cornerofmadness (cornerofmadness) wrote in fm_alchemist,

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several 'clue' ficlets

All of these were written for fanfic_bakeoff's 'clue' prompt which seemed to be highly inspiring to me judging just by how many there are. Photobucket

Author- cornerofmadness
Fandom Fullmetal Alchemist
Disclaimer Arakawa owns all
Rating PG-13
Characters/Pairing Trisha
Timeline/Spoilers set while she’s pregnant with Ed
Word Count 146
Warning none
Summary It takes a village to prepare for a child
Author’s Note written for marynachaotica’s for her one word prompt of ‘determined’ and for this challenge


All of Trisha’s neighbors were determined to help her prepare for her first child. They seemed convinced that poor Hohenheim hadn’t the first clue what he should be doing. She suspected that was because he was more of a book person than a farmer. They didn’t quite get him or trust him.

He had already painted the nursery and had gone to a bigger town to get a collection of children’s books that he insisted their baby just had to have. Trisha thought that was sweet. Unfortunately, the day he left, the baby had kicked so hard that it broke one of her ribs. Pinako and Sara had pitched in more to help her out since there was nothing much to do for a broken rib. Urey said the baby was probably a boy. Pinako said it was obviously already trouble.

Trisha suspected both were right.

Title Odd Couple
Author- cornerofmadness
Fandom Fullmetal Alchemist
Disclaimer Arakawa owns all
Rating PG - 13
Characters/Pairing Roy/Maes
Timeline/Spoilers Academy days
Word Count 300
Warning none really
Summary Roy is very mad at Maes
Author’s Note this was written for goodbyemagpie for the one word prompt of ‘mad’ as well as for this challenge. Like so many others it was too long. The longer version is elsewhere. Also the tea Roy is brewing is kombucha


“I am so mad at you!” Roy slammed the dorm room door shut.

Maes shot him a clueless look. “What? This isn't about quiche again is it?”

“What? No. You threw out the tea of life!” Roy pointed to the glass jar on his desk, which had been cleaned and dried.

“You're a slob. I was cleaning up.” Maes shrugged. “That tea was gross. It had thick stuff floating in it.” His nose wrinkled. “It wasn't an alchemy experiment, was it? You should mark that stuff if it was.”

“How about you ask me before you go all Mom on the room?” Roy tossed himself on the bed. “I was everywhere looking for you so I could yell.”

“You knew I'd be back eventually.”

“That tea was supposed to have stuff in it. That's a mix of bacteria and yeast. It ferments the tea of life for you.”

Maes glanced over at that jar. “You were brewing alcohol? That's illegal.

“No, tea of life is...well, it has some alcohol but it's medicinal tea and now it's nothing since you whipped out the Mother. So I'm mad at you.”

“You'll get over it. Next time try telling me that it wasn't just moldy tea you forgot to drink.”

“I'm not getting over it. I'm not even looking at you.”

“You'll forgive me or I won't give you what you want.”

“You have nothing I want.”

Maes cocked up an eyebrow. “Oh really? How about this?” He blew Roy a kiss.

Roy waved him off. “If you're going to withhold sex, you'll cave long before me.”

“We'll see.”

Maes promptly lifted up his shirt, rubbing his belly. Roy decided now was the time to make good his promise not to look at him. There was no way he was going to cave first.

Title Wild as the Wind
Author- cornerofmadness
Fandom Fullmetal Alchemist
Disclaimer Arakawa owns all
Rating PG
Characters/Pairing, Chris, Roy, some OC’s
Timeline/Spoilers set during Roy’s childhood so spoilers for that
Word Count 300
Warning Roy being silly
Summary Chris sees his wildness as a Mustang trait
Author’s Note This ended up a bit long (that version is elsewhere) and I’m pretty sure I had Roy get up to this same mischief elsewhere. Written for bay115 for her one word prompt ‘wild,’ as well as this prompt


“Miss Christmas, are you sure he's your nephew? I think the boy formed out of the wild winds,” Penny said, meeting Chris at the door.

The information broker sighed. “What has he done now?”

“What hasn't he done? He, Thomas Miller and Kim Lane have been running circles around me all day,” the young babysitter cried.

Chris had a pretty good clue what that trio could get up to. Tom and Roy got along well unless, of course, they were competing for Kim's attention. At least they were able to tear her nephew away from the alchemy books. He was too serious too often.

