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06 November 2005 @ 11:27 pm
Newbie post  

I'm a newbie to this community but I've been in the fandom for a bit. I've decided to come out of hiding and let other people see and hopefully critique some bits of fanfiction that I have to offer here. Here's my first offering and I hope it isn't as bad as I think it is. It's not betaed so if there are any grammatical, spelling, or just plain word structure that you think I need to change I would greatly appreciate it.

 

Title: Becoming Nobody

Genre: Introspective/Slightly Angsty

Rating: Pg/Pg-13 (Maybe)

Length: One-shot ficlet

Notes: Spoiler if you don't know how Ed learned the clappy thing I guess So if you haven't seen past "Teacher" I wouldn't recommend that one reads this. Though I may be wrong on that episode and it could be from a later one so if anyone wants to correct me on this please do. That and it's unbetad so watch for typos and other errors that may be littered in this thing.


_____________________________________________________________________________________________
It was wrong and would never be right again.

Everything had started going wrong the moment the idea of bringing back the dead had entered his head. Childish and foolish thoughts of being indestructible, that he had been the one in control of the alchemy when the alchemy was actually in control of him. Even now as they followed dead ends and far-fetched leads he could feel the alchemy that resided within him. The alchemy that he had inherited from that man radiated and pulsed in a type of pattern that dictated his moves.

Sometimes he was nothing more then a prisoner in his own body as he watched it do things with in an alomost unconscious and dreamlike way. No one had any idea about this at all for not only did the alchemy push them all away he did so as well, pushing anyone that tried to get near so as to protect him or her from what lived inside of his own body. The only reason why Al was safe was that he could not feel the power thrumming through and around him when he got too close.

That was the only reason he didn’t have to give up the only support he had left in the world of the living. The alchemy, or rather the Gate knew this and as such made certain that the alchemy protected his little brother from harm.

Still though, even as he sat there and looked out the window of the moving train he couldn’t help but feel that time was fast running out. Yet all he could do was hope that with the bit of borrowed time that he still had that he could find a cure for his brother. If not, despite the automail, his body could be used as a way to take Al from being trapped in a suit of cold and unfeeling armor into warm and living flesh, skin that would have once belonged to him.

He knew that if they didn’t find the stone in time a soul had to return to the Gate to stay. If it was to come to that he was dead set on being the one to do so. Even if it meant that he was to be forgotten.

For the alchemy may have control of him now, but the Gate survived off of equivalent exchange. When it would come down to that event the Gate wouldn’t refuse his offer. For it was a life for a life, a soul for a soul, and only one would leave intact in a human body.

Even if Al did remember him after all of this, in time he would learn to forgive and forget about the fool who got burned when he tried to reach the ever burning stars. Not only him but also all the others would soon forget about him and his name won’t bring even a quirk of an eyebrow in remebrance.

No one will remember that there had once been two Elric boys. If that was the way to ensure a future for Al, then that would be what Edward Elric would do.

For what harm can a nobody do to those that might love a nobody.

 

 
 
Blueblue_aeon on November 7th, 2005 01:19 pm (UTC)
*looks around puzzled* No-one's commented on this yet?

What a wonderful piece to come out of hiding with. I was very moved by this - the feeling of not being in control of your own life is an unsettling and upsetting notion. But those last three paragraphs brought me close to tears. No-one deserves to be forgotten.

Beautifully written. I look forward to more.
scatteredlovers on November 7th, 2005 08:12 pm (UTC)
Thank you very much. I wasn't sure this was any good to be honest. I'm happy that someone liked. ^^;
Mara: Roy - Sparkles - FMAjadedsilk on November 7th, 2005 03:33 pm (UTC)
"No one will remember that there had once been two Elric boys. If that was the way to ensure a future for Al, then that would be what Edward Elric would do.

For what harm can a nobody do to those that might love a nobody."

I didn't comment last night because this made me /run to get kleenex/ This was quite emotional, and very nicely done.

Keep going!
-Mara
scatteredlovers on November 7th, 2005 08:14 pm (UTC)
Thanks though I didn't expect people to need tissue for it to be honest. I'm happy that people no matter how few like my little dust catching pieces.