I run on coffee and impatience (melts) wrote in fm_alchemist,
I run on coffee and impatience
melts
fm_alchemist

This is what FMA does to your brain......

This is actually a couple of weeks old, but being the procrastinator that I am, I'm posting it just now. It's basically an AIM RPG-esque conversation in which SV_chan and I explore what happens when Hawkeye and Roy get together, and it's found out that he's useless?? Worse still...what if Hughes walked in on them...and sets up a fatal chain reaction as he spreads the news around??? Would the military still stay intact??? read on and find out..

Inspired by this


Hughes: OH!! Roy, you naughty boy, you. So that's what you've been hiding

Riza: You are so incompetient! I told you to be more secerative, Colonel.
Roy: .............

Hughes: OOP!..no worries there, colonel! I'll make sure everyone knows of this... *salutes* *leaves* oh major Armstrong...
Roy: NOOOOOOOOOOO----!!!
Ed: what's going on here now??
Al: Nii-san...I think Colonel Mustang-san is hiding a girl in his office......
Ed: what else is new? I found his stash of porn last week.
Hughes: Oh, but it's a very *special* girl.
Ed: who's the trashy, easy, stupid, desperate idiot with him??
Riza: *anger vein* ......
Roy: o_O; ::backs away::

Ed: *continues talking*...I mean, if it wasn't for the porn magazines, I doubt the colonel would get much action beyond that.....all he does is smooch with his pillow *imitates that...Al sweatdrops*..."OOH!! I'm such a hot colonel, everyone wants me...lalallal"...idiot....*continues rambling*
Al: Ni-san...that's not very nice."
Ed: Better than being that stupid horny man. or that trashy harlot who's with him and stupid enough to think he's hot stuff.
Armstrong: ::sobs:: Oh, Colonel! You have seduced a young maiden! I cannot believe it!

Hughes: yesh... I doubt this "special lady" is half as good as my wife....
Armstrong: *more sobbing and sparkles* Colonel, you have shamed the honor of the military...my family would be most upset!! *WAH*
Roy: F-First Lieutenent.... ::squeak::
Riza: ::fumes::
Roy: *more sqeaking*....I...I'm sure they meant nothing by that.............it was an accident.....really......
Al: Ni-san....you shouldn't talk about people like that. You don't know what you're saying.
Ed: I do! I mean everything ONE HUNDRED PERCENT!
Roy: Eeeeee~~ ::hides under the sheets::
Al: but I'm sure that it's a very NICE trashy harlot who's with him.......
Ed: oh please......the other day...I saw him ogling at some... *trails off..as shadow appears*
Riza: MAJOR EDWARD ELRIC~~~.............*fume*
Ed: ....... ::sweatdrops, seeing the large shadow:: ehh...?
Armstrong: ::sobs:: Miss Hawkeye! Please put on some more decent clothing! The bathrobe is not appropriate for such an environment with a lecherious man around!
Hughes: oy! ROY!! I would think you'd be a little more generous to your future wife!!
Roy: she's not my future wife!!

meanwhile...riza is still fuming...at ed.....*gulp*

Ed: U-um....F-f-first lieutenent....w-w-w-what are you doing here? A-and why are y-you so angry looking?
Al: ;_; She's scary....
Riza:...what did you say about that "trashy harlot" who's with the colonel??
Ed: Um...t-that she had no taste in men and probably had some brain problem...but I-I don't s-see why y-you're s-so mad...u-unless you're a r-really big f-feminist w-who th-thinks that s-she's not stupid...
Roy: .......... ::crawls under the bed::

Hughes: oy...how did I forget my manners?? *ahem* Edward-kun....meet.....Roy's "special lady"
AL: uh....um...nii---nii-san??.....I don't like how Lietenant Hawkeye is holding that gun......
Ed: ::sweatdrops:: HER?! L-lietenant! Lemmie explain! I never meant to...! (the rest is really fast speech mashed together)

Hughes: OY! Don't be so surprised, Edward-kun. After all..it's only a matter of time until Colonel Mustang meets his special someone......*whispers* don't act so jealous.....
Riza: Edward............*raises gun*
Roy: *squeak........hiding under sheets still*
Riza: I'll teach you a thing or two about talking about a woman properly! ::starts shooting at Ed::
Ed: EEK! ::runs around, dodging bullets::
AL: nii-san...I told you you shoulding talk about people that way....
Hughes: *turns toward Roy*....O_O..wow..you picked quite a little firecracker.... Roy: ........."little" isn't the half of it....
Hughes: Man...who'da thunk you two had great chemistry?
Ed: HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Armstrong: What precision! What grace! What speed! It makes me weep to see such perfection, Miss Hawkeye! Mister Edward!
Ed: SHUT UP AND HELP ME!!
Riza: YOU DIE NOW, PUNK!!!!
Armstrong: but Mister Edward, that would be cheating to help you in fighting your own battles in life! As my grandfather Armstrong the first said.....*trails off*
Edward: You're so useless!
Roy: ._. ..........
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