1) Read the warnings and respond appropriately; they are there for a reason.
2) Any advice or critique is appreciated. I know there are some areas where it could use a hand, and if you can help, please do, through comments or email.
EDIT: Cross-posted to the fm-yaoi comm.
Title: Quintessence of Dust
Rating: PWP lemon NC-17+ (Warnings: yaoi, nonconsensual/rape, bondage, breath-control, sadism, psychological torture, language)
Ed lay on his belly, his head propped up by the hand of his good arm, steadfastly ignoring Winly's not-very-repressed irritation as she noisily rummaged through her toolbox.
"I can't believe you broke it again!" she cried once more, and he rolled his eyes, then cringed almost instinctively as she sauntered over to the bed with a large screwdriver in one hand and her trademark wrench in the other. "Ed, are you listening to me? You break your arm one more time..."
"Yes, Winly," he muttered obediently, only the faintest trace of mulishness coloring his words.
Winly sighed and shook her head. "You know what to do, Fullmetal boy."
Ed repeated her sigh and did his best to extend his automail arm; she pulled it into position, and with a wicked grin that Ed caught a moment too late, stepped up onto the bed and sat down on his back.
"What are you doing?" He craned his neck to peer back at her, but Winly was already focused on his arm, screwdriver in hand.
"Well," there was the faint scrape of metal on metal as she began her work, "if you're going to lay down, I need to be here so that I can actually get to everything I need to. Fortunately, the problem seems to be in your shoulder..."
Ed shrugged with his other shoulder and stared off into space, content to let Winly commune with the automail in silence. Her hair swept over his back as she bent into her work; her weight was negligible and almost comforting, and the strong muscles of her legs gripped his torso uncompromisingly. He felt the warmth of a blush creep across his face, fighting the urge to shift uncomfortably under her. He scowled at the wall and attempting to ignore his body's hormonal urgings.
"Actually..." Ed felt her shift upright and his mind's eye could see the look on her face as she contemplated his upper back. His face flushed a shade deeper and his brows furrowed. "...could you put your other arm out, too? I want to see how much you've grown."
"I thought we went through this last time." This time Ed did roll his eyes.
"Stop whining, Edward," Winly responded, her voice firm but sweet. Her breath caused a few strands of hair to move against his neck, and he licked his lips nervously.
Realizing once more that his future was quite literally in her hands and that it was better to get out of this compromising position quickly, he extended the other arm, letting his face fall into the blankets. "Alright, alright."
Winly giggled, and something about the quality of it caught Ed's attention and prickled his skin. His head snapped up and he glanced over his shoulder just in time to catch the edge of the wrench with his temple.
Ed tried to groan as he slowly became aware of the rock-star of pain-- fur collar, sunglasses, and all-- stomping to bass guitars and drums in the side of his head; the pyrotechnics shooting across the stage of his brain were spectacular... a show Roy Mustang would have applauded. He couldn't seem to be able to see much beyond this strange mental imagery, and with effort he assessed that this was because his eyes were closed. He began to pry them open, feeling disoriented and confused.
What happened...? Winly hit me...again But I hadn't done anything. What the fu...?
That's not Winly.
"...Hagane no ochibi-san!"
Ed's eyes snapped open in a furious glare, and he jerked himself up to face his enemy...or rather, he tried to. He found himself in a helpless and humiliating position, short both automail limbs and struggling against a series of ropes entangling his limbs and torso. His good arm and leg were lashed down by wrist and ankle to the bedposts, as was the stump of his left leg; in lieu of his right arm, however, a loop of rope encircled his throat-- tightened by his sudden movement, it pulled his head to one side and cut his breath down to rasping pants. A bolt of pain shot through his head, and he bit his lip. He could feel another pair of ropes crossing his bare chest and stomach.
Envy stood at the foot of the bed, surveying his work with a pleased grin and with Winly's wrench still in hand. He smacked the tool into his palm twice. "We're gonna have some fun, you and I," he said, far too happily for Ed's comfort. "We're gonna play a game or two."
"What have you done with Winly?" Ed demanded, pulling at the ropes again, his eyes focused on the homunculus. He bared his teeth in a feral snarl.
Envy tapped the wrench against his cheek thoughtfully, frowning in consideration. "Nothing. Why, do you think I should?" He laughed then, a high-pitched, almost childish sound that raised the fine hairs on Ed's neck. "Well, maybe I will...when I'm finished here." He stepped toward his captive's head, the thick carpet rendering him as silent as a stalking panther. "Or maybe Gluttony could find a use for her..." Ed tensed, his one hand twisting into the rope, remaining silent. He would not rise to the bait...but he fantasized fervently about ripping the arrogantly confident expression from the Sin's face.
