Title: A Halloween Tale
Pairing: Ed x Envy
Rating: T for Teen...PG+13
Spoilers: None that i know of
Warnings: Language, OOC-ness and light shounen-ai
"Nii-san, guess what?!?" yelled Al, as he ran into Ed’s private study, waving a piece of paper around.
"What Al?" asked Ed, not even looking up from the book he was reading. Al pouted, mentally of course since it's difficult for a suit of armor to have any facial expression, annoyed by Ed's attempts of finishing his book.
"We've been invited to a Halloween party at the Colonel's house! Oh, what fun it will be! We have to go find some costumes! Oh whatever will I go as? You do know you’re coming as well, don’t you?"
"Hm? Sure, whatever Al." answered Ed, not really know what he had just agreed to. Al left, with a mental smile in his head as he left Ed to his books and went to find a costume that would fit him.
------------------- The night of the party a.k.a. Halloween Night!
"This sucks. Why did you drag me along?" Ed complained to Al, as they walked the streets of Central, after finding out Roy's address since he was too dense to put his address on the invitation, to Roy's house for the party which Ed didn’t really want to go to in the first place.
"Ed, you agreed to go!" said Al
"What? When did I ever agree to that?"
Al sighed, knowing that this was going to happen and stepped walking. Ed stopped also, confused by Al's actions. Al opened his armor, and pulled out a GIANT MAN-EATING SLUG!!
Ha ha ha no. He pulled out a video camera. So? Of course they had video cameras back where Ed came from. If not, looks like Al just invented them. Al pressed play and handed it over to Ed. Ed veered the little screen and was devastated to find himself saying that he would come to this party.
"Damnit, Al, where did you even get this tape?" Ed yelled at his brother, chucking the video camera at Al's armored chest. It bounced off Al, leaving him unharmed and fell to the ground and crashed into a thousand pieces. Al sighed again.
"Ni-san, that was rather unnecessary. I got it off some Fangirl that was stalking you, ok? God, get over yourself. Come on, we're late from the party now." Said Al, grapping his brother by the arm and skipping down the street. Ed, thinking quickly, dug his heel into the ground.
"No, Al, I am NOT going! Why did I even let you choose my costume?" complained Ed again, looking down at what he was wearing. Yes boys and girls, Ed was in fact dressed as a princess. Yes, a princess. The dress he was wearing was long, puffy and had frills on the bottom. Kind of like those old English dresses. It was made out of a plain white material and had long selves, which widen at the ends, so you couldn't see his automail. He was frilly around his chest, so it didn't matter that Ed didn't have any breasts. Ed had let his hair down, with a huge red and white ribbon and bow used as a head band to kept his hair off his face. Also, he was wearing a red ribbon around his neck as a necklace. If you look closely at the necklace, in the center you could see a little golden bell. Hell, he was even wearing gloves. At first glance, you thought he was a girl. Second glance, you got to see the glare he was sending everyone who looked his way.
"But, Nii-san! You look so pretty!" said Al. Al was dressed up as a mongoose. Yes, don’t ask me how that works. Claps for the people who know what a mongoose is. Ed blushed.
"Yeah, well that's not the point!" muttered Ed; never admitting to anyone that indeed he did look a lot nicer dressed as a girl.
Somehow, Ed made it too the party without killing anyone, even though those teenagers driving past who tooted at him were THIS CLOSE to getting it, and Al managed not to die. Good for him.
Roy's house was huge and the party was off the hook, with loud music, flashing lights and everyone dressed up in some sort of clothing. Ed grinned, as he made his way to the kitchen.
"Nii- san…what's with that evil grin?" Al asked concerned for Ed's sanity. After watching the movie Bratz back when they were younger and had a TV, Ed was scared for life. But Al had to admit that Ed didn't really look that evil while wearing a dress, with ribbons in his hair.
"Well, no one would know it's me in this dress! Just look around, I'm going to blend right in!" exclaimed Ed happily. But God still held a grudge against Ed.
"Sup, Boss?" asked Havoc, coming up to Ed and Al. Ed’s eyes widen with shock.
"Damnit, Havoc! How did you know it's me?"
"You mean it was a secret?"
Ed growled loudly in frustration and left the kitchen and out to the backyard. Roy's backyard was huge as well, complete with a tennis court and what looked like to be a lake. So, Ed made his way to the edge of the lake and found an empty bench there. He sat down there, sighed and breathed in the fresh air. He smiled slightly, as he felt the way the wind swept through his hair. But, God still hated him.
