Luna, Mei or Rei take your pick (unmei_no_laluna) wrote in fm_alchemist,
Luna, Mei or Rei take your pick

[Fic] The Things Said About Him.

Well here I go. I gave this teaser a while ago but Now it's time for the real deal. O_o sorry it's so long. I hope you enjoy. please correct any typo's and spelling. This'll be archived at Alchemic Scriptures later on so that is where my final fully edited version will go :D So enjoy! Oh and I do warn any of my friends that peek onto this journal that if you don't like Yaoi then please don't read..... I lub you all......

Title: The Things Said About Him
Pairing: Roy x Edward
Spoilers: None
Notes: I don't own the characters I just like playing with them. A lot.
Rating: PG-13 maybe higher due to heavily implied sexual acts, Edwards Language.... :D
Archived: Only at Alchemic Scriptures

When it came down to writing the simplest of words about a person that bothered him the most the slightest frown crept across his features. He found himself simply recalling all the past occurrences they’ve met under and all the things they could remember. Scratching the inked pen against paper’s once smooth surface he wrote:

God Complex
Foul Mouthed Brat
Waste of Time and Money
Penny pincher
The one who will end up sending me to an early grave.
Only thinks of himself.

Though he wrote these things the next question that faced him allowed him to calm down. Making a face he calmly read to him-self, ‘Despite the negatives state something positive about this person’. Sighing softly the pen reached the papers surface to scribble in:

I love him for being the way he is.

Roy Mustang left the anger management office sharply at 10 minutes to 11 AM. His paper work filled out he calmly glanced around after straightening out his shirt collar. His dark eyes noticed the hulking suit of armor that sat on the stairs towards one side. A pigeon sat on the armor cooing at the eye sockets that vacantly looked back at it. Smirking to himself he knew who else was inside the offices that day but simply said nothing spotting Hawkeye dutifully awaiting him with his car.

Grumbling of the stupidity of the questions Edward Elric left the same offices at least 10 minutes after 11 AM. He virtually stomped down the steps towards his brother. His hands thrust deeply into the pockets of his bright red coat, and a dark scowl covered his face. Lightly using his right arm he punched the armors shoulder and snorted, “Come on Al this was a waste of time… let’s go get something to eat…”

Alphonse or Al for short looked up from where he was sitting and carefully got to his feet, “So, brother what happened in there?”

“They wanted to talk to me about my anger issues with the Colonel…”

“Well I guess that’s a good thing you always seem to upset to see him…” the armor replied looking around then followed after his shorter, older brother.

Edward scoffed a bit then rolled his eyes, “I am not always upset to see him! But he doesn’t have to act like a jerk every time we meet!” Growing angrier, the young Alchemist waved his auto mailed fist in the air rapidly. “I swear the next time he looks at me with a pompous smirk on his face I’m going to hit him!”

‘… Oh Ed… you always say that but you never actually do….’ Alphonse sighed to himself then shook his head slowly. “So Ed where to do you want to go eat?”

“Eh… Doesn’t matter.” he grumbled then rubbed the side of his head while calming down.



Edward’s left eye twitched in annoyance hearing the casually suave voice float over from near the large window. Inwardly he knew the next words would be somewhere along the line of a short joke or some comment about spending money to fund a wild goose chase. His whole body tensed like a cat ready to pounce with a snappy come back for the older man’s normally condescending words.

“… Tell me do you have any plans for later?” Roy asked casually, while glancing over his shoulder as if had asked the youngest State Alchemist for the time of day or to pass him a pen.

Well that definitely took him by surprise as he sat there blinking at him, “…uh… well… not really…” He continued to blink, feeling his face grow warm, then looked down at his gloved hands as they fiddled with one another over his lap. “What kind of a question is that anyways?”

Roy smirked slightly watching the embarrassment grow across Ed’s features. The Colonel leaned against his desk and slightly shrugged, “I can’t invite you out to dinner for once in your life? After all we have so much catching up to do…”

“Fine… when should I meet you….” he gruffly replied and pouted in a very childlike manor. Once the Colonel told him where to meet at he promptly left the office and trotted to the Inn to tell Alphonse. It wasn’t as if his younger brother had to eat, so inwardly he knew that he was going to be sitting, alone having dinner with the most hated man next to his father tonight.