Envy reached down and brushed Ed's golden hair from his face, tucking it behind his ear. Ed's teeth snapped shut with a hollow click, and Envy chuckled, touching the alchemist's nose quickly. "No biting, ochibi-san, or I'll gag you as well. You can scream just as well either way, so it doesn't matter to me." The placidly pleased smile did not change as the homunculus hefted the wrench and swung.
The blow cracked Ed's cheekbone, an audible noise in the quiet room, and he felt and tasted the blood that filled his mouth. More trickled in a thin rivulet down into his ringing ear. The rope around his throat had tightened and he gasped for breath, knocked dizzy; a spark of fear danced through his stomach, and he instinctively tried to reach for the coarse hemp cutting off his air. He sucked in a quick breath as the cord around his wrist slid, ripping flesh and raising a raw friction burn, then coughed, bloody saliva coating his lips. He was vaguely aware of the homunculus stroking his hair again.
Envy had dropped the wrench after that final strike, and knelt down on the floor, his fingers pulling at the tie that held the alchemist's hair in its mostly neat braid. The string fell to the floor, and the semi-gloved, long fingered hands swept through the thick, richly colored strands, shaking in eagerness.
Ed turned his head carefully, feeling the world spin in an interlocking series irregular, rocking orbits, and eased his body closer to the right bedpost. The noose slackened, and he drew in a deep breath that burned like acid. He attempted to focus. I've been through worse... Things have been worse. A memory slipped through his mind-- freezing cold and the smell of blood, the small-animal terror of being hunted... Al went out hours ago. What if...? His fear increased, not just for himself now, but for his brother as well. He shuddered and opened his eyes, and found himself face to face with his enemy.
Envy's mouth twitched into the mockery of a smile, and his hands fell still for a moment. Something about his manner filled Ed with disquiet, and he hid his unease behind his usual false bravado, the words dripping from his mouth casually and disdainfully: "What the hell are you looking at, ya bastard?"
The Sin resumed petting him, arraying his hair in a golden corona around his head. Envy was silent, almost thoughtful seeming, but the trembling of his hands betrayed his intensity, and Ed's breath faltered briefly as he suddenly understood the covetous gleam in the homunculus's eyes. "You can't--"
"You are human, Edward Elric; I am not." Envy cut him off calmly, his thumb sweeping gently across the swollen side of his face. He stuck the bloodied digit in his mouth and sucked it clean, his gaze not leaving his captive's. "You are an alchemist; I cannot be." He stood up and reached out again, his fingers skittering along Ed's chest lightly; the young alchemist bit back a startled cry-- the hand that touched him was cool; not warm as flesh should be. "You remember the smell of your mother's breath as she read to you at night, her arms around you; you know the feeling of satisfaction when you have solved a problem or done something right... you know what it is to be you and have the experience of being content with that.
"I hate you for all that you have had and not appreciated!" Envy hissed, gripping Ed's jaw like a chilled vice. He leaned in and Ed flinched back, wrinkling his face in pain. The homunculus's hand caused pain to arc between his broken cheek and his bruised temple like electricity between the poles of a Jacob's ladder. "I hate you...and yet..." The final word was a puff of breath against Ed's face, and Envy's dark hair fell like a curtain around his head, blocking the pale autumn sunlight that filled the room.
Ed snarled, his lips pulling back in a grimace of contempt, disgust, and fear. "Back off!" he growled between his clenched teeth. He turned his head further to the right: that eye was swollen almost completely shut-- a vulnerable blind spot. "I said, get out of my face, damn you!" He thrashed against his bonds impotently, succeeding only in tightening the noose once more.
"Don't get so excited, ochibi-san," Envy murmured, settling down on the edge of the bed. "Not yet, anyway." His tongue flicked across the alchemist's lips, tasting the bloody foam that had gathered there; Ed tried to jerk his head away, panting for breath like a rabbit in a snare.
"Fuck you..." he managed, swallowing another mouthful of blood and sucking in precious air. His very soul seethed in silent fury at his helplessness and indignity of his position; he strained at the ropes once again, hoping beyond hope to feel some slack.
Envy licked him again, making him shiver in revulsion. "That's the idea," the Sin agreed, pressing his mouth to Ed's briefly.
