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07 February 2007 @ 04:49 pm
[fic] Dislike  
Title: Dislike
Author: hime1999
Warning: none
Spoilers: Only for Hei's existance
Word count: 1119 words
Note: For cryogenia, who's been bunnying me for days and helped me finish this one.

* * * * * * *

Alfons had an immediate dislike toward Edward since the first time they met.

It wasn't because of Herr Oberth's immediate fondness toward the shorter boy, no it wasn't. It wasn't also because of the way the boy could progress so quickly since his arrival here, going from zero knowledge of basic physics to nearly surpassing Alfons who had been struggling with the rockets for the last one year.

It wasn't also because of the way the genius would inspire new ways, just with a couple of words and gestures, rendering the days of struggling against a particular obstacle in certain blue prints pointless, bringing all of them onto their knees from the sheer perfection demonstrated by his brain.

Nope, not at all.

He just disliked the way Edward would stare at him when the boy thought he hadn't noticed. He didn't like the way those uncanny golden eyes would be fixed at him, appraising him, giving him the willies with their intensity. But at the same time, it was as if Edward had not been looking at him, because those eyes would turn dark and unseeing, as if looking at something that hadn't been there. Or maybe, something that should be there, that wasn't him.

Yeah, that was it.

And it wasn't just his imagination, because Herr Oberth too had remarked upon it when they were alone, noting how Edward seemed to see him as an equal. Alfons had told the inventor that maybe it was the opposite, that Edward actually deemed him as unworthy of his superior brain power. Fortunately, the inventor took it as joking, and Alfons would like to keep it that way.

But of course, Alfons was raised to be a gentleman. He kept his objections toward the boy to himself and treated him no different than the other students in Herr Oberth's place. He interacted with him on daily basis, secretly keeping his dislike from prying eyes. He helped him interact with the others, as it seemed that regardless of the boy's brilliance, he was a complete idiot when it comes to social life.

He even gave him the other bed in his boarding when he found out that the boy had been sleeping in the lab's storage because he wanted to save his money; an act out of his selfishness instead of the proper pity -- he couldn't have the boy freeze to death before he got one over him -- but still an act nevertheless, and it looked good to the others.

That turned out to be a grave mistake on his part.

He found out about Edward's limbs by accident. He had always resented the boy's habit to wear his gloves even in his sleep, wondering it was his way of telling him that his room was not warm enough for the Royal Highness to sleep comfortably in. But one day he went back to their shared room to pick up a forgotten book and walked into Edward changing out of his pajama.

It wasn't that Alfons had anything against cripples. On the contrary, he felt pity for them, because in these kind of time, it was hard for them to live alone without anybody to support them, dying on the street without anybody caring. It made him disliked Edward even more because he couldn't help but feel a strike of respect toward him after the initial shock, for his ability to stand on his own and do what he wanted to do, regardless of the obstacle his body had become.

Having respect toward him made it hard for Alfons to dislike him. But since the incident, any attempt of help he tried to offer to the boy, even acts that he used to give to him without any problem or words that only loosely resemble worry would be met with refusal, and even contempt, much to Alfons' consternation. For somebody who got more than he deserved, Edward was quite an ingrate.

He had the chance to call that to his face one day, after too much failed experiments with a new type of liquid fuel and wryness radiating from the boy. While it put the boy to his place, it also made him attempt to move out from the boarding. He managed to stop him, of course, but only because it would not look good if the others see him throwing out a cripple out on the street just because of something that was not even worth mentioning.

Yeah, that was it. It had nothing to do with feeling guilty. Not at all.

To say that the days following were uncomfortable was like saying that the sky had some shiny stars in it, but Alfons was content with letting Edward mope around the room, avoiding him like a plague. As best as he could, of course, with their beds being in the same room. He would notice the boy trying to say something at him, but he ignored him, of course. He had been nice to the boy and the boy should realize that before he made any attempt on talking with him ever again.

But the boy did talk to him again, when Alfons was in his bed, ready for the night's sleep. He told him that he was leaving in a few days and he couldn't stop him because the boy was going home to Munich. He said he couldn't find what he was looking for here. Alfons had pretended to sleep through the whole one-sided talk. He didn't care if the boy was going home. In this case, he was not at fault, nobody would point a finger at him.

He didn't care about Edward. He disliked him badly. He disliked this boy who didn't even deem him worth liking. There was no use of liking somebody who didn't like him back. Who wouldn't like him back.

Alfons disliked Edward.

Really, he did.

It was a bright day when Edward left his room for good. As bright as his heart felt. It continued to get brighter and brighter, and Alfons went on with his life and his research, going on just like the way it used to be. There was no more of that pressure of having to do his best, to compete against an unbroken wall.

He threw out the cup Edward used. He kept the papers they worked on together into one box and put it in the storage, out of his sight. He evaded conversations about Edward and speculations about his well-being and the reasons he left. He even took the extra bed out to make space for his materials.

Edward was never here.

Alfons never lost him, and he certainly never missed him.

* * * * * * *
Current Mood: accomplishedaccomplished
dommi's geekery: look to the wind // edwardken_ichijouji on February 7th, 2007 10:44 am (UTC)
Hey Hei? Denial? Not just a river in Egypt. ^_~

I really liked this, how Alfons just slowly grudgingly becomes fond of Edward, and how he keeps talking himself out of it. And the last line is awesome. :-D
snippy_chan on February 7th, 2007 03:40 pm (UTC)
Poor Heiderich, mixed feelings are confusing. *hugs*

Your icon is still making me laugh. XD
TerraCotta Bonesterracottabones on February 7th, 2007 07:58 pm (UTC)
*squees!* I love this! It's a complete denial - but it's also very...Alphonse, I might say. Well, Alfons actually, but I can see the Alphonse there. Alfons is like what Alphonse would've been if he didn't have a brother, I think - you can see just from the way Alphonse acts in the series when Ed isn't around. The relationship you built between Alfons and Ed is great - I especially love the last two lines. Very "Brothers." And that's what FMA's all about, after all.

My only concrits are these - you're missing a few words here and there, or a word doesn't seem quite right ("unbroken wall"?), and some of your verb tenses are off. Just proofread, and that should all clear up.

Overall - yay!
Hime D. ~創世の錬金術師~: Ed - <333hime1999 on February 8th, 2007 12:59 am (UTC)
Ack, I figured that I would have a problem with grammar. I really suck at it and I guess I was too hurried to share the fic before running it through a beta. f(>_>;;;;