"Hey pretty lady! Do you co- oh my god, it that you O' Chibi san?"
"Oh shit!" muttered Ed, before closing his eyes, putting on a fake, weak smile and turned to the person. "Hello Envy! What are you doing here?"
Yes, it was Envy and even he was dressed up for Halloween. Well, he put on pants and had his hair up in a pony tail. But that's about all.
"Um, O' Chibi san, where the hell are you dressed as a girl?" asked Envy, before taking a seat next to Ed. Ed didn't explode at the small remark. GASP!
"It's Halloween, dumbass! You get dressed up in costumes, duh!" Ed said angrily. Envy just nodded and stared across the lake. Silence was thrown over them, like a rug! Well, it wasn't that silent, since there was a huge party going on behind them. You still could hear the music coming from the house. Envy decided to break this silence, because he liked to break things. Muhahaha.
"Hey, Edo, I've got a little test to know if you’re a psychopath-"
"Why would I want to know that?"
"Just shut up and listen. At her mother’s funeral, a woman met this guy and fell instantly in love. But she never got his name, number or anything about him. A few days later, the woman killed her sister. Why?"
Ed had to think about this, but still didn't know the answer.
"I dunno." said Ed, after a couple seconds of silence, "maybe she was angry or something?"
"Wrong. The woman killed her sister because she was hoping the guy she liked would appear at the funeral."
"Whoa, that's creepy."
Silence returned to them as they just sat on the bench. Envy couldn't handle much more of this. The silence was killing him.
'Shit!' though Envy, 'I need to get away from this silence! Anything would work!' He pondered on his thoughts for a while.
"So…" Ed said trying to get the conversation started.
"…would you like to dance?" blurted out Envy. All Ed could do was stare and yell.
Envy gulped. He really didn’t mean to say that out loud.
"I said 'Would you like to dance with me?'" answered Envy, who became way interested with his feet. He really didn't except the answer that came out of Ed's mouth.
"Alright" said Ed, standing up and letting his dress fall to the ground. Envy's head wiped up to met Ed's eye.
"Really?" asked Envy, blushing as he stood up also. Ed nodded, stepping closer and taking Envy's hands in a dance start position. Envy mentally gasped, as Ed pulled himself roughly against Envy. Envy took a moment or two to try and get used to Ed’s body heat, but failed as his mind went into a kind of shock thing or whatever. Ed waited for Envy to take the lead and start to dance. After waiting another five seconds, Ed realized that it wasn't going to happen and took the lead and started to dance.
Now, I want all of you guys now to picture Ed, in the prettiest dress you can think of, and Envy dancing at night next to a lake.
I would like to end the fic here, with that lovely picture in mind, but I won't. Muahahah!
Envy's mind had been blank ever since Ed had taken his hand. He barely realized that he was dancing, or moving around in a circle for that matter. He didn’t realize how close they were getting to the lake. He didn't realize that Ed stumbled. He didn't realize he was falling into the lake. But, hell, he did realize when he hit the water. Oh, and of course, the water was freezing.
So, Ed and Envy landed in the lake, filled with freezing cold water, with a splash. Envy wasn't happy.
"What the fuck was that for Ed?" Yelled Envy, as he stood up in the knee-deep water, waving his arms around madly.
"What? Do you think I like to fall into freezing cold water?" Ed complained, standing up and storming out of the water. Envy made the mistake of walking right behind Ed and got splashed by Ed's stomping. "Great, now my dress is also ruined!" shouted Ed, who sat back down on the bench, crossed his arms over his chest and pouted. Envy had to pause; his feet still in the water, and quickly look Ed up and down. In Envy's mind, Ed couldn't get any better then that.
Ah yes, the wonders that water did to white clothing.
But oh no, Envy didn't even start to get closer to Ed because of the great white ghost behind him. Envy stood speechless, as the ghost bite down and ate Ed in one go. And then Envy went to go make out with Roy. The End.
Just kidding. No, in fact Envy did get closer to Ed. A lot closer in fact.
Envy made his way over to where Ed sat on the bench, sitting a bit too close for comfort.
"Um, Envy, you mind backing off a little?" asked Ed nervously, as Envy moved his face closer to Ed's. Ed leaned back as far as his neck would go, but Envy kept getting closer. But then, Roy came and killed the day and the lovely kiss that Ed and Envy were about to share. Whoohoo. That 'whoohooo' was entirely sarcastic, stupid Roy.