Ed's one good eye widened and he forgot to breathe for a second, the homunculus's words hitting him hard in the solar plexus; he didn't even struggle against the cool kiss as his mind grasped the degradation, the insult and pain, inherent in this threat and ran with it. "No..." The whimpered word slipped out as Envy withdrew, and Ed hated himself for it. He ground his teeth together, determined not to make that mistake again.
Envy smiled, stroking his finger along his captive's face and down to his throat, outlining the tender rope-burns there. "Oh, yes. I cannot kill you yet, but that doesn't mean that I can't amuse myself by breaking you." A blue-white sparkle rippled down his palm and wrists, then his chest and beyond Ed's limited vision, leaving the Sin devoid of clothing.
Ed struggled not to shudder in horror of the delight and eagerness apparent in Envy's tone and expression. "Never," he swore vehemently, his words becoming slurred as more of his face swelled from his injuries. "You miserable scum...not even human...and you think you can break me! I'd..." No, not "I'd like to see you try"...! "If I wasn't tied to this bed, I'd-- !"
"Hmm." Envy smirked, and stood up, wandering over toward the-- No, no, no, not the toolbox! Too many dangerous items in there... Ed craned his neck, trying to see what the Sin was doing, assessing in the process that yes, Envy was very naked and that he himself was concussed and tied to a bed. He felt a drop of sweat run through his hair. Things aren't looking so good... A deux ex machina style appearance of Roy or Al or, well, just about other human being would be highly appreciated right now. Ed allowed himself a mental plea that was as close to prayer as he got, and twisted his sore wrist and ankle in the loops of rope, checking once again for even a millimeter of give. He concentrated on not listening to the off-tune humming and banging noises of the homunculus's inventorying of Winly's tools.
"Ah, good!" Envy padded back over to the bed and Ed felt his brows raise as he caught a glimpse of the shining object in hand. "Now..." He ran his hand down Ed's waist, the tips of his fingers dipping under the waistband of his pants and tugging it up enough to wedge the scissors underneath. He resumed humming in time to the rhythm of the blades meeting and slicing through the black leather, while Ed glared and did not move for fear of encouraging a more violent use of the scissors. Envy's other hand peeled the material back, stroking the revealed damp flesh; Ed tried to jerk his leg away futilely, and felt a ribbon of blood wind down his heel to drip onto the floor.
"Goddamm pervert," Ed cussed under his breath as what was left of his pants was stripped from him. "Sadist..." He raised his voice. "Something like you-- you'll never be human, not with a Philosopher's Stone, not with all the alchemy in the world... All the creation of the Stone will do is cover my hands with as much blood as is on yours, and we will all be cursed." He barked a short, harsh laugh, then inhaled sharply as Envy dug his fingernails into his inside upper thigh.
"Watch that runaway tongue, ochibi-san," he purred ferally, and hopped up onto the bed to crouch between Ed's spread legs like a leering medieval gargoyle, his eyes narrow and focused. "You wouldn't want it to get you into more trouble than you are already in, now would you?" He leaned forward and placed his hands on either side of Ed's chest, slinking toward his face like a cat, occasionally dipping his face down to tongue a passing portion of Ed's anatomy.
The alchemist squirmed, feeling his stomach twist as though he'd swallowed live serpents; the homunculus's nearness and light touches made him almost claustrophobic-- gripped by the feeling of overwhelming, impending wrongness; a sense of being trapped in a train headed for a dead-end precipice... Sweat dribbled down his chin and burned as it hit the sensitive flesh torn by the noose. He remembered the fear and sudden sweeping panic that had washed over a young, over-confident boy watching a forbidden alchemical reaction go dreadfully, horribly wrong, and suddenly the room was stifling; I can't breathe! He felt the sleek, masculine body slide against his... the lean torso, elegantly muscled; the meeting of vulnerable soft bellies; the delicate brushing of firmer flesh lower, a bare touch of wetness and heat against his thigh. "No! No! No!" Ed flung himself against the ropes as an animal fights the steel trap-- no sense or reason, just pure adrenaline-fueled terror. "Stop!"
Envy paused and touched his lips to Ed's again, a tender gesture, and pushed his chest down with one graceful hand. "Shhh...Ed-chan..." His other hand slipped across his groin, teasingly brushing the golden curls there, drawing strangled noises from Ed. "Don't you understand yet? The sins of the father cannot go unpunished..." the hand worked its way lower, it's accompanying fingers exploring interesting nooks and crannies, "...but will be visited upon the next generation." A single digit swirled across sensitive flesh then pushed insistently inward.
