The Binary Alchemist (binaryalchemist) wrote in fm_alchemist,
The Binary Alchemist

Fic: "You + Me of the Ten Thousand Wars" Chapter 3 "Hand Jive"

Fic: You + Me of the Ten Thousand Wars, Chapter 3: "Hand Jive"
Author: binaryalchemist
Rated: NC 17 this chapter
Genre: Yaoi, dramatic comedy, adventure, AU FMA post Shamballa/Original Series--with a little Ling thrown in for ZING
Pairing: Roy/Ed,  past Roy/Hughes, One-sided Greed!Ling/Ed, other pairings and side het couples.
Spoilers: None
And on the EARTH side of the Gate in the 21st Century....
There is nothing Greed won't do to gain Immortality. There is nothing Ed won't do to keep the Earth safe from the threats of the alchemical war crossing between the worlds. There is nothing Al won't do to protect his family...and there is nothing Roy won't do to reclaim his lost memories of Amestris
The Story So Far: Fresh from their honeymoon, Ed and Roy liven things up with sex games in risky places--which is how Ed ended up in a Singapore jail on charges of prostitution and lewd public behavior. While waiting for Hughes to bail Ed out of the slammer before he becomes the Prom Queen of the cell block, Roy stumbles on a strange news story--about a man named Ling Yao Xing who claims to have discovered the secret of immortality--and is making a fortune on the talk show circut.
A/N: It's been AGES since this was updated--LINKS to the Prologue and the first two chapters under the cut. Enjoy!



LINKS to previous chapters:

Prologue: "If You Meet The Alchemist On The Road, Kill Him!"

Chapter 1: Fullmetal Rent Boy--Messenger of the Gods??

Chapter 2: Edward Elric: The Prom Queen of Cell Block 6



Chapter 3






            You could set your watch by the black haired man in Reception. With clockwork regularity he marked each shift change with an approach to the INFORMATION window, repeating the identical request in a progressively ragged and weary voice.

            “Please—I want to see my husband, Edward Elric—“

            “No homosexual marriage in this country.  If you are not his immediate family or legal counsel, you will have to wait until he has spoken with his counsel. Next!”

            “Excuse me—my husband Edward is in your custody. If I could just---“

            “No homosexual marriage in this country.  If you are not his—“

            “I need to see Edward Elric. He’s my husband. We were married in the United States---“


            “I must see---“

            “No homosexual marriage in this country.  If you are—“

            “—you have to understand—“ 

            “--not his immediate family or—“

            “Listen, what do I have to do to see if he’s---“

            “--legal counsel, you will have to—“

            “—all right? Please, could you tell him I’m here? Tell him---“

            “--wait until he has spoken with his counsel.”

            “---tell him I won’t leave. Can you do that at least?”



            He’d paid the owners of the taverna, plus a generous tip for their ‘inconvience’ to the tune of nearly 200.00 USD—more than enough for skipping out on the bill. Well, Ed’s bill. Roy had paid up and even left a tip for his dolmades and olives and single malt scotch. Ed had knocked back a couple of straight tequila shots and a few of Mustang’s snacks. He’d repeatedly told the police that the debt had been settled to the owner’s satisfaction. “Starvos and Diomedes have no issue with Mr. Elric. The bill’s paid up. They aren’t going to press charges---“

            “--wait until he has spoken with his counsel.”

            “All right, goddamnit. I’ll wait. I’ll wait until hell freezes over. I’m not leaving until he leaves with me.”



            Twenty-four hours after the arrest Roy’s iPhone chirped to announce an incoming text and he snatched it out of his pocket, nearly dropping it on the freshly mopped floor. Hughes. About damn time.





            He thumbed a text to Alphonse….

