Titania (jinxia) wrote in fm_alchemist,

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On crack and pairings - Edited! (contains SPOILERS)




Yup, says it right there... Hence I shall present you with this crack-ified icon and of course a little bit more crack on my standings about FMA pairings.

(please don't take it - yet! I will release the icons one by one as I make newer ones)

I'm also giving up the Technicolor!Scar up for grab.


Now not to make this too spam-ified, I shall present you my thoughts about the pairings that are common in FMA - hetero, yaoi and yuri included. These are the list of what kind of relationship they'd be living if they get together. Enjoy! (Original post was found in the fullmetal-alchemist.com forum under the name Dingbat - that's me!)

Roy/Riza: Their relationship will be based mostly on trust and devotion - that much is clear. She'd do anything for him to get to the top and he would do anything to protect her in return. I don't think their love life will be full of office sex although I wish it would but more of a reserved, quiet relationship. A hug, hand-holding and maybe a soft kiss. Behind doors however... that's a different story considering how experienced Roy is.

Ed/Win: Hmm, they mutually like each other (in manga) much more than they do in the anime. Young love, eh? A loud, bright relationship I can see. They care for each other deeply but are too proud to show it. Expect a lot of banter and wrench fighting in this one.

Ling/Lan Fan: Somewhat of a Roy/Riza type, but much funnier due to the Ling factor. I see this pairing as a funny teenage-romance one or the more serious "I love you but I can't have you" type - due to the fact that Ling is a prince and Lan Fan is his guardian. Their social status is far too different and Lan Fan will use all her might to not cross that gap, despite Ling's affection.

Hughes/Gracia: They're married! End of story.

Ross/Brosch: He's too clumsy and clueless for his own good, but I can see lots of humour coming from this pairing. Alas Ross will probably be the one wearing the pants in this relationship. But that's alright, cause an uke!Brosch is just too CUTE! XD

Roy/Hughes: Now for this the premise MUST be Pre-series and/or Pre-Gracia. Preferably during the Ishval massacre. Anything after Hughes get married is just a no-no, and it won;t work after Ep. 25/Ch. 15 anyway. I see them more as "friends with benefit" rather than lovers.

Roy/Ed: Blame the doujinshi for making me a supporter of a sadistic Roy X_X I can't picture them having lovey-dovey scene. They both get on each other's nerves so much that it becomes awkward. A non-con type of love is the most plausible and justifiable, IMO.

Ed/Envy: This is almost like Ed/Winry (expect a LOT of fights and banters) but Envy would probably realize how sweet Edward his ototou is and we can expect some cuddly lovin' XD In the manga however, I'd say it has to be another non-con relationship, especially after chapter 51.

Ed/Al (Elricest): Al is just so devoted to his nii-san that one might think of it as bordering obsessive. By this pairing I mean a human! Al and not Robo!Al. Preferable post-series, as they are still so young and the premise just don't give a way for this pairing in the anime or manga. The only time Robo!Al/Ed pairing might work in a dark story. e.g in this doujin called "Linus" or in a light shounen-ai story which I don't read due to the weird thoughts that keep entering my head afterward

Havoc/Ed: This is so OTP but I'll admit they look drop dead sexy together XD I can see a relationship that is full of banter but also full of affection. Almost a complete opposite of Roy/Ed. I can see Ed blushing around Havoc, and he getting all clumsy around Ed due to the... cracked nature of their relationship. Thanks to crack_alchemist I can't get that "Ever lick an ashtray?" line out of my head! XD

Havoc/Fuery: Similar to Roy/Ed, but Fuery's innocence just might be Havoc's undoing. All blushy romance and whatnot, with Havoc corrupting Fuery's mind in the background XD

Al/Win: Because Al needs some lovin' too!! This is more of an anime pairing rather than the manga, cause Ed beats Al in the manga for Winry's affection. Anime!Al seems to care more for Winry (actually he does too in the manga but Winry clearly states she loves Ed) and they both have a strong background t back up any kind of romance that might spring. Sweet love that is based on their similar traits.

Scar/Lust: Strictly anime. One can only speculate what a flirty Lust and a stern Scar would do behind those doors.

Scar/Mei: When Mei gets older I'm sure she'd repay the kindness that the Ishvarlan has shown her many years ago ;) But for now it's all for Scar!daddy luv'!!


Thanks to purplemewit I shall grace you with more!

Envy/Winry: If relationship is measured in decibels (Db), this would definitely shoot past the 200 mark. Expect them to live in a fighting arena where they have their tools of the trade ready to be used any second. Winry would be on Envy's heels forever. Even more than when she was with Ed. Envy meanwhile will tease Winry to no end and as a result we have a very loud, combustible relationship which may very well turn into a smutfest that knows no boundaries considering their hot-headed nature.

Havoc/Roy: In a relationship, Havoc will consider Roy his equal - as opposed to his superior at work. He will tease Roy and get threatened in return. The cycle will continue everyday until one of them cracks, kiss the other to shut him up and the rest is history XD

Havoc/Riza: Havoc has to be content with having Riza only when she's off-duty thanks to the bastard colonel XD I see these two more as siblings but for argument's sake, I see them having a relationship where there is no dominance. Riza would listen to all of Havoc's complaints and Havoc would follow al of Riza's advice. Also the thought of Havoc not standing down under gun point when they're in a private place is a very tempting thought ~_~

Slut!Havoc/everybody else: WE HAVE FOUND OURSELVES A PERFECT MAN! Havoc can pretty much be paired with anyone and still look good. Unless he's paired with Gluttony or Yoki... Oh god, now I am inspired to make a fanart of Havoc chained up to the bed XDDDDDD