“Do it!”

The whoop drew Chris and Penny's attentions up to the second floor where Kim, Tom and Roy were standing at the banister.

“We dare you,” Kim added.

That's all Roy needed. Before Chris could tell him no, Roy swung onto the banister sliding down like it was greased. Roy squealed with glee until he slammed into the newel post. His eyes widened and he slipped onto the steps, losing his breath. Tom and Kim pelted down the steps, laughing.


Chris peered down at her nephew. His lips quivered as he clenched his thighs together. “Now just how did you think that trip was going to end?”

“Was gonna jump off before I hit,” he whimpered. “Timed it wrong.”

“Ha, you squashed your parts!” Tom howled and Roy's eyes welled up.

Chris looked over at Penny. “He'll be less wild for a while.”

She rolled her eyes. “It's been like this all day.”

Chris helped Roy to sit up on the step. “Next time these two dare you to do something, don't.”

He peered at her. “Where would the fun be then?”

Chris just ruffled his hair. No doubt about it, he was a Mustang.

Title The Unintelligence Quotient
Author- cornerofmadness
Fandom Fullmetal Alchemist
Disclaimer Arakawa would probably disapprove of this one
Rating R (for language)
Characters/Pairing ensemble, Winry pov
Timeline/Spoilers post 108 so spoiler
Word Count 296
Warning bad language, drunkenness
Summary How could they be so smart and so dumb at the same time

Author’s Note another one that ended up too long (that version is posted elsewhere). This was written for evil_little_dog and her one word prompt ‘Intelligent’ as well as this challenge. The drink described here is technically called an Adios Motherfucker


Winry knew Ed and Al were two of the most intelligent men she knew. From all reports, Mr. Mustang was pretty smart, too. She had no clue how three overly smart alchemists could be so incredibly dumb. She didn’t know why she and Riza been called to a bar called the Blush to find Ed and Al stripped to their boxers and tied up with silk stockings, surrounded by angry looking women in fancy dresses. Mr Mustang fared only a little better.

“Madam, do we even want to know?” Riza asked.

“Help us, Winry,” Ed pleaded, his words slurred.

Winry's eyes narrowed.

“We found these two in our rooms going through our underwear,” one of the girls said, flinging a hand at Al.

“Ed! Al! What were you thinking?”

“He told us too,” Ed pouted.

“I said my sisters were known to carry back information sewn into the lining of their clothing,” Roy protested. “You could have just asked Vanessa if she found out where that book repository you heard about was.”

“You said go find it,” Ed protested woozily.

“I didn't mean this.”

“But you didn't stop them either.” The madam eyed him angrily.

“I didn't think they'd get caught and beaten up by girls,” Roy said.

“Why did you do it?” Winry asked.

“Sounded good at the time,” Al said.

“Because someone gave them alcohol,” Christmas said.

“Just one drink,” Roy protested.

“Yes, the one you invented a Goodbye Motherfucker, to boys who probably never had alcohol before.”

“A goodbye...”

“It's vodka, rum, tequila, gin, Curacao, sweet and sour mix and lime lemon soda,” Roy said sheepishly.

“So yummy,” Al sighed.

“Can I just leave them here?” Winry asked. “Teach them a lesson.”

“If they're like Roy-boy, they never learn,” Christmas replied.

Winry sighed.

TitleNot As Expected
Author- cornerofmadness
Fandom Fullmetal Alchemist
Disclaimer Arakawa owns all
Rating PG
Characters/Pairing Ed, Al
Timeline/Spoilers post FMA 108 so spoilers
Word Count 242
Warning none
Summary Ed didn’t expect this from his brother
Author’s Note written for seatbeltdrivein’s one word prompt of ‘snarky’ as well as this challenge.


Al had been back in his own skin for three months and Ed hadn't the first clue just how snarky his little brother could be. Al was always the polite one, and he truly was. Ed didn't dispute that. Al didn't have too much of a temper unless, of course, someone messed up his stuff. Al was too neat for Ed to bear. Ed was more of a slob. Al definitely had more patience than Ed did, but when it came to being a smartass, Al had him beat.