            **WHR U?**

            **I AM IN MUNICH TRYING FOR FLT TO SINGAPORE HAVE YOU SEEN BRO?** Al was so anal about text abbreviations.

            **NOT SEEN AM WORRIED**


            So Al had called the Cavalry yet again for his worrisome older brother. Damn it.  Roy might have to stand in line to chew Ed out for going a little too far in his little pick-me-up-take-me-home-and-fuck-me-till-my-brains-squirt-out-my-ears game, enticing as it had been. Even Al’s patience had been strained by his brother’s shenanigans. And, Roy grinned faintly to himself, good a fighter as Ed is, I’ve never seen him whip his kid brother’s ass—not once in all these years. Ed may prefer a police-sanctioned caning to facing a pissed off Alphonse…


            He looked like hell.  His hotel was right down the block, but he hadn’t wanted to risk leaving the precinct in the event that he’d miss a chance to speak to Ed. His suit was rumpled from sleeping in it, upright in one of those horribly uncomfortable ass traps that passed for seating in the reception area.  There were no working vending machines and the only coffee pot was, if his nose detected correctly, on the other side of the sliding glass window. He had a roll of glucose tablets in his pocket. That, and sips from the water fountain, would have to suffice, because he was damned if he was going out, not even for a minute. He didn’t even have a Tylenol to soothe the pounding in his head from exhaustion, low blood sugar and flat out rage.

            I’ve made things right. Give him back, you sons of bitches! Hughes, what the hell is taking so long?


            By the second morning one of the receptionists took pity on him and brought him an instant beef bowl, a stack of magazines and a cup of coffee. He almost kissed her. Instead he flashed one of his Roy Mustang Smiles ä that made the otherwise stern faced young officer rather flushed and giddy.       

            Bet they’re laughing their asses off.  He felt ridiculous but he couldn’t stop glaring at his watch every few minutes while thumbing through the magazines, which thankfully weren’t in Malay. Nothing much of interest—more adverts than substance, really—until a book review made him sit up straight. “Ling Yao Xing’s ‘Gateway To Eternity’—Hoax or Holy Man?’

            Ling…Yao. “That’s….now where the hell have I heard that name?” Roy muttered to himself as he scanned the review. A Chinese-born student at the University of Central Florida in Orlando taking a Culinary Arts degree gets expelled for stealing nearly half a kilo of black truffles out of his advisor’s office. Unable to afford the airfare back to Beijing, he was camping out in a cave near Disney World when he underwent a dramatic spiritual transformation. “It was as if the very rocks came alive and began humming, becoming cloudy and then translucent.” Yao described how a “Light Being from between the worlds” emerged from the depths of the cave and proclaimed himself to be Yao’s spiritual guide. ‘Long before you were born, you walked in other worlds and we were as one—I dwelt within your heart and gave you illumination and strength and you became an ageless spiritual warrior and a great king who brought much joy to his people.” After days of fasting, Yao allowed the Light Being to ‘embrace my spirit, upon which all things became clear’.  Yao recorded that from the moment of the ‘embrace’ his fortunes changed radically. “I went from a penniless student to—“

            Before he could read further the door to the lobby swung wide and a rumpled, brown-haired woman dove at him, hugging him fiercely. “Taisa!” She kissed him swiftly on the mouth. Then she grabbed his thumb and jabbed him with a lancet.


            She squeezed a drop of his blood onto the business end of a test strip already loaded in a glucometer. Ten seconds after it beeped she shoved the meter in his face with a growl. “How the hell can I trust you to take care of Edo if you won’t take care of yourself?? Look at this—just look at it!”

            “Thanks for getting here so fast. Where’s Havoc?”

            “Paying the driver—and don’t change the subject. Sixty, Taisa—sixty. What have you been doing—living off your glucose stash??”

            “Uhhh, well—“

            “Goddamn it, don’t do that! All we need is Edo in jail and you flat on your back in a Singapore hospital. Hang on—“ She stuck her head out the door. “Remy? You changed some money, right? Go find a café and—no, wait, we passed a Cheers Mart on Haig Road. Run get some chicken or pork buns—the steamed ones. Ask for baozi. And some juice—thanks, Cher!”

            She would have laid into him again if she hadn’t seen the weariness in his eyes. “I’m sorry. Shouldn’t have jumped on you with both feet like that.” Her hand gently smoothed his hair back from his forehead. “You just look so miserable, and I know you don’t take care of yourself when you get like this.” Her arm slid around his back and his head dropped to her shoulder. “Can’t let anything happen to you,” she whispered into his hair. “It would kill Edo. Kill the rest of us, too.”

            Mustang sighed and closed his eyes. His head felt muzzy and he was nauseated. She was right, of course. Mostly Teddy took after Alphonse in good-natured temperament—but whenever he was neglecting his heath she turned pure Rockbell. Her mother Winry never hesitated to raise hell with him one minute and stuff him with dinner the next—and worse, she’d threaten to write his mother Hikari if he didn’t ‘straighten up and fly right’.

