The Binary Alchemist (binaryalchemist) wrote in fm_alchemist,
The Binary Alchemist

FMA Music: "The Night Roy Burned the Whorehouse Down"

FMA Music: "The Night Roy Burned the Whorehouse Down"
Written (and recorded  by) binaryalchemist  (ttto "The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down", by Robbie Robertson)
Dedicated to malka2009  for her oustanding drabble "Postbellum" and to all fans of Mrs Christmas and her little boy, Roy.

Soon as I read Chapter 87 I --had-- to write a speculative song about Roy's childhood before coming to study with his master. Originally it was a "Brady Bunch Theme" parody, but it turned into something better, I hope! This was recorded at GaFilk  Con in Atlanta in 2009---and I'm still waiting for the MP3 file from the engineer....maybe we'll re-record it at Anime Weekend Atlanta...
Type your cut contents here


(TTTO “The Night They Drove Ol’ Dixie Down” by Robbie Robertson)

By Aunty Binary

(recorded at GaFilk 2009, Atlanta)



Chris Mustang is my name

I’m a madame of shady fame—

I take pride in my work and I don’t bow my head to shame

Best thing I ever did—I adopted an orphaned kid

He became my pride and joy

But no one told me about the talents he could employ…


The night Roy burned the whorehouse down—

The fire alarms were ringin’

The night Roy burned the whorehouse down—

The clientele started screamin’

They said, “We oughta kill that kid—you can’t defend the thing he just did”


Roy was lonely and sad

He’d lost both his mom and dad—

Brought him into the Palace and at first all my girls were glad

It was a mystery—a kid obsessed with alchemy

A matchbox was his favorite toy

And every time the stove went out—we’d just send for Roy…




One night in the month of June

When the garden was all in bloom

All the johns just ran for their lives when the outhouses went “KABOOM!”

Roy got blown into the trees

He had singed his clothes and skinned his knees

I swear there was triumph in his eye

When he declared “That’s not too bad for a kid’s first try…”




You know scandal travels fast

And the housewives were all enraged

To see their husband’s behinds on the next “Central Times” front page

Don’t know what I’m gonna do, ‘cause I’ve yelled until my face turned blue

To protect our lives and sanity

I’m gonna ship him off to study flame alchemy….








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