Al had this way of pushing a barb in so gently, so sugary that it took a moment for someone to realize they had been stung. Ed only wished that he wasn't the target so often, but had to admit it was his own damn fault. Al probably got his porky mouth by listening to him in the first place and Ed liked to push his luck. The one bright spot was when Al turned his snark on Mustang who was just as poor at avoiding the bite as Ed was. Ed wondered if the older alchemist actually enjoyed provoking it. He was a jerk like that. When all was said and done, Ed was just glad to have Al back and when it all felt a little less unreal, Ed was looking forward to battling his brother with words, with the moves Izumi taught them and it would almost be like it used to be way back when.

Title Knight Errant
Author- cornerofmadness
Fandom Fullmetal Alchemist
Disclaimer Arakawa owns all
Rating PG
Characters/Pairing Riza, implied Royai
Timeline/Spoilers set soon after her father’s death
Word Count 264
Warning none
Summary She wants more than just to protect him but it’s a start


Riza knew the clues were all right there in front of her. She had spent years with this man in her house, slowly watching him grow from a coltish boy who didn’t seem to know where all his limbs were going at any one time to the uniformed man she looked up to at her father’s grave. Maybe he wasn’t quite a man yet, not by how her father would have reckoned a man of Roy’s tender years, but he looked older, so sure of himself. She hadn’t thought it wrong sharing her father’s secret with him.

But in the end, that hadn’t been enough for her. She wanted to do more to help him. What else was there left for her to do? The boys in town had always thought she and her father were strange. They hadn’t liked Roy any better. It wasn’t like she was going to stay in her father’s crumbling house waiting for the white knight to rescue her like a fairytale princess. There were no career or marriage opportunities in the bucolic town for her.

When she looked at all the clues, there was only one way it added up. She loved Roy and had for some time. All the formalities she observed around ‘Mr. Mustang’ had been for her father’s sake. She had wanted so much more of their time together, but Roy never seemed to notice, always so head in the clouds, dreaming.

Dreamers got hurt. As she unpacked in her academy dorm room, Riza knew she was the one destined to be his white knight.

Title Discoveries
Author- cornerofmadness
Fandom Fullmetal Alchemist
Disclaimer all rights belong to Ms Arakawa
Rating PG-13
Characters/Pairing Roy, Riza
Timeline/Spoilers set before the series but spoilers for how Roy learned his alchemy
Word Count 208
Warning none
Summary He wasn’t expecting this.


His hands skimmed over her bare, pale flesh. Roy didn’t have a clue where to begin. He leaned close, his warm breath making her skin quiver. What was that word there? He wasn’t sure. He’d already done the simpler work, transferring the array to a piece of paper so he’d have to keep touching Riza less. She had to feel so uncomfortable right now. But the words, he wasn’t so sure. He copied them as dutifully as he could.

“Riza, did he tell you what any of this meant?”

“I can’t help you,” she replied, her voice small and he wasn’t sure that was just because her face was half buried in a pillow.

“It’s all right,” he said, going back to his careful deciphering of the words on her back. The tattoo was glorious and sickening at the same time. How could Master Hawkeye have turned his own daughter into an alchemic journal? Roy couldn’t take the time to ponder the why’s and wherefore’s of that. He needed to concentrate on the task at hand. Only then did he realize this was the first time he’d ever seen a naked woman without being aroused. What that said about his own ambitions sent a shiver up his spine.

Title Lost
Author- cornerofmadness
Fandom Fullmetal Alchemist
Disclaimer all rights belong to Arakawa
Rating PG-13
Characters/Pairing Chris & Roy Mustang
Timeline/Spoilers pre-series, but spoilers for Roy’s upbringing
Word Count 300
Warning implied violence
Summary She was lost when it came to taking care of kids.
Author’s Note This wanted to be oh so much longer


She didn’t have the first clue what to do with a kid. Chris counted herself lucky to get her young nephew down for the night. It seemed easier than she thought it might be. That lasted until she was finally comfortable in her bed, her own sadness checked at the door. His screams had her out of bed and down the hall, her heart beating against her chest as if desperate for freedom, before she even knew what was going on.

Chris slammed open his bedroom door, half expecting the same radicals who had killed her brother and his wife to have followed the one witness to the crime here. Her nephew was curled up on the floor, a puddle of urine around him on the hard wood. Chris scooped the four year old up against her, holding him tight. How foolish of her. How could she not realize that he would have nightmares? He was a baby who would never see his mom and dad again. He had slept three days in a nightmare house with his parents’ dead bodies only to end up dumped in the arms of a woman he only saw once a year at the winter solstice holiday. Roy had to be terrified.