            But, as his mother had quickly pointed out, they wouldn’t give him hell if they didn’t genuinely love him—a love he sincerely returned.  He might not have been demonstrative. He might have said little about it,  but just knowing that Teddy and Havoc were here with Maes and Alphonse on the way took a huge burden of stress off his shoulders.

            “I haven’t seen him, no,” he answered before she could ask. “They keep saying I’m not legally his husband, so I have no right to see him until after he’s spoken with council. Not his husband. Not his family,” he added resentfully.

            “And they’re right—from their point of view. However,” she stood up and smoothed her denim travel skirt, “I am. Let me see what I can do.”

            She tapped on the glass and bowed to the receptionist and holding out her passport. They exchanged a few words and then a door to the side buzzed loudly as it was unlocked. Teddy turned and offered a thumbs-up to Mustang.

            “Tell him I won’t leave until they let him go.”

            She smiled. “As if you would.” She ducked inside and the door banged shut behind her.


            He was dreaming of the boy who became his man…

            The album was sent from London but the first photographs had been pasted in half a world away in Tokyo. It was one of Ed’s cherished possessions, one he kept locked safely in the glass-fronted bookcase in his study.  It was a photograph of a smiling woman in a traditional kimono standing proudly before a fluttering carp banner, holding up a laughing, pale-skinned child with an origami war helmet on his head. Boy’s Day, 1959. Other photos showed the boy being blessed by a Buddhist priest, posing beside a statue of the boy hero Kintaro and greedily shoving a mochi cake in his mouth, sweet red bean paste smeared on his chin. The boy who had once been a general feared for his alchemic prowess and honored for his bravery. A general who had been Ed’s lover. A general Ed had waited a lifetime to find again on Earth. A boy born in Japan on the day the general died in Brigg’s mountain in the Earth year 1957*. A boy whose very name had made Ed’s pulse race madly with hope and fear as soon has Alphonse had told him.

            “Ed….Trisha and Hughes have a new roommate. His name is Taisa…Taisa Roy Mustang…”

            In his dream, Ed was searching frantically through the streets of Tokyo, calling for the boy…and suddenly the Gateway opened before him. “No….Taisa…get back…”

            The boy turned and smiled. “I can’t stay forever like you. Not without the Stone.”

            “No….nooooooo….don’t go!” He moaned, shivering in his bunk.


            It had been 48 hours. Not the worst prison he’d been held in. And not the flimsiest charge to be filed against him. Compared to Liore , this was nothing. At least there was no nutjob priest with a basement full of chimeras waiting to teethe on his automail. “Still gonna get an ass-whippin’.” He glanced around at the grey cinderblock walls. The odor was appalling—sweat, vomit, piss and antiseptic and the stench of fear. All that crap that fat Aussie bastard had told him about S&M freaks wanting to get caned was a load of horseshit. He’d been brought in to the doctor that morning for a cursory exam that brought the reality of caning into unpleasantly sharp focus.

            The doctor had been professional, impassive and frank. He showed some curiosity about Ed’s prosthetic limbs, but only in terms of the difficulty in finding humane restraint methods that would be effective with automail. By the time he was escorted back to his cell he noted a definite churning in his guts.             Hughes, he swore mentally, if you don’t get me out of here before they beat my ass for prostitution, I’m going to have you disbarred.  He gritted his teeth so hard his jaw popped. Disbarred—and…and…banned from Chuck E. Cheese for the rest of your natural life. No more Whack-a-Mole with Elycia.  It was cruel…but he’d manage it. I can tell them he lets his wife peg him with a strap-on…but I’m not supposed to know that little tidbit, heh heh heh. Alphonse may have followed a strict ethical code for the board of the Elric Foundation… in Ed’s mind  it never hurt to have a bit of ….leverage…with the Hired Guns.



            Teddy Elric closed the door behind her, leaned against it, a tell-tale wheeze beginning somewhere high and tight in her chest. Havoc glanced up but didn’t move. Mustang head rested heavily on his shoulder although at the sound of the door Mustang bolted upright and was half-way across the room before Teddy held up a cautioning hand.

            “Calm down. He’s all right. And he’s worried sick about you.


