Staunch Heliocentrist (annepackrat) wrote in fm_alchemist,
Staunch Heliocentrist

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Fanfic - Not Quite Happily Ever After 1

Title: Not Quite Happily Ever After - Beware the Middle Names
Author: annepackrat
Rating: PG-13 or T
Pairings: Roy / Riza, Royai
Warnings: Takes place several years after the movie. Profanity.
Disclaimer: Fullmetal Alchemist and its attendant characters and settings are created by Hiromu Arakawa and are distributed by Square-Enix, Funimation and Viz. Maes and Nicole Mustang are my original creations.

Summary: Marriage and family present a whole new set of challenges for Roy Mustang and Riza Hawkeye. Series of loosely interconnected one-shots.

Before his marriage, Roy Mustang would do almost anything to avoid doing work on a Friday, (seeing as how technically Friday was construed as part of the weekend, and really, who wants to work on a weekend anyhow?), Of course, it also helped that his faithful bodyguard and taskmaster was off on Fridays, thus giving him leave to laze around without fear of bullets.

But after the invasion from across the Gate, something had changed. Yes, he still hated doing paperwork, and yes, Friday was still his taskmaster's day off, but like clockwork, the general could now be found every Friday morning working diligently at his desk. His one good eye skimmed back and forth over the reports, with only the occasional note drawn in the margin breaking the jumble of words and diagrams.

Roy Mustang worked steadily from when he arrived, throughout the morning coffee break and on into the afternoon. Only then was he allowed to stop, since he had his weekly lunch date to prepare for.


After checking the clock on his desk and seeing it was exactly a minute to three, he put down his pen and waited. At precisely three there was a sudden flurry of footsteps and laughter in the outer office. Roy smiled knowingly, his wife was never a single minute late, not even on her days off.

A minute later the door to his office opened. A small auburn-haired blur burst into his office, cried "Daddy!" and launched itself into the general's arms. Roy grunted as his four-year-old daughter landed in his lap, just narrowly missing his groin.

"Careful, there, Nicole!" he said, moving the little girl to a safer position. "If you're not a little more cautious when you do that then mommy and I might not be able to give you anymore brothers and sisters." He glanced at his wife and was not surprised to see the usual disapproving frown on her face belied by amusement glinting in her rust-colored eyes.

"And just when were you going to talk to me about these new siblings, Roy Mustang?" Riza asked, her voice its usual mixture of amusement and exasperation.

Roy chuckled and stood, hefting his daughter easily. He leaned over his daughter's head and kissed his wife on the cheek. "I was speaking hypothetically."

Riza opened her mouth to reply, but was interrupted by her daughter chiming in. "I want a sister," Nicole said matter-of-factly, "No more brothers."

A bout of hysterical laughter and half-hearted cries for stoppage erupted from the outer office. Rolling his eyes, Roy handed off his daughter to Riza and stepped out into the outer room.

Breda held a young blond-haired boy in a headlock while Havoc was methodically tickling the child. Roy cleared his throat and both officers looked back at the general guiltily. Havoc stopped tickling, but Breda didn't let the boy go.

Sighing, Roy fixed a stern gaze on his son, "What did you do now, Maes?"

"Nothing!" the boy cried, but any further words were cut off by Breda's hand clamping over his mouth.

"Your son," Breda replied, with a slight smile on his face, "Thought it necessary to inform Havoc and I that our personal hygiene is lacking and that because of that we smell like human excrement."

Maes managed to pull Breda's hand away from his mouth. "All I said is that they and this room smell like shi-" Fortunately, Breda managed to clamp his hand down on the boy's mouth before said mouth got its owner in even deeper trouble.

"MAES EDWARD MUSTANG!" yelled Riza Hawkeye in a tone that caused her son to turn pale and the older men to flinch. "Have you been using profanity again?"

Looking around for support from the others Maes found none. Breda and Havoc had sympathetic looks on their faces, but no sympathy came from his family. His father had a smirk on his face, and his little sister was sticking her tongue out at him. Finally he looked up into the stern gaze of his mother and his head dropped. "Yes'm," he muttered.

Riza put down her daughter and walked over to her son. Breda released the boy from his headlock. She put her hand on Maes' head. "Look at me, young man," Riza ordered. Reluctantly Maes did so. "Now what have I told you about using profanity?"

The boy rubbed his nose, but didn't look away from his mother. "You said not to."

"And why is that?" she prodded.

His brow furrowed as Maes struggled to remember his mother's words. "Cuz 'it's disgusting, filthy language that should never be used in polite company, and to use it anywhere else is a mark of low intelligence."

"Good," Riza answered, satisfied with her son's response. She nodded and shifted her hand from his head to his shoulder, turning her son around to face the soldiers behind him. "Now apologize to Havoc and Breda."

Maes rubbed his nose again and looked at the ground. "I'm sorry I said you guys smelled like poo."

Havoc grinned and ruffled the boy's hair. "It's okay, kiddo!" he said. He leaned in to the boy and whispered dramatically, "You know sometimes the smell near his desk makes me think Breda spent his break rolling around in Hayate's crap."

"JEAN ARCHIBALD HAVOC!" Riza yelled, shooting the smoker a look of disbelief "Are you the one who's been teaching Maes those words?"

The cigarette dropped out of Havoc's mouth and he turned pale. "Wait, Hawkeye, I didn't..."

Sensing it was a good time to exit, Roy pulled his son away from Havoc and guided both his children toward the door. Behind him, Riza was launching into full lecture mode. "Let's go on ahead to the cafeteria. Mom's going to be awhile."

Nicole stopped in the hall and looked up at her father. "Is Uncle Jean in trouble?"

Chuckling, Roy answered, "Yes, but don't worry, he's used to it."

Maes frowned and looked up at Roy. "That's not really fair though, Dad, since you're the one who taught us those words!"

Eyes going wide, the general looked around to make sure his lovely wife hadn't heard what Maes said. Thankfully, she seemed fully engrossed in dressing down the unlucky Havoc. Roy crouched down and put an arm around each of his children. "Yes, I did, but let's just keep that a secret from Mom, okay?"

Nicole nodded, but Maes narrowed his eyes, "Why can't we tell, Mom?"

Roy smiled ruefully, "Because if your mother knew I taught you those words then you guys will never be getting more siblings."

Author's Indulgence

This is probably going to end up as a series of loosely interconnected one-shots and drabbles about Roy, Riza and their family after the movie. I'm not making any promises with this series, it's mainly just something I can update when I'm bored or blocked.

Thanks to the cast, crew and creators of the FMA manga and anime.
Thanks to my husband despite his perhaps unhealthy fascination with soccer.
Thanks to those who leave comments, feedback or reviews. I appreciate it.

And thanks to you for reading.

-------------- Anne Packrat (November 10, 2007)

Thank you for reading.

Crossposted to royai, fm_alchemist and my own journal.
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