Ed hissed and writhed against the blankets, a flush blazing across his face. Envy chuckled, sweeping his long locks across the alchemist's stomach playfully. "But don't think that's all there is to this, Ed-chan... It is personal, as well. Very, very personal."
Ed gritted his teeth. "I hope..." He coughed and licked his lips. "I hope you have a friendly run in with a certain Ishbalite in your future...and I hope I get to watch."
Envy clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth, shaking his head. "Still trying to be smart, ne?" He leaned in to whisper this in his captive's ear, tracing the pink shell of cartilage with his nose and lips, nipping at the lobe.
Ed tried to growl defiantly at the soft strands of hair that brushed his face, at the scent that fell like mist around him, the press of the slightly cooler body against his, but it came from his mouth torn and broken-- more of a despairing, frustrated whine. His cheek throbbed dully as he flushed, and he moistened his lips with a dry tongue, licking dark hairs into his mouth. Thisisn'thappening, ohgodohgod, this isn't...thisisn'tthisisn't... No!
The homunculus worked down to Ed's shoulder, tremblingly and growing more urgent, his mouth stealing the warmth from the skin of the human below him. The hand between his legs twisted and shoved forward, forcing the young alchemist to arch up from the bed in pain, tears beginning to stream from his eyes, a vicious torrent of expletives falling from him like broken birds. Envy's other hand traced the muscles of his chest, then slid up to cradle Ed's bruised face against his. Ed paid no attention to the harsh prickle of the tightening noose against his throat now as he writhed against the pain of his violation.
"Ed-chan," Envy breathed the name, tasting the salt of the human's tears on his lips. He shifted, pulling his hand free of Ed's body; he felt the blonde heave a shaking sigh of relief and felt some of the high-wire tension ease. He ran the hand over Ed's hip, and around to push up at the small of his back, settling himself in the valley between his bound legs. He nuzzled his face against the sweaty, tear-streaked side of Ed's face and into the golden tangle of his hair. "This is going to hurt."
Ed drew in a breath, still willing to attempt a sharp retort, when he felt the hard press of the Sin's arousal grind against the tender, aching area between his legs. "No..." he said it as a warning, despite being helpless and already beginning to feel the roll of his hips forward.
Friction slowed the process down to a simple, agonizing display of brute strength-- on par with an attempt to pound a screw into a wall with a hammer-- and Ed couldn't hold back his screams, ragged with pain. His back arched in instinctive protest, driving him up against the body of his enemy, and he shook violently as though in shock. His foot and hand scrabbled for a grip on the rope, the bedpost, anything to try to pull away from the torturous sensation caused by skin and muscle tearing under blunt force.
There was a pause, and then the burning, liquid acid of Envy's withdrawal before another thrust-- slick with blood-- rocked Ed back against the bed. He squeezed his eyes shut, involuntary tears pouring from them still and sticking Envy's dark hair to his cheeks. He turned his face against the inhuman creature ravaging him, and stifled a sobbing moan by biting the curve of his neck and shoulder, biting until he was sure the blood in his mouth was not his. The homunculus moaned, passion deepening his voice; one of his hands lifted to twist in Ed's hair and the other supported his weight as he ground down into the alchemist, beginning to play this game in earnest.
Ed felt an electric tingling sweep down him wherever their bodies met and the form of the man above him grew heavier; he realized that it was the Sin morphing once again. What the hell...? The tingle flowed along his legs and along the form thrusting between them, and the alchemist bit down harder for a moment before raising his head to hiss, "Bigger is not better, you bastard!" Envy chuckled with new vocal chords and rubbed a coarse patch of facial hair against his ear, causing Ed to freeze briefly in the horror of recognition.
"You son of a bitch," he spat, finding his voice. He bucked beneath Envy in fury, straining at the ropes, and the Sin laughed as he rode Ed like an unbroken and unruly horse, delighted by the reaction. "Hughes was like a father to me, you sick fucking goddamned-- !"
"Ah...how sweet," Envy crooned in the dead man's voice, steadily slamming his hips into Ed's thighs and driving himself into the blood-slicked orifice. He shifted again, not slowing his rhythm. "This better?"
Ed glared up at him, his eye hard and hateful, another torrent of tears spilling down his cheek into his hair and ear. "I'm going to kill you." It seemed that there was little of his body that did not hurt-- from the dull ache of his battered head and face to the sweat-irritated rope burns caressing his throat, ankle, wrist; his voice, though confident, was tired and heavily slurred.
