Pairing: Alfons Heiderich x Edward Elric
Warnings: This takes place after the end of the series, so there are some movie spoilers if you don't know who Alfons Heiderich is and certain things about him, possibly, maybe...it's rated R for "resounding!" Just kidding, it's rated R for a reason, K?
Notes: This can be seen as a follow up to my other fics, Here in Munchen and The Science of Things, but they don't have to be read in order to understand this one, though I really would enjoy your feedback on the other two if you haven't already read them! Thanks! I hope you enjoy!
Breathe in…come on, breathe…I have to remember to breathe…was all Alfons could think as the spasm shook his lungs, threatening to turn into a violent fit of coughing, which was sure to cause alarm for his bed partner. His body was shaking, trying to hold back the tearing in his chest, the tickle that was more like clawing in his throat, the need to lament his illness in the language of the sick…but he quieted this need, tears forming at the corners of his eyes, rolling down the sides of his face. He did not move to brush them away as he let his body calm down. He was glad that the older blond sleeping beside him hadn’t been roused.
Alfons suddenly wanted to turn over, to watch Edward sleep…but that was too personal, too intimate—Alfons laughed at himself on the inside at the hypocrisy of it all—but he did not let Edward in on the blood running from pale hands caused by an illness that had killed thousands and that was slowly making a corpse of him, so he would allow Edward his secrets, even if they were sighing sleepily behind him, moonlit and naked…
Alfons was shocked to find himself at the window, staring out, never remembering crawling out of bed or walking across the wood floor barefoot. But he was there nevertheless, gazing into the heavens—if an atheist could call them that, he mused—wondering if he would ever be able to reach those stars. With a glance back at the dark corner of the room, seeing a shadow in the shape of a flawed young man asleep, Alfons knew it was possible. Maybe it would not happen before he died, before he left and never returned, but with Edward here, everything had potential. It would be up to himself to reach that potential, he thought stoically.
He nearly jumped out of his goose-fleshed skin when a strong arm wrapped around his waist. He was too deep in his thoughts to even realize that Edward had woken up and crossed the small room. Edward was rarely this affectionate off of the mattress, and Alfons realized when he craned his neck back that the older boy was still half asleep.
“What’re you thinking about..?” came hot words whispered somewhere near Alfons’ shoulder blades as he tried not to shiver. As lips met his back, though, his only reply was that of movement.
Edward was pliable as Alfons turned around, morphing from one position to the next, allowing Alfons room and at the same time pressing in on him. The younger blond found himself half-sitting on the window ledge, his arms wrapped around Ed’s shoulders, at once regretting his bare backside perched on rough wood and silently praising the fact that he was already divested of anything that would hinder their movements. God, a little part of him wanted the room to be lit, wanted whoever was in the street below to catch their silhouettes profaning a non-existent god, wanted someone—anyone, but maybe not the landlady—to hear everything: the sound of skin on skin, Alfons’ half-moans, the noise that Edward’s mouth was making as he worked feverishly between Alfons’ legs.
Edward had a pleased glint in his golden-brown eyes when Alfons let out a surprisingly loud moan and came, bracing his arms on the window trim. A few heavy breaths later and Edward was smothering him again, wanting, needing…almost pleading, and Alfons couldn’t help but kiss Edward’s open mouth fervently as his pale hands traveled southward on the older blond. Edward was just beginning to cry out when a series of solid knocks came from the front of their flat. They stopped, their breath held. Edward looked perturbed as Alfons stepped back so as to not accidentally make Edward moan from circumstantial contact.
“Is everything alright in there..?” they heard a sweet voice, “I thought I heard someone cry out…”
Alfons felt his face blazing, and Edward almost snickered, only stopping himself by jamming his mouth against Alfons’ shoulder. Alfons hushed the older boy quietly, afraid to say anything.
“What should I say…?” He whispered into Edward’s ear gravely.
“Shh…nothing, she’ll go away…” Edward replied sharply, his fit of giggles subsiding.
“No, she’ll think something’s wrong and come in…” Alfons’ voice was almost-panicked at the thought of someone seeing them like this—how irresponsible it was to think about having the room lit—thinking that the noises they had been making had a more malicious cause. He could see where Edward thought the whole situation was humorous, but not right in that moment, right when someone was outside their door.
“Everything is fine, thank you, I just…just stubbed my toe getting out of bed!” Alfons cleared his throat and replied loudly. Edward half-snickered again.
“Alright,” a muffled female voice answered, “sorry to bother, goodnight.” And Alfons didn’t breathe again until he was sure he heard footsteps leading down the stairs.
“You really should learn to be more quiet,” Alfons chided Edward, who was still clinging to him.
“Me?!” Edward said rather loudly, realized his folly, and continued more softly, “it was you and your big mouth that she heard, my friend…” He said and grinned as if he had won some sort of victory. Alfons didn’t like feeling like the victim, though.
Breathe…I have to remember to breathe…
“Go back to bed then. You did interrupt my stargazing…” Alfons’ voice rang colder than he had intended, and he suddenly couldn’t bear to look at Edward. He instantly wanted to erase what he had said, so that Edward would not huff a pained “fine” and slowly limp back to bed—each irregular footfall the lub-dub of Alfons’ guilty heart…
…so that he would not hear the creaking springs as the smaller boy curled up into nothing under the sheets…so that he would not hear the older blond emotionlessly use his one good hand to finish what Alfons had begun…so he would not hear the choked sob that sounded more like bitter weeping than release…
Alfons stood in the dark until he could not guess the hour. He never went back to the window, but stood staring at one of the walls near their bed, unsure of what to think so he thought nothing and everything all at the same time. When he was sure that Edward was asleep, he silently made his way back to bed, staying on the far side of the mattress to avoid the wet spot that made him wrinkle his nose in disgust—but more than disgust was the fear of the void it created. There was no rolling over to the sleeping boy and petitioning his forgiveness with whispered apologies and soft kisses…there was no awakening of golden-brown eyes bright with more than just need…
Just as Alfons willed himself to sleep, the same fit of coughing that he fought off earlier returned, and he was too disheartened to not let it wrack his body. He was sure his coughing would wake Edward, but he could only make his way to the bathroom painfully slow, alone…alone…
Breathe…I have to remember to breathe…
Edward rolled over in bed, trying to ignore the heavy sounds of Alfons’ deteriorating cough from the other room…
This fic is also cross posted to blau_und_gold and fm_alchemist. I also realized how the endings to all of my fics are somewhat the same...toh well...hope you all enjoy!