Genre: Humor Smut
Rating: R for sexual situations
Pairing: Riza Hawkeye / Roy Mustang, Royai
Spoilers: None, whatsoever.
Disclaimer: Fullmetal Alchemist was created by Hiromu Arakawa and is distributed by Square-Enix, Viz, and Funimation.
Word Count: Not quite sure but it's really pretty short.
Summary: Roy Mustang hates paperwork, and will gladly jump at any distraction that presents itself.
Roy Mustang absolutely hated paperwork, and often he'd find himself looking for something, anything to serve as a distraction.
He decided it wasn't fair, how Riza Hawkeye could look so damn sexy in so shapeless a uniform. Of course, she looked hot out of it too, but there was something about her in that uniform that just excited Roy.
It wasn't even like she was sitting there doing anything erotic really. Well, except doing her paperwork. That wasn't very sexy in itself, but it was the other things she did during it, like chewing on her pencil, or the soft sigh she made when she stretched. And of course the wonderful bounce her breasts made during said stretch...
Roy frowned as he realized just what effect his lieutenant was having on him. Diligently he tried to ignore his growing erection and focus on his paperwork. It didn't work. Then again it never did.
He could beat this, really he would. The key was to focus, and ignore the way her hair was up baring the tempting back of her neck, or the way she licked her lips while contemplating a particular problem. He gulped and looked back down at his work. "Focus, man, focus..." he thought.
And then she stood and took off her uniform jacket. He watched as she sat and resumed her work. In particular he watched her rather ample chest that was accentuated by the fitted turtleneck that served as the women's undershirt.
Roy didn't know who designed the female uniform, but he swore to give them a huge raise when he became fuhrer.
Finally the colonel had had enough. No work was getting done while he was distracted. He stood and adjusted his pants, trying to relieve the damage caused by said distraction.
It was time to take matters into his own hands.
Riza Hawkeye let out an annoyed huff as she felt cool fingers trail down the back of her neck and dip down into her collar. "Sir, what do you think you're doing?"
The hand was removed from her neck and slid around to rest on her belly. The other hand soon joined it. "Lieutenant, I think you know what I'm doing," he whispered, his breath hot on her ear. The left hand moved upward, heading under her bra.
She sighed as it engulfed her left breast. "Are you done your... Ah!" She moaned as he rubbed a thumb over her nipple. Valiantly, she tried to continue, "Are you done with your... uh... your paperwork then, sir?"
Kissing the back of her neck, Roy shook his head. "I got distracted."
"By-," She became preoccupied as his other hand slipped under her waistband and into her underwear. "By what, colonel?"
He stroked her folds and was quite pleased by the groan he got in response. She could almost feel him smirking into the back of her neck. "Why, my dear lieutenant," he said in a low and husky whisper.
"What I got distracted by," she moaned again when his finger slipped inside her, "was you."
A small cry escaped Riza as he moved upward and found the sensitive bundle of nerves at her core.
Oh, this would not do. She would not let him have his way, no matter how good it felt. Biting her lip, the lieutenant willed herself to ignore the sensations his fingers caused. Finally she was able to grasp his wrists and pull his hands away from her body.
"Colonel...." she said sultrily as she turned around in his arms.
Roy's eyes closed in anticipation as he felt her skillful fingers unzip his fly.
"You know the rule...."
Shuddering as a slim hand stroked his now free erection, he didn't see her other hand reach behind her.
The sound of a safety being clicked off caused his eyes to pop open. He stared down in horror as Riza shoved the nozzle of her gun in his crotch.
She met his horrified gaze and smiled sweetly.
"No sex until you finish your paperwork."
Cursing, the colonel backed up and hurriedly zipped up his fly, almost trapping "Little Roy" in the process as he limped back to his desk.
Riza watched with amusement as he began signing papers with the speed of a raging wildfire.
Yes, Roy Mustang, who had seen and done so much in his life, hated paperwork above all else. But if you knew the trick, well....
It's amazing what a dog will do with the proper motivation.
This was written quickly to fulfill my requirements for the fma_fuh_q community. I had intended to make a long thoughtful piece of fiction, but it didn't quite work that way. Oh well.
-Thanks to the creators, cast and crew of the FMA manga and anime.
-Thanks to my husband, who as ever remains grumpy beyond belief.
-Thanks to those who leave feedback or review. I appreciate it greatly.
-Thanks to the mods of fma_fuh_q for their patience and understanding.
And thanks to you for reading.
Anne Packrat (December 3, 2006)
And thank you for reading!