purplemewit (purplemewit) wrote in fm_alchemist,

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[Fic] Finally! - Havo-centric crackfic

Warning! This story is filled with crack!

Title: Finally!
Rating: PG
Blame: tromkehra Here's how the convo went:
lanceluver012: ... something in me wants to write a drabble about Havoc finally cracking and shooting Mustang for stealing his women
Trom Kehra: XD
Trom Kehra: do eeet!
lanceluver012: should I really?
Trom Kehra: It could turn out rather interestingly XD
lanceluver012: heee
Trom Kehra: like have it be some kind of (*censored so as to not ruin the joke at the end*) too XD
lanceluver012: XDDD
lanceluver012: I like that
lanceluver012: okay I will *fires up Word*
Spoilers: none
Summary: Havoc has his revenge for Mustang stealing all his women... or does he?
Comments: ... All Trom's fault... I swear that girl is a bad influence on me.

“-And she’s got this fabulous head of red hair. She’s funny, beautiful, and she’s working for herself.” Havoc gushed. He spun in his chair, and he seemed to be walking on clouds.

“She sounds phenomenal, Havoc.” Breda said. “So when do you get to see her again?”

“Tonight!” Havoc said and almost bounced out of his chair in happiness. “I’m taking her to dinner, then to that show that just started at that new theater. ‘A Day in the Life’ I think it’s called.”

“That’s enough, gentlemen!” Colonel Mustang barked from his desk. He seemed mildly irritated by the amount of chatter. Havoc and Breda spun in their chairs to their desk, and set to their paperwork.

Later that night, Havoc was in a fresh uniform, and he took extra care in making sure the back section of the pants wasn’t wrinkled. With a bit of a whistle, he threw on his overcoat and left his apartment. He walked down the street toward her neighborhood. He didn’t even feel the need for a cigarette he was feeling so good. This was especially great since she had asked him not to smoke around her.

When he arrived, flowers in hand and a smile on his face, she seemed somewhat less than thrilled. “Jean! Er… When did you leave?” she chewed her lip.

“About twenty minutes ago, it’s a little bit of a walk here for me. Why?”

“I tried calling you but I guess you left already. Something’s come up. I can’t make it tonight…” She looked over his shoulder anxiously, as if waiting for something or someone.

“Is everything okay? Is there something I can help with?” He was starting to get a little concerned.

“No, it’s just a family thing,” she again looked around outside.

“Some other night then?” He offered.

“I’ll get back to you on that. I really don’t know what’s going…” her eyes widened at the sight of something over his left shoulder.

He turned and saw the Colonel standing there, smirking. “Oh! Hello, Second Lieutenant! What brings you here?”

“Colonel!” Havoc said, his eyes wide with surprise. “Are you related to Michelle?”

“I’d have to ask you the same thing, Havoc,” Mustang said.

Michelle, meanwhile, was blushing fiercely, both hands at her mouth.

The two men stared at each other for a moment. Havoc was trying to figure out what was going on.

Then it clicked.

“I don’t believe this…” he dropped his head, shaking it, then ran a hand through his hair. “Did it again, did you, Colonel?” he started the process of lighting a cigarette.

“It depends on what you think I did.” The Colonel still kept that look on his face, one that said only too clearly to Havoc that he knew all too well what he’d done.

“Michelle, could you close the door please? I need a moment with my superior officer.” By this time he had the cigarette lit, and he slid his hands into the pockets of his overcoat.

“Er… sure!” she slammed the door shut.

Havoc looked down at his slightly shorter superior. He still had that cocky grin on his face.

“With as much respect as I feel is due you at this point, sir, I’ve had enough of this. I’m going to have to ask you to stop.”

“And why would I do that?” the Colonel folded his arms and his face adopted an even more cocky grin.

“Because I’d otherwise be forced to do this,” Havoc unsnapped the holster on his hip and pulled out his gun.

“Lieutenant! What are you-!” the Colonel took a couple steps back, reaching into his pockets for his ignition gloves.

“Too slow, sir.”

Two shots, and the problem was solved. Havoc simply turned and left. A moment later, he heard Michelle’s scream.

Havoc’s head jerked up off his desk. “Second Lieutenant Jean Havoc!” Hawkeye barked. She held his pen cup in her hand, and it seemed like she had just finished rapping it on his desk twice. “It’s difficult for the rest of us to work over your snoring!”

“Er, right! Sorry!” he scratched the back of his head, and pulled his papers more toward him.

“What’s that smile for, Havoc? Dreaming about that girl you met yesterday?” Breda teased.

“Yeah… I was.” He grinned to himself, and when he glanced over at the Colonel with that look on his face, he raised an eyebrow in confusion, but then bent back over his work.

I hope you like it!

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