            “But nothing. I’ll tell you everything—if you do as Ed says.”

            Roy clenched his teeth, furious at everyone and no-one, still sick and dizzy. Teddy realized that getting through to him in this condition would require some Cajun intervention. “Remy, did he eat?”

            “Not near enough, ma petite.”

            Teddy bit her lip. This was exactly the kind of shit that Ed and Roy were famous for—neglecting themselves while obsessing over each other. She clasped her friend’s hands tightly. “I’ll tell you—and then Ed wants you to go back to the hotel with Remy. Get a shower, get a good meal and a nap. I’m staying here to wait for Hughes—“

            The hell you are!” Roy barked back angrily. “Listen, you don’t know how rough this place is! Even for a man—“

            They think I’m Ed’s mother!” she hissed back. “Do you honestly thing these people are going to let a prisoner’s mom be harassed? No—they were fine. And Ed’s fine—well, he’s intact and he’s keeping his mouth shut and staying out of trouble—“

            “—for once,” Havoc sighed with relief. “May the saints be praised—“

            “—and the detective will let me wait in the canteen until Hughes gets here—then we can see about bailing him out of here. The Greek guys have dropped the charges and once we have proof of your marriage—“

            “—‘no homosexual marriage in Singapore,’” Roy parroted bitterly. “They keep telling me—“

            “Well, you’re foreign visitors—and it does count in parts of the US where you both have citizenship.  And far as I know, there’s nothing on the books about it being illegal to accept money for sex in a marriage.” She winked at Havoc. “Good as you are, I’ll have to take out a mortgage on the beach house . Worth it, though.”

            A vein on Roy’s forehead began to pulse ominously. “Cut the crap. Tell me what the fuck is going on.”

            Teddy nodded to her husband. “Cher? Could you run get me a Coke and a couple of aspirins?”

            D’accord. And some chocolate—for both of you.” Rising he, laid a comforting hand on Roy’s shoulder. “Taisa, you two talk—and then let’s get some food into you and a few hours sleep, hnn? So your husband won’t worry.”

            Settling down side by side, Teddy curled her fingers around Roy’s and then kissed the fingers of her other hand and laid them against his wrist. “From Edo. No public display of affection. If they didn’t think I was Ed’s mom and you were my son in law I’d be censured for getting as close as we are now.  It’s a cultural taboo that has to be respected—and that’s what got you two into such deep shit. Now,” she dug into her bag for her asthma inhaler, took a deep puff and then sighed. “Let me tell you what kind of trouble Edo is in….”



            “I’ll send your clothes out to the cleaner,” Havoc called through the open bathroom door, stooping to gather up the rumpled evening wear that might have looked elegant a few days ago but now smelled of Unwashed Mustang. The socks in particular were pretty dreadful. The waiting area had less than efficient air conditioning , Roy had been sweating heavily on the dance floor when Ed was dry humping him, and the air at the police station  had reeked of…well, prison smells. Havoc was well acquainted with that stench, having had to bail his father Luc out of the drunk tank more than a few times in the last years of the old man’s life.

            “Toss the shorts and socks—hell, the shirt’s not worth saving either.”

            It was hand tailored in London, straight from Turnbull and Asser. It cost more than Havoc had made in a week in his younger days. Shaking his head, he ran a sink full of cold water and pulled a travel packet of Woolite out of Teddy’s bag. If it was good enough for her bras and panties, he reasoned, it wouldn’t do any harm to wool socks and silk boxers either. No sense being wasteful. “I’ll wash them here,” Havoc called back over his shoulder. “Might need them later.”

            A dripping head popped out from behind the shower curtain. “God…that made me sound like some sort of…I don’t know…yakuza, right?”

            Havoc grinned. “Or a TV evangelist, maybe?”

            “Right then. Ignore me, and thank you. I’ll get Teddy some more laundry soap.”

            “Don’t worry about it. Did you get enough to eat?” The Room Service tray was so clean the plates looked polished. The men had greedily wolfed down their cheeseburgers and fries and demolished nearly a half gallon of strawberry ice cream with hot fudge sauce—Mustang’s idea of comfort food since college.

            “Yeah. Look, if you don’t mind…I need a few minutes to myself, okay?”

            Involuntarily, Havoc’s eyes darted down.