"Hey, Fullmetal, how- omg, what are you about to kiss?" yelled out Roy when he saw Ed and Envy. Envy growled, not taking too lightly to be called a 'what'.
"Who are you, you stupid pirate!" yelled Envy back, pointing at Roy. Yes, Roy was dressed as a pirate. Why, you may ask. Because he would look super hot as a pirate. Duh.
"I'm Roy Mustang! The hottest guy at this party!" Roy declared, posing in a kind of I-rock-get-used-to-it-you-bitches stand. This cause Envy to fall on the ground laughing.
"Aha ha ha ha! You, hottest guy? Ed is SO much hotter then you!" cried out Envy. Ed paled and Roy's eyes had that flame thing in them.
"Envy, I don't wanna be dragged into this…"
"Well then, I declare a challenge! It’s the ‘How many phone numbers you can get in the next 20 minutes! Ready, set, GO!" shouted Roy, before running back up to the house. Ed calmly stood up, walked over to where Envy stood and hit Envy over the head.
"What was that for, you stupid palm tree!" Yelled Ed, his dress still wet. Envy gulped again, noticing the way Ed's dress clung to his skin. Envy shook his head, grabbed Ed's hand and ran back up to the house as well. A plan already forming in his head.
"Come on, Ed! We have to beat that stupid, son of a bitch pirate!" shouted Envy over his shoulder as he ran. Ed sighed, knowing that he had no choice but to do the dumb challenge.
20 minutes later, Ed and Envy met up with Roy back down by the lake. Ed found that getting the phone numbers was quite easy. Little did he know that his dress was see-through and any guy or girl would gladly stare at Ed. Hell, I would! But, that’s not important right now. What’s most important is who won this weird challenge! The winner was…
…and we’ll find out, after this message from our sponsors! But, who really gives a shit about what my sponsors have to say. So anyway, back to who one the challenge.
Ed won the challenge; only because God was too busy playing Xbox to care about Ed’s life at that moment. Roy was devastated to find that Ed had gotten 40 more signatures then Roy did. Boohoo Roy, here’s a tissue for your issue. This party had gotten on Ed’s last nerve, so he left the crying Roy on the ground and stomped back up to the house. But, this stomping cause Ed to trip over with a squeal that Ed was going to deny later, on the hem of the dress. But, nothing could get the Chibi down, so he just stood up, brushed the dirt off the front of his dress and continued his way back up to the house. Envy was following him the whole time, and giggled loudly when Ed tripped over.
Ed quickly entered the house, looking around for Al. But, since Al was the tallest one there, it wasn’t very hard.
“Come on, Al, we’re blowing this Popsicle stand!” yelled Ed over the music.
“What?” replied Al, not hearing anything that Ed just said.
“No, I don’t want anything to want anything to eat!”
“What? I said we are going!”
“Potato pie!” replied Al again. Ed stared at Al, a confused and WTF look on his face, as he grabbed Al’s armored arm and dragged him out of the house and onto the street. They both began to walk away, when Ed heard a voice yell behind them.
“Get your ass back here Chibi!”
Ed quickly turned around, angry as hell times 2 plus 56 divided by 7 times 2 again and stormed back to the person who called him small. It was Envy who dared to test the Chibi’s patience, and was waiting for him with his hands on his hips on a smug look on his face.
“What do you want you dumb palm tree?” growled Ed, sending Envy one of his death glares.
“How about you spend tomorrow with me?”
“Oh, I see how it is…Well, bye Ed” said Envy, sounding depressed and looking sad.
“Yeah, bye…” trailed off Ed, before quickly turning around and walking away. But, this was something Ed couldn’t turn away from. It’s not everyday that you get asked out by a palm tree! Ha ha ha ok, I’ll stop with the palm tree jokes. So, after about walking 20 or 30 meters, he ran back to Envy, through himself into Envy’s arms and kissed Envy.
Envy was taken very much be surprised of this action by Ed, but all too happily returned the kiss as well.
And that was Ed’s Halloween Night.
Now people, go spend you Halloween with the ones you love, or just kiss some random stranger! Come on, I’m sure that they’ll be some hot guy walking down the street dressed in some sort of costume. Or girl, if you’re a guy reading this. Go; go to the hot opposite gender of yourself and kis-
Due to the Author being shot by some crazy guy in tights, this story is now OVER.