Set + Theme: Set 2, theme 1: Ice
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Pairing: Roy Mustang/Riza Hawkeye (Romantic), Elric bros
Rating: PG-13 (for Ed’s colorful language)
Genre(s): mostly humor, general
Word Count: 1,017
Disclaimer/Claimer: Yeah, I grew up on a dairy farm and walk around in a cow suit. Totally.
Summary: Teasing Edward was going to be the highlight of his day till his date with Cydney.
Mustang could hear Edward even before he made it into the building. The boy was always so damn loud. He rested his chin on his palm and sighed. Today was not his day, he hoped teasing Fullmetal could relieve the stress of all the paperwork he had been doing. Twice his usual load!
The squeak of the door hinges alerted him that it was being opened. Mustang made a mental note to tell the janitor to oil the door. The squeaking it made every time someone entered and exited the room was going to give him a headache, and he really didn’t want to be stuck in the building till midnight doing paperwork with a headache.
But maybe if he had a headache Hawkeye would take pity on him and give him a back rub. Then she might take his shirt off, and then she would sit in his lap and straddle his hips as he slowly-
“Mustang.” Roy’s eyes shot open at the sight of the Lieutenant in the door way.
“Yes Hawkeye?” He had a hard time looking at her, with what had been playing in his mind was still fresh in his thoughts. It seemed she had the amazing power of being able to read his mind, so he preferred not allowing her to look at him and see what he had been picturing.
“The Elric brothers are here sir.” Her eyes flickered from him to the hallway. Telling him they were on the stairs coming up. He could hear Alphonse’s armor and Edward’s automail screeching. He hoped Edward’s mechanic would be fixing that if Edward was staying in East City. The noise up close would be quite ear-piercing and annoying to listen to all day.
“I could hear then from outside, tell Fullmetal too-“
Edward practically flew into the room nearly pushing Hawkeye over and Alphonse ducked into the room after him, excusing his brother’s bad manners as Hawkeye just nodded, saying it was alright. Mustang thought it was more along the lines that she was already used to it.
Edward dropped a stack of papers on Mustang’s desk. “There. Done.”
Mustang picked up the stack and thumbed through it. “What are these Fullmetal?”
“Why don’t you try reading it to find out?” Edward sneered already trying to make his way out of the room. “Fullmetal, you can’t leave till your superior has dismissed you.” He stopped hunched his shoulders and turned back around on the balls of his feet. “If he keeps making that face it’s going to get stuck that way.” Roy thought as Edward turned around.
“I’ll ask again, what are these?” Edward’s lip curled in disgust at being held back.
“It’s the documents and paperwork on our trip in the city of Lior, sir.” Alphonse Elric answered in the place of his rude older brother.
“Ah, yes I remember asking for these two weeks ago.” He shot Edward a smile he knew would drive him over the edge. And as Mustang expected the young alchemist turned red and hissed at him from between his teeth. “I would’a had it done earlier if you hadn’t sent us pack toward to that mining town run by that fucked-up, big headed, Lieutenant.” Mustang frowned at Edward’s choice of words that he used to describe the used-to-be Lieutenant Yoki.
Between the hustle and bustle of Eastern Command’s halls Roy could faintly hear a phone ringing. Then he heard a woman’s heels clicking against the linoleum flooring as they approached the door. The Elrics as well as Hawkeye turned when the door opened. A short woman with dark black hair smiled and told the Lieutenant there was a call for her.
Riza turned to Roy, asking her superior for permission, and turned and left when he nodded.
Roy turned his attention back to the blonde boy in front of him. “Now, Edward. What would that pretty girlfriend of yours from Risenbool say if she heard you talking like that?”
He barely missed Alphonse mutter, “She’d probably hit him with her wrench”, before Edward’s automail started screeching at the same time that he did that she was just his mechanic and not his girlfriend.
“Ah, yes,” Mustang gave Edward an evil smirk, “You haven’t had the balls to confess to her your feelings.”
His subordinate’s face lit bright red in embarrassment and fury. “I don’t have any feelings to confess to a grubby mechanic like her! And either way, it’s not like you’ve done any better breaking the ice between you and Hawkeye!”
“Hawkeye and I’s current relationship is none of your business.” Roy turned to Alphonse trying to seek refuge, but the younger brother seemed to be enjoying the current situation.
“You know if you want, I could ask Major Armstrong to teach you two how to confess you feelings to a girl. I’m sure he’d be more than enthusiastic to help.” Edward jaw seemed to hit the floor and he turned and started to direct his fury at his brother, who Roy was sure that if the boy had a flesh body, he would be grinning wickedly at the two of them.
“A much as I’d love to hear about courting techniques that have been passed down the Armstrong line for generations, I think I can handle myself just fine considering it is against military regulation for two officers to be in a relationship.” Roy countered coolly. Even without facial expression he could feel the younger Elrics illusions drop from where he was sitting.
“But,” Roy intend to keep playing with Edward, for it was basically the most fun he would have till his date with Cydney tonight, “That doesn’t give Edward an excuse not to hook up with his mechanic.”
“I TOLD YOU! SHE’S JUST A FRIEND!”
Roy laughed but on the inside he wished he could say even that simple phrase about Hawkeye. It beet saying she was his subordinate every time she needed to be introduced.
Oh well, might he as well entertain himself with Edward to put the thought of what he wished could be, out of his mind.