Yumiko: The Yaoi Hunter (yumikoyoshihana) wrote in fm_alchemist,
Yumiko: The Yaoi Hunter

Meta!Crack: An FMA fangirl's Dream

The result of a wandering mind, boring science class, paper, and a pencil. Yea. My friend read this, ad she loved it, so I hope you do too

TITLE: Meta!Crack: An FMA Fangirl's Dream
Author: yumikoyoshana
PAIRING: None (as of now)
WARNINGS: Total and complete meta crack. Like, I'm not ven trying or cannon here, folks. Random musing from a dangerous mind.
BETA: Psh.... beta...
SUMMARY: A strange girl is following Ed around, much to his annoyence, when they meet up with Colonel Mustang. Its amusing, trust me.
A/N: I have a horse named roy (ya...I know) This may not seem important, but it is.

Meeting Roy mustang.

Ed kicked a can lying on the street. Why was this stupid girl following him? He had no idea who se was, and she was always staring at him. He sighed, knowing wht the bastard colonel would say.

'Well Fullmetal, despite your... shortcommings, you seemed to have bagged yourself a girlfriend...'


A badly concealed snort of laughter erupted behind him and he whirled around. The source of the giggle, however, was fiddling with somthing in her messenger bag. Ed scowled. That was another thing. That messenger bag had a picture of him AND that Colonel Bastard on the front. She had hit him when he tried to grab it from her. Hard. He still had a bump.

He was rubbing the back of his head absently, still scowling, when he heard the most hated voice in the world.

"There you are fullmetal. Late again I see. Of course, having such short legs must really be a hinderence."


"Oh....my....God..." came a soft whisper from behind Ed.

Mustang looked behind his subordanate at the girl standing behind him. She looked positively awstruck, he noted, with no small amount of smugness.

There was a long silence, punctuated only buy the restles pawing of a horse behind Roy.

"OMGITZ ROY-CHAN!!!!!!" she screamed suddenly running directly towards the man.

Ed was shocked. Roy was speachless.

'...chan?' Roy though, a bit perturbed at the familiarity. He took a step back as she ran headlong at him. He panicked, frozen. He hoped she wouldn't cause him bodily injury.

She ran all out toward him.

Then past him

Strait to the horse behind him.

More silence. Ed Stared. Roy stared. The girl fed the horse peppermints and petted his nose.

Then came the laughter. It was loud. It was merciless. It was the sound of someone enjoing the best blackmail In. The. World.

"Th great....(laughter) Womanizer (snort) Roy Mustang (more laughter) Bested (wheeze) By (wheeze) a HORSE!!!!?"

A tick appeard on roy's vien, but he ignored the comment.

"So, Fullmetal. Who's your friend?"

Eddward Elric shut up. He muttered something incoherently.

"Sorry? I don't believe I heard you Fullmetal.' The colonel replied with a smirk.

"I SAID I don't have a goddamned clue who she is. She just showed up out of nowere and starrted spazzing and --"

"Its not spazzing, its called fangirling." piped up a matter of fact voice.


"Fangirling - acting in a spaztic manner around an object of obsession, and image of an obsession, or during a conversation of the obsession. For Example," She walked up to Roy.

"ZOMGITZ ROY MUSTANG! RIGHT HERE!!! ZOMG!! AAH....AH...AIIIIIIII! He's Sh0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o smexxy!!!! *sighswoonfaint*"

Ed Stared.

Roy Stared.

The girl got up and looked at them.


"What. The. Hell. Was. THAT!?"

She looked at Ed blankly. "I told you, that was fangirling. Well, I mean, that was mild. You should see my rabid fangirl rants. Tose ca be interesting."

*dusts off hands*thats what I got. Wuddya think?

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