“Sssh, little one,” she whispered, rocking him. “It’s okay.”

“The bad men are coming,” he whimpered.

Chris rubbed his back. “No sweetie, there are no bad men here.” What a lie. Her bar, a front for a spy ring, was filled with dangerous people, many of whom might want her dead as well.

He burrowed against her, a sharp tang of urine wafting up. “Wanna stay with you.”

Chris frowned but couldn’t say no. “We’ll clean you up and you can sleep in my bed.”

He sighed, relaxing.

She wished she could, too.

Title Inauspicious Start
Author- cornerofmadness
Fandom Fullmetal Alchemist
DisclaimerArakawa owns all
Rating PG
Characters/Pairing Winry, Garfiel
Timeline/Spoilers set in Winry’s first days in Rush Valley, no spoilers unless you don’t know who Garfiel is
Word Count 300
Warning canon cross-dressing
Summary Winry isn’t so sure this is where she wants to train
Author’s Note Happy birthday to evil_little_dog. a one sentence longer version is on my Lj


Winry thought Mr. Dominic and Granny had made a terrible mistake. Guilt nibbled at her for her snap judgment about Mr. Garfiel. Okay, so she hadn’t expected him to show up to give her a tour around his shop in a frothy lace dress and more make up than she had ever contemplated wearing. He explained that he normally wouldn’t be so ‘tarted up’ but she had arrived a couple days early and he had a long-standing date that night. While his shop and equipment seemed top notch, Winry had dragged back to her hotel room, heavy hearted.

Her first clue Mr. Dominic had kept his promise and found her the best mentor in all of Rush Valley – next to him of course – was when she returned for her first day of shadowing him at work. Even though the sun had barely crept over the horizon, the waiting room was packed with bodies, patients merrily chatting and comparing injuries and automail. They encouraged one new patient, fearful of what lay ahead, assuring her that she had chosen the best mechanic to be found. A full waiting room was certainly a positive sign.

Garfiel had traded his dress for practical work clothes, but he still had a rhinestone studded barrette in his hair and baby pink lipstick. No one seemed to even notice and, after a few minutes, neither did she. Knowledgeable and quick with the encouragement, along with a snarky comment or two, he proved to be someone she could see herself learning from.

However, it was his actions afterwards that spoke to his character, taking her out to dinner. To her surprise, Paninya met them there.

“I know you’re a long way from home so I thought you’d want to see a familiar face,” Garfiel said.

Winry beamed.

Title The Rehab Blues
Author- cornerofmadness
fandom - Fullmetal Alchemist
Disclaimer Arakawa owns all
Rating PG-13
Characters/Pairing Havoc, Rebecca, Maria, Breda
Timeline/Spoilers set post series, spoilers for all
Word Count 281
Warning none
Summary Sometimes his friends are his worst enemies
Author's Note Written for havocmangawip’s birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY


Havoc glared at the woman across the room from him. That she was Hawkeye's friend should have been his first clue Rebecca Catalina was sadistic. Pair her with Maria Ross and he was doomed. Breda, sitting in the corner, grinning, didn't help matters in the least.

Rebecca wagged Havoc's smokes at him. “Come and get them if you want one.”

“This is cruel.” His hands gripped the wheels of his chair. “I need a smoke, damn it.”

“Then you know what you have to do.” Maria grinned.

Sighing, Havoc transferred his death grip to the parallel bars and heaved himself up. His back and weakened legs protested, electical fire licking up his spine. Dr. Marcoh said that would be his constant companion at least for a while as the restored ruins of his nerves settled back into normalcy. Lurching like one of the monsters he had taken Rebecca to see at the movies, Havoc managed a few steps. “Enough?”

The cigarettes waved again. “Not hardly.”

Cursing, Havoc lifted one leaden foot then the other, making his painful way down the bars.

“I've seen this trick before with a donkey and a carrot,” Breda said.

“Go to hell,” Havoc rasped but he made it to the end then parked his butt against the bar and held out his hand.

Rebecca came over and tucked one cigarette into his shirt pocket. “If you want me to light it you need to get back to the other end.”

Havoc groaned. This woman was going to be the death of him so why was he thinking about asking her on another date? Because he was obviously slated to die at the hands of a woman.

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