I will write a fanfic or drabble with the pairing
and include the following things:
glove, uniform, underwear
Don't know what pairing to write?
Then let the Fullmetal Alchemist Pairing Machine decide for you
Children were /not natural!/
In her tiny wrath, Elysia Hughes had managed to cover Ed (and the kitchen) from head to toe with baked beans (and baked bean textured puke) and was now sitting in her high chair and well in to her twenty seventh minute of shrill, deafening screaming. Babysitting? If she didn’t shut up he was gonna make that literal! Maybe sit on Hughes while he was at it, no, get /Al/ to sit on Hughes…
And still, she screamed.
“Only a bit sniffly, he says… Will get/right off to sleep/, he says…” Ed grumbled to himself, and jumped down from the kitchen counter to wipe her sticky face with his glove. Well, that didn’t shut her up. He swore, he was never staying at Headquarters for any longer than he had to again- Maes had grabbed him from the library and told him all about how Gracia had tripped and was in Hospital and could he take care of Elysia for a while?- and sure, he had watched her being born and all, but /she/ didn’t seem to give a damn about that! It wouldn’t even have been so bad if Al were here, he was the one who was good with kids. But nooo, he had given his audible smile and said "I'll stay here and keep researching Brother. You should have a break." Like they hadn’t read more than the contents of the average library between them anyway! He could have screamed, but he probably would never match the noise this kid was making- then the door opened.
Ed had never been so happy nor so enraged to see Hughes’s stupid smile and hear his easy-going “Yo, Ed!” in the whole three years that he had known him.
“Hughes,” he said, fist clenched, “I am never- hey!” The older man had already whooshed past him and was now bobbing his forlorn little girl up and down, all ooh-ing and aah-ing and making baby noises. She was three, dammit, he was memorising the first twenty elements when he was three…
Ed stood there forgotten, regarding them half heartedly. Hughes’s usually pristine uniform was already wiped in food and sick and other unnameable child related substances, but he didn’t seem to mind. Or notice. Perhaps he could sneak off…
“Oi Ed, what happened to you?” Maybe not. Hughes looked at him with a genuine air of enquiry; he was probably talking about the fact that he was soaked to the underwear in vomit and orange juice…
“What do you think happened? I am never babysitting for you again Hughes, I‘m a scientist, not a service!” He growled. Maes seemed a little taken aback, still bobbing Elysia rhythmically. He shrugged it off quick enough.
“Come on buddy, don’t tell me that the Fullmetal Alchemist was defeated by a toddler! Let’s get you two cleaned up and you can get back over to HQ, I‘ll give you a lift.” Ed found himself being grabbed by the wrist and escorted to the downstairs bathroom, which by some miracle was neat and floral; probably better suited to the house of a retired couple than the ritual mayhem that he had endured. Hughes set a now happily gurgling Elysia down in the tub and turned the warm water on. The room smelt like Gracia (who had possibly broken and snapped the tendons in her left ankle, Hughes told him with a look of pure misery, and she would be staying in the hospital until tomorrow when the X-rays were developed) and he had to admire the woman for a second just for putting up with Elysia and her other, larger child on a daily basis. Women were mad.
/But then, you wouldn’t know about that, would you?/
Ed almost jumped five feet in the air as Hughes knelt, grabbed him, pulled him unbearably close- and then began rubbing his chest with a wet towel. Again Maes was oblivious, but Ed could have sworn that the hell child was smirking at him. It had only been weeks since it clicked to Ed that he didn’t actually like girls, and Maes /was/ a very attractive man... Hell, it was stupid but this kind of wet, male on male bathroom encounter was a little too raw to deal with right now-
“Uh, it’s okay thanks Hughes, I should go back before Al worries, see you later!” He garbled, face as red as his coat and almost ran to get his boots on. Maes stood there for a second, looking blankly at the spot where the Fullmetal Alchemist had been standing a mere three seconds ago.
"Don't you want a lift?"
"No thanks!" The door opened, and slammed. Sigh.
“Well, Elysia!” He said turning, smiling, “Looks like Daddy will have to ask Uncle Roy next time!”