Chelsea (maikan) wrote in fm_alchemist,
Chelsea
maikan
fm_alchemist

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Title: Devotion
Author: maikan
Pairing: Roy/Maes
Rating: PG-13 at most...
Word Count: 1,304, therefore, I fail
A/N: I actually wrote this drabble for a contest a while ago, and then forgot to submit it. Go me XDD


Devotion


He sat on the dusty ground as he slipped his left shoe onto his foot. All around him soldiers bustled and ran, preparing for the battle that would soon commence. He nimbly finished tying his shoe, and pushed himself off the ground and began walking at a calm stroll that seemed uncharacteristic with the environment. He examined his surroundings; there were endless rows of tens lined up just out side of a large city. There must have been thousands of soldiers ready and waiting to attack Ishbal, alchemists and average Joe drafted soldiers alike. There were commanders giving orders, people preparing weapons, and a few stragglers still getting themselves dressed. There was a slightly chaotic and apprehensive atmosphere that hung over the camp as the time to attack drew near.

Maes came to a stop when he believed he had reached the tent he was searching for, though it was hard to tell because they were all uniform and exactly alike. He bent down and lifted one of the flaps open. “Roy?” he called, wanting to make sure it was his companion’s tent before entering. In seconds a face painted with a forced smile stuck itself out of the tent and then burrowed back in, Maes following. “You ready?” Hughes asked his higher up, a man named Roy Mustang.

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” the dark-haired man replied in a grim tone. He moved to the back of the small tent to pick up a pair of white gloves, each one decorated with a flame sigil.

Maes gave Roy a sympathetic look. He knew how hard this attack would be for Roy, it was hard for him too. But they were soldiers, it was their duty, and they didn’t have a choice if they wanted to remain so. They were dogs of the military, and during times of war their leashes were shortened. But men like Maes and Roy loathed this part of their duty. They both hated the fighting portions of their jobs, but they had to do it. Roy had military dreams and he couldn’t simply run away when the going got tough if he wanted them to come true. It was things like this that made him want to become Fuhrer even more, so that he could put a stop to them in the future. And as long as Roy remained strong, Hughes would remain just as courageous, supporting Roy all the way to the top.

“Alright,” Roy said calmly, “Let’s go.” He began for the exit, moving as best he could in the small space.

“Wait,” Maes interjected, blocking Roy’s path outside. He traveled the few steps that separated him and the older man and took Mustang by the chin, lifting it to his mouth. Their lips met in a soft embrace, mingling for a moment before Maes pulled away. “You be careful out there, okay?” he ordered with a concerned look on his face, “If you get yourself killed, I won’t have anyone to help make it to the top, and then what will I do with my time?”

Roy’s lips, still warm from the kiss, slowly formed into a smile. This time he took the lead, and leaned in towards Maes, placing his lips on the other man’s in a firmer way that before. Roy had planned to make this kiss a short, reassuring one, but soon he found that he couldn’t break away. He slipped his tongue past closed lips and gently ran it over the surface of Hughes’s mouth, their tongues colliding and wrapping around each other. Hughes’ mouth still tasted of the watery oatmeal that they had been served for breakfast, but Roy didn’t care, Finally, when both men need air, Roy broke away. “Don’t worry. I’ll be fine,” he replied, breathing deeply.

Maes chuckled. “That’s what you always say. But I’m watching out for you, and I always will.”

“Come on, we’d better head outside,” Roy stated, trying to draw the attention away from himself. Maes turned around and exited the tent, Roy following close behind.



***


His eyes opened wide, waking from a bothered sleep. After blinking a few time to adjust his eyes to the dark, he sat up in his bed, adjusting the covers which he had displaced during his dream. Beside him was Gracia slept soundly, lying on her side. Maes gazed at his wife, who looked peaceful as she slept, her lips curved in what looked like a smile. He smoothed her light brown hair away from her face and leaned down to kiss her forehead gently. “I love you…” he whispered both lovingly and quietly, so as not to wake her. Her eyes fluttered in consciousness and a soft moan escaped from her lips. “…love you too…” she uttered, and inched closer to her husband, burying her head in his chest.

Maes smiled and lied back down, putting his arm around Gracia’s and sighing. For nights he had been having this exact same dream, or dreams just like it, involving Roy and himself, some quite more... passionate. It was true that he had once been romantically involved with Roy, but that was behind him now. He was married to a woman whom he loved. He had a daughter whom he adored. So why was he having these dreams?

The dream had seemed so real, too. He could truly feel the concern he had felt for Roy. He could feel his heart beating rapidly when they kissed, and he could feel the warmth on his lips. The memory was vivid in his mind. It felt so genuine and it felt so good. And because of this, he felt ashamed. He had once loved Roy as a lover, and now he loved Roy as a brother. That part of his life was in the past. Now he had a loving wife and a beautiful daughter, and he should be completely devoted to them. And he believed he was. That’s what was so... confusing about these dreams, and about these feelings.

Maes quietly moved the blankets off of himself and swung his legs over the edge of the bed. He rose, trying his best to keep the bedsprings from squeaking. He managed to do so relatively well, and stood, slipping his feet into his slippers. He walked toward the door on the balls of his feet, treading as lightly as he could. He reached the door and quickly opened it and stepped outside in one swift movement. He walked down the hall normally now, less afraid of waking someone.

A few doors down the hall was Elysia’s room. The door was open and a nightlight on. He leaned against the door frame, gazing at his sleeping daughter. She was so beautiful, so innocent, so sincere. He could hear her light breathing and see her small body move up and down with each inhale and exhale. And as he watched his sleeping beauty, he felt nothing but love.

Devotion. Being fully devoted, he thought to himself, that’s a funny concept. At first it seems to mean that you must be devoted with all of your heart and soul to one person. But can’t you be fully devoted to more than one person? Does loving many people mean that you love each one with only a portion of your heart? Or can you love all of them equally? I’m devoted to Gracia, I’m devoted to Elysia, and…I’m devoted to Roy. I’m committed to helping Roy, and I love him, but…as a friend. I can love him without being in love with him. My life has changed; I have a family that I adore. And even I’m no longer his lover, I’ll always love him, I’ll always support him, and I’ll always watch out for him. I guess I just can’t get rid of him.
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