Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Pairing: Envy X Ed
Title: For The Love Of... Something Or Other
Obligatory Dialogue: "What did you do with my clothes?"
Word Count: 304
Rating: XXX!!! ...I mean, PG-13, for violence towards the author.
Envy didn't like humans all that much. However, sometimes their weapons intrigued him. And sometimes, one attracts his curiosity to the point where he goes out and steals one just to see how it worked.
Ed was running around in circles, screaming.
"...Oh," Envy nodded in understanding, and lowered the flamethrower.
"I wish you wouldn't do that," Lust grumbled, as she aimed her Talons O Doom™ at Ed, trying to cut his flaming clothes off without giving him a new bellybutton as he stopped, dropped and rolled. “We’re supposed to keep him alive, remember?”
“Meh, he’s cute when he’s on fire and screaming in terribly agony. Besides, it’s as good a way as I can think of to get him naked.”
“Are we sure *I’M* Lust?”
Meanwhile, Al slowly edged towards the charred chibi.
(Random scene: Ed’s foot implanted in Wiccat’s face)
“’Niisan?” the huge tin can queried, poking at his older brother. The smaller boy-
(Ed’s knee in Wiccat’s face)
-lifted his head and glared at the homunculi with the most disgruntled look he could muster up. “You… bastards…” he coughed, a puff of smoke sizzled from his fried hair. “Don’t underestimate me… Compared to Mustang, that was nothing!” Concentrating his remaining strength, the midget-
(Giant transmutated mallet to Wiccat’s head)
-stumbled to his feet and faced his enemies, anticipating the impending fight.
Blood dripped from Envy’s nose.
Al dropped to his knees and bowed, completely humbled.
Ed looked down. “WHAT DID YOU DO WITH MY CLOTHES?!!”
“Woohoo!! It worked!” Envy was practically licking his lips as he closed in on Ed, who gulped and took off running. The homunculus quickly gave chase.
As Al sweat dropped, Gluttony finished slurping in a black pant leg and Lust briefly pondered whether Envy had registered for her name when she wasn’t paying attention.