            The shower curtain was tented out somewhere in the approximate vicinity of Mustang’s crotch. His eyes trailed back up. He grinned. Roy colored slightly but looked proud. “All the time you need, mon frere,” Havoc nodded, snapping off a salute. “I’ll just take this stuff downstairs to the cleaners. See you in a bit.”


            For half of a split second—oh, no longer, mind you—Mustang considered asking his in-law for a helping hand. Havoc wouldn’t have minded—wouldn’t even have asked for reciprocation. Havoc was like that. In this life, on this side of the Gate, Havoc’s philosophy tended to be that whatever he could do to help pull the broken back together and heal the sprit was fine with him. Besides, Roy grinned inwardly, he’d have told Teddy and she’d have really gotten off on the idea and she’d probably haul him back to their room and  fuck him into a coma. Who says there’s no such thing as equivalent exchange?

            Leaning back against the slick tile wall he closed his eyes and closed his fist. Tight…so tight, like his husband. Goddamn it…even if Havoc had offered a helping hand it wasn’t what his body was demanding. Over a lifetime he’d sampled his share of pleasures in this word—some of those carnal adventures with Maes back in college had actually landed him in the police report when the campus cups had raided their apartment and found Roy getting jack-hammered by ten solid inches of prime American beef and screaming in Japanese—iku!Ikuuuuuu!!! Roy had come so hard the investigating officer had to wipe his mirrored sunglasses and the front of his shirt. 

            That had been fun, damn it…but Ed had ruined him for any other man. Why the hell IS that? he wondered, squirting a generous handful of the hotel’s shampoo into his hand as lube. If you want to get technical…I suppose Al is the handsomer man. He’s got a great body and that face…those eyes… But he had never wanted Alphonse, not even in a fleeting fantasy.

            “…I have no name,” Ed had whispered hotly in his ear. “I’m nobody you know. No one you will ever see again…and I am everything you desire.” 


Taisa wanted to pound away mercilessly, anything to dissolve at least some of this terrible pent-up hunger since Ed had teased him without mercy in the taverna two days ago. But…no…no. You’re here…with me….we’ve just left Thanatopsis after you danced for me…sweat shimmering on your belly and your cock straining against sweaty leather…sweat on your cheeks…tang of sweat and salt and lust on your skin…


            His hand tightened. “…I’m down on my knees for you, spread wide, so tight…”


            Your hair is plastered to your shoulders. You bend for me, one foot up on the rim of the tub…god, those cheeks. High and tight and flushed from the heat of the water pounding against your back…a rivulet trickles down that smooth cleft, and when you spread yourself for me I stare in fascination as your opening begins to twitch, teased by the tiny stream that licks at you…I lean in and catch the droplets with my tongue…”Fuuuuuck….ohh, Fuck yeah!”


            “I have no name. Take me. Fill me up…you like it hard…dirty and rough tonight. This isn’t about love. This is about heat and need and my body clenched so tight around your cock you’ll scream your lover’s name when you come inside me..”


            The tip of his finger slid under the velvety foreskin. Your tongue…yes…just like that..uuhhhuhhhhh. That’s it…slip your tongue inside, under my skin…taste those first bitter drops…you make me this hard, Edowado…I want your tongue in my slit—flick it…suck it good, you bastard…ohhh…GOD yes…

            The only name he cried was Ed’s. He had molded his heart to fit the man he’d vowed to spend his life with. That little sex game—the role-playing in the taverna that lead to all this bullshit, led to his man being socked away for lewd behavior…that was nothing compared to the heat between them


            Goddamn…it was too fucking much.

            Pressing himself into the corner of the shower stall he ravaged his own fists. Thighs spread, knees shaking, two hands clenching his cock, wishing to god he had a third hand to stroke his opening—imagined Ed’s clever fingers dripping with lube, corkscrewing and strumming against that place that made the color bleed out of his vision.

“No one will ever know how hard you are…how wet…” Ed’s voice was soft. Hot….hypnotic. “How badly you want me down on my knees, my tongue sliding inside you, my hands—“

Ed…feel me…right now. I’m with you in the dark…in that cell…wherever you are…you’re so hard…you’re gonna come with me…so…goddamned…tiiiightttttt



            The door swung open. “ROY! How goes it??”

            Hughes never knew what hit him…..


………………………TO BE CONTINUED…………

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