ed interrupted him. “For saving me…”

Ed felt horrible. He’d been trying to leave Roy, but the man still jumped into a lake to save him. What if Roy had drowned in the attempt? The thought made him shiver.

“You saved me first,” Roy told him as he took his seat by the bed. “You reacted so quickly to the attack. And how could I not save you… I love you, Ed.”

Those words were heavy on Ed’s heart, sinking into his stomach.

“Do you really think I would stop caring if we had finished that conversation?” Roy continued. “Do you think so little of me?”

“No,” Ed confessed.

“Would you not have done the same for me?” Roy asked.

“Yes,” Ed admitted. “I would have done it without thinking. Dooming us both.”

“That’s because you’re my brash, little idiot,” Roy smiled at him slightly. “Are you still my brash, little idiot?”

Ed thought for a few moments. He loved Roy so much. So very much. It’s why it hurt so much that he was alone all the time. He never expected Roy to spend all his time with him. But at the moment this was the longest they had been together in months when it wasn’t a party and they were both awake.

Just give me a reason,” Ed said at last. “Just a little bit’s enough. Just a second, we’re not broken, just bent, and we can learn to love again.”

It’s in the stars,” Roy reached over and took his hand once again. “It’s been written in the scars on our heats. That we’re not broken just bent, and we can learn to love again.”

 “You’re a sap,” Ed smiled a little. “Been a very long time since you were this poetic.”

“I’m sorry, Ed.” Roy said. “I really am. Just give me another chance and I promise I’ll make it up to you.”

“But what about the late night meetings?”

“Cancelled.”

“The long hours?”

“Shortened.”

“The flirting at work?”

“Never again.”

“Your dreams of becoming Fuhrer?

“Not worth a thing without you at my side.”

Ed stared at Roy. This had been something Roy had wanted and strived for long before they had met. Ed had only thrown in the last question because if Roy was not working as hard as he had been, then would he make it? Ed just hadn’t expected for this dream to be thrown away so easily. Did Ed mean so much to the man?

“Just give me a chance,” Roy begged. “A trail period to show you or something. If you’re still not happy I won’t stop you. I promise.”

Ed looked Roy in the eye. He could see the hurt. The hurt Ed had been feeling for so long. He didn’t want Roy to hurt and he didn’t want to hurt anymore either.

“Okay,” Ed submitted.

“Thank you,” Roy smiled as he leaned in to kiss Ed on the head affectionately, while placing the mask back on Ed’s face. “Thank you so much.”

Ed reached up and pulled Roy closer so the man sat on the bed. Roy gently wrapped his arms around Ed, being so very careful with Ed’s bruised and broken ribs.

--------------------

A week later Roy was escorting Ed home. He’d taken time off work to look after Ed. The doctors said he should take it easy and stick to bed rest for a month. No housework. No training. Just rest. Roy had vowed to look after him and do all the hard work.

Everyday Roy surprised Ed with something new. A gift here and there. Taking him out to dinners now and again. Sometimes it was just something as simple as breakfast in bed. But everyday Roy found something new to surprise him with.

Ed expected things to slowly go back to how they were, but they didn’t. Roy had a late night every now and again, but he always rang up with plenty of time to warn him about. Havoc was even happy to report the flirting had stopped and all available ladies were redirected to his desk instead. This made Havoc very happy.

They were happy. Ed was happy.

This wasn’t to say the fights never happened and a lover’s spat was uncommon. They happened. They happened a lot. But it takes two to make a relationship work. It takes two to fight and to love. And finally, it seemed there were two people in this relationship again.

“Just give me a reason,
Just a little bit’s enough,
Just a second, we’re not broken,
Just bent and we can learn to love again.
It’s in the stars
It’s been written in the scars on our heats.
That we’re not broken just bent,
And we can learn to love again.”
 
 
 
too_beauty: FMA: Ed kissing Roytoo_beauty on February 16th, 2014 09:25 pm (UTC)
Lovely but you had me worried for a while!
shell_mel: Missingshell_mel on February 17th, 2014 11:52 am (UTC)
Thank you. Glad you enjoyed it. :)