cornerofmadness (cornerofmadness) wrote in fm_alchemist,

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Fic -Implausible Deniability

Title -- Implausible Deniability
Author-- cornerofmadness
series -- manga, but it owes some of its idea to something Ed did in the first anime
Disclaimer -- Arakawa owns all and would probably kick me for this
Rating -- PG 13
Characters/Pairing -- Chris, Vanessa, Roy, Riza, implied Roy/Riza
Timeline/Spoilers -- sometime after Ishval but before Hughes has an ill-fated meeting with Envy
Word Count -- 495
Warning -- borders on crack!fic, in other words, crap men get up to while drunk
Summary -- Roy denies everything.
Author’s Note -- yeah probably not the real idea most would have in mind for ‘rebound,’ but the first to my mind (sorry, Ed, Al, one day I’ll write you again). For the uninitiated, VOQ is military shorthand for visiting officers’ quarters and I think most everyone knows what R&R stands for. I originally wrote this during the Founders Day celebration on paper smuggled in under my robes but I kept forgetting that version in the office but this is pretty much the same thing that came out of my fevered brain sitting in an oven of a gymnasium listening to someone wax poetic about the college’s founding mother, and I borrowed the first name of one of our presidents for an Armstrong general. Written for fma_fic_contest. Thanks to evil_little_dog for the beta.


“Vanessa, is it true!” Deborah leaned against the bar. “Is Roy-boy on the rebound?”

Vanessa gazed down the bar at the unaccustomed sight of Roy hunched over a glass of whiskey. Her ‘brother’ so rarely came to Central and usually looked like he enjoyed it more. “Elizabeth couldn’t have dumped him, could she?”

“That’s what I heard,” Johanna came over, primping her blonde curls. “And I’m going in for the kill.”

“What’s so fascinating that we’re standing around gossiping instead of working?”

The women turned to face Madame Christmas. Vanessa picked up a glass to clean before answering. “They’re debating who gets Roy now that he’s been dumped.”

Chris shooed them back to work before making her way over to Roy. She nestled up against the bar. “That’s a hang dog face. Just what did you do to make Elizabeth mad?”

“Nothing,” Roy grumbled, draining his whiskey and beckoning for more. “She’s unreasonable.”

“Really? So you’re on your best behavior?”

“I arranged for R&R after a week of maneuvers in Briggs. That’s great behavior, but she’s mad at me for no reason.”

“So that wasn’t you and Hughes outside the VOQ drunkenly serenading her?” Chris hoisted herself onto a barstool. “Then proceeded to Mayfair Street to do the same?”

“A total lie.”

“If I call Gracia Hughes, she won’t confirm it?” As he grimaced, Chris tapped just above a small cut on his forehead. “Isn’t this where the ice bucket hit you? And then, did you not proceed to gather your men and party into the park to take turns riding behind General Alphus Armstrong on his cavalry statue?”


“And you all ended up in the fountain, half dressed?” Chris tugged a photo out of her clutch-purse.

Roy’s lip wobbled. “Where did you get that?”

“I’m not the best information gatherer in Amestris for nothing. What I don’t know is what you did when you went back to the VOQ drunk out of your mind. Obviously, it was something to make everyone think Elizabeth dumped you.”

“Nothing, I swear.”

“Swear or nothing you remember?” Chris beckoned to the shadows. Riza stepped out, her hair loose and blue.

“Oh…I thought I dreamt that. I think I used her sapphire bracelet, the one her mom left her, and transmuted it, bonding it to the sulfur bridges in her hair’s proteins.” Roy grimaced. “Made her into my gem.” He swallowed hard. “Not fair, you’re my aunt! I’m supposed to be the one who gets to whine to you.”

Chris and Riza both crossed their arms, giving him a look. Chris kicked his ankle. “Never underestimate the solidarity of women. Now go fix it before you really do need to find a rebound lover.”

Roy slinked off with Riza back toward Chris’s office. The older woman sighed, beckoning for Vanessa to bring her a drink.

“So, did she dump him?” Vanessa asked, handing over the gin and tonic.

“We’ll see.” Chris glanced back toward her office. “Alchemists, nothing but trouble.”

Tags: fanfic
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