More coming from inane_nana

Roy/Bradley: The battle of dominance shall commence the very second they get together! Unfortunately I see Roy being the bottom-half of this pairing XD They won't have lovey-dovey scenes, and Roy will probably try and fend off Bradley's advances only to fall down under Bradley's dominance and they will have rough office shmex. To put it bluntly, this will be non-con until Roy finally wins against Bradley's power. Ooooh, due to the recent chapters I cannot help but fantasize about them now. I bet the japanese doujin-ka already have their minds rolling for some Roy/Bradley doujinshis XD


Thankies to sinluxuria for this one ^_^

Envy/Ling: Strictly mangaverse. They've fought several times, but the real connection here is that Ling wants the homonculus' secret to immortality and he will pursue it to the end. At the beginning I was thinking of more seme!Envy and uke! Ling, but the latest few chapters show that Ling can very well hold on his own against Envy, which means yes, we have ourselves another battle of dominance! Only this time there is something at stake. I can see that both will try to gain the upper ground in the relationship to get what they want - Ling his information and Envy the submission of a "filthy human". ~_~


For csakuras

Al/Mei: So far the only connection they have is the battle, and of course, Xiao Mei. Should Al really go back to his body (better yet, his 10 years old body) then hurrah we may have some possibility of Al/Mei. I would say that their relationship will be a cute fluffy one when they are small and will grow into a full fledged love over the years. I can see their house full of cute things from Al's kitties to Xiao Mei and whatever other things they can get their hands on. And finally Mei Chan will realize how much hotter Al is compared to Ed! XD


God bless alexi_serenitia for the inspiration on this one ~_~

Roy/Winry: I lean toward the animeverse when talking about this couple, because the manga seriously lacks that Mustang/Winry connection. So here goes: The better part of this relationship, I think, will be focused on how Winry would forgive Roy for murdering her parents. Even if it is a war, it is never easy to forgive anyone who takes away your loved ones. Roy/Winry will be mostly an angsty relationship at first, but when they (or Winry) both realised that all that's happened was unintended and they happen for a reason then the couple would have a lighter note. I can also see subsequent wrench-throwing that can only be interrupted by Roy's suave remarks. ^_^


OMGWTFBBQ I completely forget about the ARMSTRONG CRACK! Thanks aori_tsuki for the pointer ;)

Armstrong/Ed: MUCH LOVE AND SPARKLES! Armstrong will dote on Ed to the max, leaving the latter running for his life and eventually succumb to the pinky glitters to save his life. Their relationship will have a lot of smooches, hugs, muscle competitions and will probably be held only by Ed's wish to retain his life cause he knows the sparkles are hazardous for both your body and your sanity. Of course we can expect to see Ed wearing a white wedding dress being carried in Armstrong's beautiful arms down the aisle XD

Armstrong/Pinako: Talk about a very devoted man - Armstrong will do whatever Pinako says out of respect and of love. These things include, but not limited to, the following: chopping woods with fist, cooking dinner, transmuting metals, taking care of the kids, procure pink sparklies for Christmas decoration, etc. I can see the offspring being a tall muscular boy with natto-hair XD

Armstrong/Ross or Armstrong/Brosch: As soon as they get intimate (which includes a lot of muscle flashing, pink sparkles and people getting squeezed out of breath) then the submission begin! It's VERY clear who holds the rein in these relationships. Plus being a superior has its advantage ~_~

Slut!Armstrong/everybody else: You know, no matter what happen no one can resist the sparkles that is Armstrong. Nope, not Ed, Roy, Havoc, Pinako, you, me, NOBODY. So why fight it? Just sit back and enjoy the onslaught on your senses XD


Thank you to tears_priestess for reminding me about the Yuri pairings!

Riza/Winry: They both respect (and admire) each other... It's shown very clearly in the Book in Figure Red that Winry starts piercing her ears due to Riza's influence and Riza starts growing her hair out after she saw Winry. Anyone who is in a relationship with Hawkeye will have to be reserved in public's eyes (that's just her nature). This is also the case of Riza/Winry. Outwardly they will show signs of affection, though not explicitly - however when they are in private things might go to the next level. Since Winry is not in the military I would say that their relationship won't be as secretive as Royai. They are both strong, opinionated women so I'd predict they'd take turns getting on top XD

Winry/Scieszka: Again, strictly animeverse! They both match each other very well in that one episode. I can see a clumsy Scieszka tripping over Winry's equipment and Winry would then take care of her. For some reason I can't think of this pairing as more than fan service -_- but for the topic's sake I'd say: Read the Al/Winry section above!


This one is for raimuchan. Special Greed lovin' from Maria's kitchen! 8D

Slut!Greed/everybody else: Anything that Greed does to others will probably be non-con. As the name suggests, Greed only takes, he never gives. I'd blame this partially on dragontrap's fic - a sadistic Greed will be the only plausible outcome of this pairing. No matter how many people you shove Greed onto, he'd dominate them all. Anyone who fights back will probably end up a violated dead meat, if you get my meaning... But I suppose with Greed's sexiness no one can say 'no' either. I bet even Envy would succumb to his prowess XD

Jeez, with this we already have like... 3 Slut!charas already XDDDD I think we might be able to squeeze some more...


Another one for raimuchan!

Izumi/Sieg: They're married and you've seen the result. Sieg and Izumi match each other really well and it shows - not only by the throwing knives scenes but also his understanding. Sieg never blamed Izumi for what happened. And yup, Izumi is so seme! Plus with Sieg's body I think I know who gets on top XD It's undisputable that these two belong together and not with anyone else unless you're into Sieg/Armstrong crack that is XD
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