The place of Roy’s choosing wasn’t a complete dive, nor was it ultra fancy. Edward tilted his head slightly and studied the exterior of the building and it’s almost French sounding name. ‘Damn it Mustang… what in hell are you thinking asking to meet at a place like this…’ Ed thought to himself frowning, but was soon interrupted by the gloved hand that gently wrapped itself over his non-auto-mailed shoulder. Looking up he noticed the suave smirk that gave him goose bumps, not to mention a sick to his stomach feeling, completely within his visual range.

“I hope I didn’t keep you waiting Fullmetal,” Roy replied casually without care if he had or not. The much smaller alchemist noticed the tone in his voice and his eye twitched in annoyance. Grumbling to himself without much notice or care by Mustang the pair made their way inside.

After a rather short wait the two state Alchemists were lead towards the seating away from the windows in what looked to Ed like the perfect place for a romantic evening. The inside of the eating establishment wasn’t as bad as the outside, very relaxing and home-like, the type of place you wanted things to be if you were out on a special night. Ed noticed they reached the table when he saw Roy remove his trademark gloves and long black coat. As the younger Alchemist was about to remove his trademark coat he paused and stared at the seat in front of him.

“WHO-DO-YOU-THINK-IS-SO-SHORT-THAT-THEY-NEED-A-KIDDIE-BOOSTER-SEAT!?!?!?!” he screeched while throwing his hands in the air and basically hopped up and down looking for someone to start punching into the ground. Eventually the booster seat was removed only to Ed’s dismay that he actually needed it. But he was prideful and wouldn’t allow himself to admit that he was too small for this seat. And so with his height at the table it basically stopped near his chest. After ordering their meals (both from the adult menu of course) the pair relaxed slightly and attempted to enjoy one another’s company.

“So why did you ask me out for dinner Colonel….”

Roy looked up from studying the stitching on his gloves wondering if they needed repairs done, when Ed’s voice broke him from his thoughts. Chuckling softly to himself he carefully moved aside the candleholder and small vase of flowers that blocked the military Colonel’s view of his most interesting subordinate. Leaning forward he glanced at Edward, slouched within the chair looking far smaller then usual. “ I felt that it was something I should do for you…”


“Besides…” Roy continued to speak, “If my information is correct today is your birthday is it not? Hughes told me you where rather forgetful on the subject.”

Edward felt his cheeks grow warm as a blush crept across his face. Looking away he shyly glanced at the Colonel and spoke up once he was sure that Roy had finished speaking, “Colonel…um…. Thank you I guess… I suppose it was rather generous of you.”

“Doesn’t matter.” He replied casually then looked at Edwards blushing features. “How goes the hunt for that elusive item?” the older state alchemist asked as he sat up more to receive the bottle of wine the waiter was bringing over.

“Well… It’s as elusive as ever. All my leads bring up dead ends and falsely created ones.” Ed spoke growing ever more curious about the liquid being poured into the intricate glass within view. “But… I suppose it’s a good thing…. It’s too dangerous to have these fake stones laying about.”

“I agree they are rather an interesting problem. Well then I suppose that the money we spend on your research and travel does benefit the state after all.” Roy replied slowly offering Ed the glass of deep red colored wine. “I think your old enough to handle it…”

Shyly Ed took the glass and held it within both hands then slowly sniffed at it. The scent of the wine made him feel strange but he watched as Roy admired the color by candlelight then carefully took a sip. Ed still holding onto his glass carefully ducked his head down and looked into the glass at the candle. His eyes opened slightly wider and he blushed more, noticing that the color looked very much like the color described as being the legendary Philosopher’s Stone. Glancing over to one side, his face nearly became as red as the wine as he discovered the Colonel watching him closely as if waiting to see if he would drink.

Nodding his head in thanks, he slowly started to drink it down, but much to his surprise too much at once was never a good thing. He coughed hard as the wine made it’s way forcefully down his throat. Edward made sure to place the glass in a safe place as he lightly pounded on his chest to clear the passage way once again. Panting slightly, he shyly looked towards Roy who seemed to be settling back in. ‘Was… he worried about me choking like that?’ the young alchemist wondered then sat up better and spoke up, “I’m fine I just drank it too quickly…”

“I see… well do take your time with it… after all the night is still young…”


The night was young all right, but then again so was Edward Elric. Being young and inexperienced in drinking alcohol made for an interesting turn of events. Firstly, after their meal the young alchemist was so wobbly on his feet he could barely stand under his own power. His speech became slurred as well and he giggled, a lot. Needless to say Roy Mustang had a good laugh at this and helped Edward out of the restaurant. The Colonel knew that he couldn’t very well just bring Edward back to the dorm rooms where his brother was awaiting. Too many questions as to what he was doing with a drunken minor, correction former minor after all it was Fullmetal’s birthday. Either way it was questions that Mustang really didn’t wish to answer at this time of night.

