panic_and_pride (panic_and_pride) wrote in fm_alchemist,

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OMG, fanfiction!

Title: A Loaded God Complex
Paring: Ed x Envy
Rating: T
Spoilers: none
Warings: OOC, swearing and Boyxboy goodness


"What the fuck are you doing?"
"Fine, fine…who's there?"
"Dammit, Chibi!"
"Ok, ok…boo who?" 
"Aww….are you sad, Chibi?!"
"That Envy," started Edward Elric as he continued to sit under a tree in the park, reading one of his science books, "Was the lamest joke I've ever heard."
"Fine then…" pouted Envy, as he sat on the limb just above Ed, looking down at him, "….knock-knock?"
"Damnit, Envy! No more!" yelled Ed, taking his eyes away from the book and glaring up at the palm tree in the tree. Of course, this action caused Ed to get a good look of what was under Envy's skort. Envy, seeing this, squeaked like the little girl he can be and immediately fell from the tree…some how…
"OMG, Ed, stop being a pervert!" screamed Envy. Ed blushed, the human thing to do in any awkward situation, and denied it right away.
"I am NOT a pervert! You were asking for it! Just…look at how you're dressed! That just SCREAMS 'come here and rape my ass!'" accused Ed, dropping the now forgotten book to the ground, standing up and pointing a gloved finger at Envy. "It’s all YOUR fault!" but, really, Ed was just pretending….he had really wanted to see what was under Envy's skort for ages…
…well blow me down and call me Fred, Ed really IS a pervert…
….it's a shame that has nothing to do with the plot line…
Envy, not being the one to quit while he's ahead, replied just as angrily as Ed pretended to be.
"No, it's your fault! It’s all you!" said Envy, sticking his tongue out and having a mini tantrum over it. What a fucking bab-
"No, you asked for it!"
"Did not!"
"Did to!"
"Did not!"
"Did to!"
"Did not!"
"Did not!"
"Did t-….Damnit, Chibi!"
"HA HA HA! I win!"
"Wait….what was the point to all that?"
"I don't remember…."
"Anyway….Why did the chicken cross the road?" tried Envy with the jokes again. Ed screamed frustrated to the sky.
"Why, Envy? Why with all the jokes?" said Ed, sinking to his knees in an over dramatic way. Envy looked confused at Ed, before making up something that turned out to be the truth anyway.
"Can't tell, you'll laugh at me..." Envy nervously replied; bringing a hand up to scratch the back of his head. A nervous habit. Ed took his glare away from the sky, as if god had planned for his life to be a living hell…
….and somewhere right now, god killed a kitten….
…why? Because god just doesn't like Ed's whining…
"You're right, I would laugh. But, please, fell free to tell me anyway!" smirked a happy Chibi, making his way to stand in front of Envy and careful trace his jaw bone with one gloved finger. Envy shivered at the touch Ed gave him, but avoided eye contact.
"N-no Ed…" a new EXTREMELY TO THE MAX nervous palm tree, slowly edging away. But, Ed saw this coming and quickly wrapped an arm around Envy's waist, pulling him back closer. Envy gulped.
"Come on, Envy, I know you want to…" whispered the fucking sexy pervert of an Ed. And Envy's mind came to a conclusion.
Edward Elric, Envy decided, is such a tease.
Having something so sexy so close to you, but knowing if you touched it you're life would become a living hell, was just enough to drive a person insane. Luckily, Envy wasn't a person and was already insane. So, instead of listening to those 'Resist temptation' voices, he chose to listen to the 'take him while he's still hot!' voices.
"Ok….I'm telling you jokes because I love the way you laugh…" said Envy, smirking awkwardly as he looked into Ed's golden eyes. Ed's face immediately tried to prevent the laughter that was dying to break free. Envy saw this and frowned.
"Edo, you promised you wouldn't laugh…"
"I-I'm..not!" Ed somehow managed to speak without any laughter sinking through. But, right before a gasp of laughter was going to sneak out; Envy lowered his head and caught Ed's mouth in a kiss. Ed grinned into the kiss, and pressed his mouth harder against Envy's, moving his hands from the waist and to around Envy's neck. A sound of pleasure escaped Envy's throat, he opened his mouth and tried to pry Ed's lips open with his tongue. Ed's lips opened at the touch of Envy's tongue, and took the liberty to thrust his own into Envy's mouth.
Envy was in complete bliss, as he felt Ed's tongue ran up and down his teeth. He got back to Ed by moving his arms under Ed's shirt and running his hands up and down the spine line. Ed shivered at the touch, and tried to pull Envy closer. Envy's hand soon found its way to Ed's pants waist line, and his hand-
"Omg, Fullmetal! What the hell are you doing to that palm tree?!?" screeched Roy, just before fainting. Hearing a voice, Ed pulled his lips away from Envy and looked over at the poor fainted Roy. He then sighed and pulled out of the embrace. Envy frowned upon this, but didn't question anything. Ed felt disappointed that the moment was destroyed. He walked back to the tree to wear his book lay, picked it up, sat back down and continued to read. Envy made this way back to the limb above Ed's head. Everything went back to normal…
"Hey Ed?"
…well, almost

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