Katu (fullmetalkatu) wrote in fm_alchemist,

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Conquerer of Shambala in Just Over Four Minutes Or Less

Yes, we did it. We made the film summary longer than the series' summary.

It was fun.

Warnings: Some swearing, SPOILERS FOR THE END OF THE FILM, lots of strange references and things of the like.

You can download it here:

This is the script, but it's more of an outline so we knew what to say at the time.

Welcome to the Fullmetal Alchemist Movie in...well, just hope that it's shorter than the movie itself.

Oh my god It's an atom bomb, that's totally not canon. Al is a head bucket. ED IS NOT ALLOWED TO DRIVE. (Cough cough) Dude, hitchhiking is cool, Let's sing in romany! Oh noes this woman's boobs are in my face. (Cough Cough) To the festival! *clap* WTF? Sorry force of habit! LAWNMOWER! BadawbadawWHEE! RUN FROM THE SCENE OF THE CRIME~ (Run away run away run away) (Cough cough) And I'm such a creepy stalker lady I'm going to watch you sleep, Ed. EW. WELCOME TO THE STAIRS OF EMO MAY WE TAKE YOUR ORDER? I'd like an emoing ed and a steaming hot side dish of guilt? INSERT THE BEGINNING OF THE OTHER ALTERS HERE! Oh my god, I'm a Nazi, but you love me anyway! I don't! Look, proof that the movie is historically accurate! DUDE YOU HAVE NO FACE YOU NAZI HOLY SHNIKES HOMUNCULI! Remember what we said about Ed not driving? DUDE ED HAS A PEASHOOTER! Huh? Dragon? ....DRAGON!!!!! Oh, Hi Envy. Whut? Dad? UNCONCIOUSNESS! Dude, one eyed snowman! God, Roy, you emo. Matches? LAME. ....we miss IZUMI!! Al can make water! Ed, you moron, why didn't you think of that?! ARMSTRONG! Who made him mayor? Probably Roy. But he's a lackey now! And remember kids, Glitter is like herpes! ANYHOW! Rose, you horrible creature, Al wants to go to the gate! Wait, Al Forgot? Yep. LAME! I can put me inside stuff! Ew. Gracia and Hughes again! Make Elycia already! Heiderich likes rockets. (Cough cough) Cults! Ed, you moron, don't put the blood on there- oh, you DUMBASS. OH MY GOD IT'S A MAIN CHARACTER! YES THAT'S IT, SQUEEZE THE LIFE OUT OF YOUR BROTHER! Ed's not a midget (actually...) PIGGYBACK RIDE OF DEATH! By the way, the villians are over there somewhere. Al wakes up crying- SO CUTE! Silly Rockbell, Elrics are for Germans. (cough cough) You're crazy, huh ed? RINGRINGRING BANANA PHONE! Winry's running off! Look, movies! Nazis! Ahahahahaa! Prehistoric monster syndrome! INSERT HISTORIC MOVEMENT HERE! SPRING TIME FOR HITLER AND GERMANY~~ Rockets! (cough cough) Look, plot stuff! Welcome back to emo stairs, may I take your- NO AL, YOU JERK! (cough cough) OH SHNIKES BLOOD. I'M SORRY I TAKE IT BACK! It's not porn, we swear- just ESPN! Why is Ed obsessed with Sausage? NAZIS~ Hey look, it's Maes and he's being an ass! LOOK IT'S AL! Oh, who cares, it's wrath. EW GLUTTONY. Did you gain weight? Alot of weight? That's my Hitler! NOAH WANTS HER LAND NOAH WANTS MY LAND FROM AMESTRIS TO THE REST OF GERMANY. THE ALCHEMY DEMANDS BLOOD! Way to traumatize Alphonse, dumbass. LET THERE BE NAKED! Is that Hoenheim? OH SHNIKES SUICIDE! Envy finally got his wish! WTF Heiderich, you trapped me in this thing? (Cough cough) Yes, Ed, I LOVE YOU KTHXBAI (cough cough) AL YOU ASSWIPE! Make it so number one! GO GO GO! (cough choke DED) YOU BASTARD HE WAS GOING TO DIE ANYWAY! NOAH WANTS HER LAND! Ed is Indiana jones! Fly? Yes! Land? No. Oh and by the way, sceiska's here too. NIISAN! Ed's heart go SPLODE FROM THE GIRLFRIEND WANNABE! I see dead people! Yep. AL, QUIT BEING A DUMBASS. Why do the robots have Uzis? OMG MUSTANG'S GANG! What about Roy's depth perception? DUDE BAlOOOOOOON. I LOVE YOU ROY! kthx. AL, QUIT BEING A DUMBASS. ....HOLY SHNIKES WAS THAT ELYCIA? Air battle~~~~! Hi, Roy, eyepatch? LAME? Arr, Mister Elric, ye'll be shutting that trap of yours, won't ye? Apple? EW. I am a throwaway villian hear my cliched motives and tremble, tremble I SAY! AL IS COME TO TOWN TO SAVE THE PRINCESS EDWARD! dude, not cool, I'm not a chick. (Roy is Sad!) We make your face go 'splode (for lack of scar UNTIL LATERZ) And why is it that dumbassery runs in the Elric family? Poor Trisha married in, the poor poor woman. Fullmetal, you dumbass, don't leave me here. NIISAN!!! Will you love me if I cough? OH MY GOD MONSTER! Hughes just totally redeemed his character and who woulda thougt that it would have just taken a bullet. (Cough... *waaaaah*) HOW AM I WALKING? Nii-san, you're stupid, you're using your leg as a cane! HOLY CRAP IT'S AL!




Yes, there was alot of improv.

Dude, balloooo~ooon.
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