It wasn’t that far of a walk to his abode but dragging a state alchemist that lugged two full metal prosthetic limbs didn’t make for a walk in the park. Ed lolled his head to one side and hiccupped before giggling at the drunkenness in his own voice.

“…Coooooooolllllllllooooooonnnnnnnneeeeeeeeeelllllllll?” the drunken blonde’s voice assaulted the older mans ears, “…..diid Ii… EvEr Tehll YooOou tHhHoaT yaoUhuhhuhR sspesjIaL” He giggled a bit and raised his arm as if to punch the very air, “… tooo MmMe?”

Roy blinked and looked at Ed as his head dropped down. After a moment of trying to decipher what the young man told him he smiled softly, “No… you never really did… Edward…”

“wehll, yOooUh are. yooOou Areh vehry sSzzsssPEciawl to mmmmme, bEcjaUhseh Ii LOoove yooOouhhu.”


Smiling softly he helped the young man inside of his home and towards a bathroom. He noticed that Ed was looking a little pale and being drunk in the past Roy knew what step came next. Sure enough no more then five minutes after helping Edward towards the bathtub did his stomach bring up part of dinner. Reaching over Roy turned on the water and began working on sobering up the smaller alchemist.

Now slightly soaked and shivering Edward sat there on the bathroom floor and looked around slowly with his golden eyes. “... Where… am I?” he asked softly while holding his head to stop the room from spinning. It wasn’t until he smelled carrot juice beneath his nose did he realize that he wasn’t alone. Jerking his head up quickly he found himself face to face with Mustang. Edward blushed brightly and carefully took the cup in his hand watching the Colonel kneel behind him and work on drying his hair.

“Your in my house… I think I allowed you to drink too much alcohol and well, I didn’t think you wanted your little brother seeing you in that way… I called him and told him you wanted to discuss things about the Philosophers Stone with me. He believed it anyways.” Roy replied and slowly worked on drying Ed’s hair.

Sniffing at the carrot juice he made a face then slowly began drinking it and listened to the Colonel’s words. He continued to blush as the darker haired man dried out his hair, “I… didn’t say anything odd…did I?”

“Like confessing your love to me? No nothing odd….” he replied casually then smirked in that smug way that pissed Edward off beyond belief.

“I did what?!” Ed cried out horrified then quickly held his head and groaned.

Chuckling Roy gently pulled Ed into his arms and picked him up, “Careful… your probably still suffering with a hang over…” Ed’s face was a bright red as he slowly looked up at the Colonel before gently leaning against him. From his new vantage point Edward quietly watched as Roy made his way past the obvious guest rooms and into the master chamber.

Ed was promptly settled onto the bed and nearly forced to lie back as the older man tossed the blankets on top of him. Moving towards the other side of the bed Roy carefully climbed in till he felt Edward’s hands against his shoulder blades.

“W-what are you doing?!” he cried out a bit panicked.

“What does it look like? I’m trying to go to bed…”

“But I’m in the same bed you idiot! Why couldn’t you put me in a guest room!”

Roy sighed softly and shuffled under the blankets as if removing a few things. “I would have… But the rooms are being fixed up and I’m not putting you out on the couch… it’s too cold down there… Now stop complaining and get some sleep…”

Ed glared at the back of Roy’s head, “How do you expect me to get some sleep when you’re right there!”

“That isn’t really my problem is it…” he grumbled then rolled over to look at Edward, “Or are you having that much trouble controlling your hormones that you can’t sleep…”

The younger of the two alchemists blushed brightly and looked down nervously. “Shut up that’s not true….”

“Oh really now… I bet right now you have such a hard on your practically begging for attention…”

“S-shut up!” Edward squeaked in defiance towards Roy’s words. But deep down he knew that he was feeling very uncomfortable at the moment. And that discomfort was only getting worse the more he thought about it. Quickly he turned his back towards Roy and stared out at the room ahead of him. His heart pounded against his rib cage, as he thought about being in the Colonel’s bed, with his superior after a night of drinking.


“… W-what…”

“Just admit that you have a hard-on right now so we can both get some rest…”

Ed’s face grew warmer hearing that and his heart raced faster. “I… wont’ admit to anything!” he snapped shutting his eyes and squirmed on the bed trying to will away his own erection.