Envy smirked down at him with Roy Mustang's countenance, then licked his lips lasciviously. "You ever think..." His breath caught and his face blushed faintly, distracted by the pleasure of Ed's anger and the squeezing tension of his delicious, youthful body, and he forced himself to slow down. "You even think your colonel thinks of you this way? Admires your strength, your ability, yes, as a fellow soldier...but also lets his eyes trail down your smooth back the curve of your ass? Think he ever wonders what it would be like to plunge his hands into your silky hair?" Ed's seething silence was enough of a reply. "Think he wants to use you like the bitch that you are, military dog? You're as pretty as a girl, Ed-chan; is it such a strange idea that men would want to use you as one?"
His face twisted furiously. "You're far more..." the breath was knocked from him as the Sin lost a measure of control and slammed into him harder, pounding the air from his lungs, "...feminine than...I am... Maybe someone...should give you...a taste of...your own medicine."
Envy groaned, shifting back to his own from, a smile curving his lips into an expression of sublime pleasure. He released his grip in Ed's hair and instead grabbed onto the line of the noose, pulling it tight around his captive's throat. "Maybe that's not such a bad idea." His voice was thick and husky, breathless as he broke and ran for the finish, the force of his motions rocking the bed into the wall loudly-- Ed's head would have hit the wall as well, if not for a single pillow cushioning the impact.
The young alchemist thrashed under the assault-- the idea of human sacrifice shot through his mind like a falling star (the victim was crucified; tied down and nailed with steel spikes, his blood an offering)-- and struggled for air. Black dots danced like malignant will-o'-the-wisps across his vision, and the pain faded in the distance... Ed's good eye opened wide in surprise, and he was only dimly aware of the spasms of his lungs as his body cried for oxygen. Sounds faded with the pain, drowned under the metallic ringing in his ears, but his vision was startlingly clear. Envy's hair swept against his skin, and he could see every damp strand...the glistening of sweat coating the homunculus's inhuman skin and running down his tightly furrowed brow...a smear of his own blood painting the Sin's delicate jaw. Everything began to fuzz around the edges, unravel like a torn scrap of cheap cloth, and Ed struggled to force it back, craning his head back and opening his mouth in silent supplication.
Envy panted and admired the dazed and unabashedly, unintentionally wanton expression on Ed's face-- his pink mouth open; his vulnerable throat bared; his face flushed; his eyes closed, the damp lashes clumped; his gold hair free, a river of the purest alchemical metal flowing around him. He felt the tightness gathering, like thunderheads before the breaking of a storm-- ominous, powerful, and unstoppable-- and he embraced it, encouraged it. He released the rope, his hand falling away, and his back bowed in the completion of his culminating thrust. He cried out, an ululating noise not unlike a wolf's call, and shuddered, his body still moving against Ed's almost of it's own violation. He fell heavily onto his captive, breathing hard.
The silence between breaths seems to last forever...but eventually Envy sat up, tugging the rope looser around Ed's neck. The young man still looked out of it, and considering, Envy decided that this was probably a good thing. A smile danced across the Sin's face, and he touched Ed's bruised face delicately, willing what little clothing he "wore" back into place. Ed groaned and flinched, a flicker of obstinacy and loathing in the crease of his brow, the light of his half-open gold eye.
"I told..." he coughed hard, drawing in whooping breaths and expelling bloody flecks of saliva. "I told you...that you couldn't... Couldn't break me." An almost smug smile blossomed on his face-- the smile of a man who's confident of the cards he laid on the table. "Told you."
Envy's smile didn't fade. "Then I guess I'll have to try again sometime." He stood up and stared down at Ed, running his eyes along the alchemist's abused body, his expression turning thoughtful. "What a piece of work is man!" He shook his head. "For as much as we seek to be human, hagane no ochibi-san, you are still incomprehensible to us sometimes." He ran his hand along the edge of the bed, an impish look in his eyes.
"I am going to leave you here, despite our need for your alchemical skills, and I want you to think long and hard of this, ochibi-san-- when you look at other people; when you see those who you trust; when you walk into your commander's office or sit down with the mechanic-girl; when you go to sleep at night, comforted by the presence of your brother... Look at them, really look at them...and wonder. Wonder when the next time might be." Pleasure rippled down his spine as he saw the dawning comprehension on Ed's face. "It's so easy to slip in, so easy to catch you with your guard down." He waved lazily as he stepped to the door, morphing into a military uniform, calmly ignoring Ed's incomprehensible, inarticulate screams of rage.
"See you around."