the lament of the pretty baby (siliziumleben) wrote in fm_alchemist,
the lament of the pretty baby

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A ghost between them.

Crossposted to fma_yaoi.

Well, well! I finally managed to write something without deleting it the day after. Go me.
This is Roy/Ed, completely pointless, without any real plot, and completely dumb. I apologise ... But I just wanted to post a new piece of fanfiction here ... I will continue this story, so this is part one.
People might think that Ed is OOC. But I think, Ed has raging hormones and that he will behave like a lovesick schoolgirl when he falls for someone. Well, not just for someone ... +smirks+
The small poem at the beginning is written by me and it's a Haiku (with the 5-7-5 sheme).

A ghost between us.

Love is seeping through
Ev’ry single touch we share
makes us drown further.

Because the other’s hands were over his own, gloved fingers stroking over gloved ones, and eyes were locked, golden and black, his and his. Because the mere feeling of Roy’s breath on his lips made Edward’s own breath hitch and the sight of the Colonel leaning towards him made his lips quiver in anticipation, and they were merely inches apart.

A brief silence followed, in which Roy arched an elegant eyebrow.

Ed froze. Crushes were not meant to have elegant eyebrows - it was off-putting.

The fine lines in Roy’s cheekbones and jaw reflected the light like an oil painting, almost glowing in their perfection. His black hair was painted with silvery reflections of the sunset light which flooded the whole office.
Ed wondered how it would feel to have such dark hair. Black hair, like the Colonel’s. Hair in which every ray of light was lost and didn’t find a way out, awestruk by the beauty of the silken strands.

Of course, Ed didn’t really know that Roy’s hair was silken. But ... he was very sure. Hair like the Colonel’s just was silken. Certain things couldn’t be explained.

He should, he knew, lash out against the invasion of his personal space (after all, he usually stayed a good six inches from anyone), but... But...

He needed little comforts like a nice mug of tea on a cold evening or the simple presence of someone else’s touch.

No. Not just someone. The someone who was with him now, here, somehow leaning over him in the office, with himself leaning with the back against the edge of the mahagony-desk.
It felt so natural as to be almost frightening.

Edward just had to reach out a little bit, and he could touch Roy’s chest.
However, no matter how strong the temptation of touching Roy was, Ed brought himself to whisper, ever so soft.


„Because we all had a hard time. Especially in an emotional sense.“ and Roy’s voice was hypnotic; smooth and like a pool of shadows. Edward wanted to hide in it, to drown in it, to drink from it.

But instead, Edward narrowed his eyes, as if he didn’t accept this answer. He still avoided to look into Roy’s face, as if he would lose his strenght if he looked into the Colonel’s eyes.
But his inner voice agreed with Roy.

He’d had a hard time. Hell, he had a hard year.

However, Ed seemed to have a bit of willpower left because he brought himself to whisper:
„You knew that I was longing for you all the time, didn’t you?“
It wasn’t a reproach, but still Ed couldn’t stop the heat from rising into his face. He privately wished he wasn’t that easy to embarass.

Then, Roy shattered the pause which had developed between the two of them. He slid his hands, which had rested on top of Edward’s all the time, up to Ed’s shoulders. The feeling of Roy’s hands and their pressure against the fabric of Ed’s shirt were almost too much to bear and Edward was nearly moaning alone from this touch.

Then, he did something which made Edward almost jump from suprise. Roy traced Ed’s lips with one gloved finger, making Ed shudder from this entirely new sensation. Roy's fingers were warm, even through the fabric. An inner source seemed to warm them, burning Ed from the inside and the outside.

Edward couldn’t stand all the tension any longer, so he just grabbed Roy by the collar of his uniform and kissed him in a passionate manner, desperate, hopelessly desperate.
At first, Roy was too stunned to react, but then his lips finally moved against Ed’s and they were lost, in each kiss, in each touch and the most in each other.

What they did had nothing to do with something like love, but the burning longing for closeness. They simply wanted to be close to one another, and the best way to express such closeness was physical nearness. On the shoulders of those who were near to them, they had never been able to lean on, and the others still tried to act as usual, which prohibited any kind of closeness. So they hid their desires, like fishes in a crowd which were afraid to touch the other one. The result was an emotional dryness, without any intimate touching, gentleness or sexual satisfaction.

There was almost too much beauty in this; in their touches, in the darkness that surrounded them. The darkness engulfed them, sheltered them from the world. Sheltered them from the harshness, and inside the darkness, there were just the two of them, pulled so close together that they seemed to melt into one. Sharing touches which were almost too loving, too gentle to be real.

And even if the two of them had completely different experiences when it came to sex, they felt the pureness of the first time. They stroked, massaged, licked and kissed not like women did, but how women should have done. But also this thought dissolved quickly, slipped away like water under Roy's hands on Edward's bare skin. Fingers tangled in hair, black and golden, eyes locked once more, black and golden, and the touches and kisses were done blindly, because the other’s body was as familar as the own.

When Roy’s tongue brushed his own, Edward knew that they had crossed the line and stepped into an area called „prohibited“. Was there -despite all this closeness- a ghost between them? A ghost called „something is missing“?
Yes, there was.

But they were able to live with ghosts.


of Part One.
(Yes, I’ll continue this. Be very afraid.)


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