Roy watched Ed squirm from his side of the bed and smirked slightly. Carefully he pulled himself over and leaned in to gently nibble at Ed’s ear. Edward jumped in surprise and looked back up at Roy with a flustered look on his face. Even if he was still recovering from his hang over the attention to his ear was still enough to cause a small moan to escape his lips, just seconds before coming face to face with Mustang.

To the Colonel’s credit he played his hand well, the moan that Edward had made it very clear to both that this was a turn on. Smirking almost devilishly he leaned in to do so again, that was until he had a face full of auto-mail. Even if Edward hadn’t hit him it was obviously enough to him that the youth was still embarrassed about his situation. Calmly he moved the hand from his face, “Edward…You really should stop denying your-self the simple pleasures in life…”

“But… Alphonse…”

“He would want you to be happy even if he isn’t returned to normal yet… besides…. I get the feeling he knows more then he lets on…”

Ed blushed once again and looked down nervously, like anyone who was going to have their first time would have. Roy chuckled softly at just how childish the younger alchemist really was. “And here I thought the great ‘Fullmetal Alchemist’ would welcome a new task or challenge….”
“So is that all I am?” he snorted back at the Colonel.

Roy simply smirked once more and carefully moved Edward onto his back positioning himself on top. Edward blushed more and felt a set a fingers probe him around the tight ring of flesh. Letting out a soft hiss, the blonde youth tried to move out from under his superior (in ranks only by his standards). The Flame Alchemist didn’t budge as he continued to probe the sensitive area of Edwards’ body then began applying the proper amounts of lubrication. Watching the young blonde buck and squirm beneath him was simply adding to his enjoyment of the situation they found themselves in. Ed on the other hand kept trying to put distance between Roy’s fingers and his rear despite how good it started feeling after a while.

By the time the Fullmetal Alchemist had actually started to enjoy the work done on him by the older man, the good feeling left him tingling with the anticipation for more. Letting out a slight growl he narrowed his eyes at Roy as if demanding to know why stopped. Roy simply ignored the impatient actions of younger man and simple worked on spreading Ed’s legs and positioned his slender hips with aid of a pillow he used for just such an occasion.

“Now just relax…” Mustang calmly warned and positioned himself on top of Edward while holding firmly onto his hips.

Blinking in confusion Ed watched curiously while asking, “Relax for whaaaa-ow-ow-ow stop!!”

Roy sighed in annoyance keeping his position and not pushing any further even though all he wanted was to bury himself inside the other man and get on with the main event. “What now Edward?”

“What the hell are you pushing into me?!”

“My dick now relax and let me do all the work…..”

“Your what?!” he shrieked at Roy then groaned forgetting he still had a slight hang over. Looking at Flame Alchemist closely he blushed a bit before asking, “…are…… you wearing a Condom……”

“…… what are you a woman? Fine I’ll go get one if you’ll just relax already……” he growled in annoyance since it was taking far too long for his taste. Pulling away he climbed off the bed leaving Edward exposed to the night air on the bed and stormed over to his dresser retrieving the piece of rubber that was requested. Annoyingly ripping it open and working it on to his length, Mustang marched back over and got back to where he was before, “Now do as I say, relax and no more complaining …..”

Flustered for a moment Edward tried to come back with a witty remark towards his superior officer, but that was soon cut short as Roy began pushing in with a tad more force then he originally started with. Crying out as he felt his body stretch to accommodate the other mans much larger cock, he lightly hit at Roy’s chest with his human hand and moaned out insults as well as a few obscene curses at him.

There was grumbling, but that soon turn to groaning. Then eventually moaning as Edward began to relax and get in rhythm of the older alchemists’ movements. Even moaning he couldn’t help but insult the other man. Roy paid no mind to Edwards abusive words, in fact if he hadn’t heard them it would be right. There was one thing that Mustang knew well, words can lie but actions can’t. And it was that truth in his own mind that knew Edward meant nothing by these words at all.


Alphonse Elric looked up as he heard the door open to the room he shared with his brother. A new day had started and Edward was only just now returning to their temporary home in Central. From inside his hollow shell he smiled at his brother and softly chuckled, “Your back late brother…. Or should I say early?” He paused although he had no real need to and then asked, “How was your dinner with the Colonel?”

Edward looking over and grumbled as he removed his messy hair from the braid. “I don’t want to think about it Alphonse… He’s the most infuriating person on the face of the planet…” With his back towards the suit of armor that housed his younger brothers soul, the young alchemist grinned to himself. It had after all been one of the more interesting birthday gifts he's been given yet. But he would never admit that to anyone.
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