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28 February 2010 @ 09:56 pm
Fic: "Only Us"  

Fic: “Only Us”

By binaryalchemist 

Rating: NC-17—short and intense, but hardly a PWP…

Pairing: Ed and Roy

Even the strongest man can be broken from the inside when the distance and the longing become too much to bear…

     Do you understand? Can you get it through your head that I need to lose control? Do you have any idea what an act of trust it is to ask—to beg for this?

      Hurry. Oh god, hurry. Find a way to tear between the worlds and touch me again…

                “….I hear you calling me/home from the Great Escape…

                The further on I go—ohhh, the less I know

                I can find—

                Only us—breathing

                Only us—sleeping

                Only us—dreaming

                --friend or foe, there’s only Us…”

                ---Peter Gabriel, “Only Us”
*******Feedback Gratefully Appreciated**********

 

Only Us

By The Binary Alchemist

 

 

                It hurts.

                Not just that kind of pain. It hurts in my chest and the insides of my arms and against the side of my neck and low in my belly.

                All the places where you fit.

                You’re a world away but I can taste you. Salt, sweat, semen and that acrid what-do-you-call-it on your fingers from snapping and blowing shit up. I can smell you on the sheets you’ve never slept in. When things get really bad I tell myself you just got up to take a piss or whatever. It helps me get back to sleep. That, and the brandy.

                I need your cock as much as I need your heart tonight. Fuck pride. Fuck my ego. Bend me. Pin my ankles behind my ears—you know I can do that for you. You don’t even need to tie me—although if your aiguillette is handy it’ll do.  I want your tongue. I want it, need it, in every place I can imagine—and every place I can’t.

                Do you understand? Can you get it through your goddamned head that I need to lose control? Do you have any idea what an act of trust it is to ask—to beg for this?

                Something profound has wiped every last trace of mockery off your lips, and there’s a tremor in your hands as they trace a landscape of scar tissue and those stainless steel anchors screwed fast into the bones of my body. You told me once that it made you nauseous to think of them doing that to me—a child. Holes drilled in my bones. Holes ripped through my flesh and muscle. Great, gaping wounds in my heart where my mother and brother used to live. That’s why you hesitate---one more injury. One more piercing You want to spare me. You keep thinking of the hollow-eye’d child in the wheelchair you met so long ago.

                Don’t you understand me, Roy? It’s a kind of soul-deep surgery. A rending—a piercing that heals. Even the pain is good. It’s proof that you listen to me—that behind the curses and grunts and panting, you grasp that  the pain is the price of being  broken down—being deconstructed—and reformed with every stroke. With each touch you tear me down, cell by cell, element by element, down to the base components and atoms that knitted themselves together to form this body that takes you in, clenches tight and refuses to give you up until I’ve wrung every last drop from you and there’s a flashfire of brightness behind your eyes and you bite down hard hard hard and leave a bruise that I will touch over and over until it fades—or until you take me again.

                Fill me. Take me to pieces. Let me rail. Let me curse and claw your back and bite at your nipples. Let me shudder and buck up to meet you, hip to hip. I want to hear those soft, moist sounds of flesh against flesh into flesh into soul into brightness…into Us.

                Hurry. Oh god, hurry. Find a way to tear between the worlds and touch me again…

                I hear you calling me/home from the Great Escape…

                The further on I go—ohhh, the less I know

                I can find—

                Only us—breathing

                Only us—sleeping

                Only us—dreaming

                --friend or foe, there’s only Us…

                ---Peter Gabriel, “Only Us”


 
 
mochalatt3: Roy Flamesmochalatt3 on March 1st, 2010 04:09 am (UTC)
I liked this a lot. There is a very interesting, raw quality to the style of this piece.

Something profound has wiped every last trace of mockery off your lips, and there’s a tremor in your hands as they trace a landscape of scar tissue and those stainless steel anchors screwed fast into the bones of my body.

I loved this sentence &hearts The emotional and physical elements tie together really well in this description.
The Binary Alchemist: USbinaryalchemist on March 2nd, 2010 12:22 am (UTC)
I'm so glad you liked it--it was one of those fics that sort of tore its way out and demanded to be written down, inspired by the amazing music of Peter Gabriel.
amethyst_koneko: My fandom is Roy Mustangamethyst_koneko on March 1st, 2010 04:58 am (UTC)
wow. The raw pain and aching need in here is just...wow. Truly I have never seen Ed this desperate, this needy, this anguished before. awesome fic! very intense! :)
The Binary Alchemist: USbinaryalchemist on March 2nd, 2010 12:24 am (UTC)
I swear, it was like I was feeling someone else's pain as I wrote this--I visualized him alone in that tiny bed in Munich,the brandy and the loneliness and the grief and desire tearing down his resistance and bravado...I'm really honored that you liked it!