[Author] Mara D (Watarisgirl/Lady Jade)
[Series] Fullmetal Alchemist
[Rating] Not work safe. NC17
[Spoilers?] Yes. It's fairly AU. My take on the end of the series, The movie doesn't exist at all for me.
[Chatter] Wow. This is only half of the chapter and its ninteen or so pages. You get this much for now. ^_^ There is sex. Lots of sex. It makes me happy. Don't worry about the ending, with Al not seeming too upset. He and Ed just don't want to rile up Winry (Any more than will eventually happen XD)
It was after supper that both the Leesons and Ed decided to retire early, leaving Winry and Roy downstairs together.
For the longest time Roy sat there with his heart in his throat staring stoically into the fireplace, while Winry finished washing the last few dishes. Damn them. They were doing this to him on purpose. He felt like he couldn’t breathe, like there was a terrible weight on his chest, crushing his lungs. That forced him to shove one trembling hand into his pocket, and use the injured one to grip the sofa arm.
Ed had cleaned the stitches, and re-bandaged the wound, so Roy’s sleeve was pushed up on that side, and his blood stained jacket was resting over the back of the couch, drying where Betty had tried to blot the crimson out of the sleeve.
He watched Winry out of the corner of his eye, wary as she dried her hands on a towel, and then hesitantly walked towards him when she could no longer procrastinate.
She was in front of him then, chuckling uneasily and bending from the waist, trying to make eye contact which Roy was avoiding like a shy child.
When he caught himself doing it, he finally glanced up at her guiltily.
She smiled and laughed kindly, he could tell she was just as nervous as he was.
It drew an answering grudging chuckle from Roy as she moved to sit beside him.
Not too close, but not too far away.
“General?” She began.
Roy jumped a bit at her voice, but hummed a somewhat breathy affirmative.
“I used to hate you.” She began, watching Roy flinch just slightly. “But.” She continued. “The older I got, the more I realized that things were not as cut and dried as I once assumed them to be as a child. I understood the people, good people, could do things they didn’t want to, or didn’t mean. And that regrets can tear a person’s soul apart.” She glanced up the stairs towards the guest room that she knew Ed was sleeping in.
Roy nodded, trying not gasp audibly for air with his nerves, with the truth of her words.
“I got to know the people under your command. I got to know Hawkeye, and through her, them, I got to know you. I began to understand what a good man you were. How, instead of simply trying to forget my parents…you let their death mean something to you, force you to change, to be a better man and try to bring peace and humanity to the Military.”
Roy was trembling now, visibly, his head lowered.
“And I don’t think there is any other cause my parents would have given their lives for. They saved lives, giving theirs in more ways than one. I don’t hate you. I honestly feel that, while you had a choice in pulling that trigger, that it wasn’t your fault. Even Hoenheim had to admit, that you were a good man, and a crime was committed against you that day, as well as against my parents.”
Roy couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t possibly mean what she was saying.
“You tried to protect me and Granny. You didn’t know this would happen. You are a thorough man, I know this, and I know you hate making mistakes. I know you didn’t plan this to happen, that you wish you could take it all back. But you see, this was nobody’s fault except for the beast that intentionally did the murdering. And while I may have lost my grandmother, you lost twenty of your men. Knowing you, men you knew were steadfast, and trusted. Men who were friends, who had relatives too.”
Roy was pleading with himself not to cry. He was biting his lip, fighting the urge to become angry and defiant, to yell. He needed to hear this, Edward was right, but that didn’t make it any easier to swallow. It was simpler to hate himself. She was silent, awaiting a reply.
“You…” He began, his voice cracking, so he started again. “You’re wrong. I just want to be Fuhrer…so that I can make all the female military personnel wear…miniskirts.”
He almost couldn’t believe he had said that. He really couldn’t when Winry slammed him in the head with a pillow.
“Were you even listening to a word I said?!” She screeched.
Oh yes. Ed was right. She was a volatile woman.
Ed had been silent and stoic through the funeral, standing strong and stiff lipped beside Roy while Winry had sobbed into the blond alchemist’s coat, alternating between shivering and sniffling for the whole ordeal. It was a bright sunny day as they had lowered the casket into the frozen earth that had taken Alchemy to excavate due to the layer of frost. Ed and Roy had transmuted the headstone together, and it was elegant in the midst of the snow. It was the only real tribute either man could have given Pinako.
The gathering of people was fairly massive, and at the wake, Ed and Winry had endured hugs from people they had only heard mentioned in passing. A few people spoke a bit about Pinako, about what a great person she was. Ed had gotten up to speak as he was asked to, and had done what everyone had hoped he would do. He proceeded to tell everyone present how short she had been, what a bad tempered old hag she once was, just before telling them all with slightly glassy eyes how much he was going to miss her.
And now they were back at the Leeson’s homestead.
Winry was wearing her favorite old sweater, and was curled up on the couch. Ed was sitting on the ratty old rug by the fireplace, his cheek resting melancholically on top of Den’s furry shoulder. The dog was licking the smaller alchemist’s automail hand sympathetically.
Roy had just returned from chopping wood for a while, just to let everyone have some time. He didn’t mind the repetitive motion, despite his throbbing arm. The cold still felt good on his face. He had let Winry put some makeup over the bruises so that he hadn’t looked so horrible. That had been an experience. He knew deep down that someday it would come back to haunt him…but that aside.
The whole house was so sad, so quiet and empty. Sitting next to Ed was the one thing Pinako had willed to him. Several of his father’s journals, and a letter from her that Ed had yet to open.
The atmosphere of the room wasn’t unhappy or angry, no, no one was like that. It was just a shared ache between them all, and from the looks of it, everyone was incapacitated.
Roy went to sit behind Ed, wrapping strong arms around him from behind. Ed shivered once at the winter air that was clinging to the bigger alchemist’s clothes, but he scooted closer, leaning back against his lover while ceasing to pet Den.
(Ed had told Winry about he and Roy, and she seemed to be taking it rather well (That and about Alphonse, she had taken that with more…difficulty. A wrench had been involved in that bit of information. Or perhaps it was delayed emotion from the former issue. Or both.) She was swearing that she would stay by his side until he was well. Knowing Winry’s bedside manner Roy was certain Ed was feeling very sorry for Al already.))
He could see her smiling wistfully out of the corner of his eye though. If anyone in the house gave a damn about Roy holding Ed like this, they certainly didn’t say anything. How could anyone talk, Betty and Marcus were twined similarly on a battered sofa on the far side of the fire.
Den left then, as Roy stole the loyal animal’s charge. The automail bound animal went clinking across the hardwood floor then and hopped up on the couch next to Winry instead.
Good. Now no one was alone.
Winry gave the big hound’s head a steady petting, and the silence became all encompassing.
Ed and Roy had sat up very late, until the stars were sparkling diamond chips in the night sky, until blue of fading day yielded to black and scudding clouds. Until Winry and Den wandered off and Betty and Marcus slid off to bed.
Neither alchemist had said a word to each other the whole time, both of them alternating between staring out the window and staring into the fireplace. There were no words for this. Simply touch.
After a while, Ed had started to doze off against Roy, so the bigger alchemist carried Ed off to bed, the blond clutching both journals and letter. Roy changed into his pajamas, while he simply removed Ed’s boots and pants, leaving him in the oversized white dress shirt he had worn to the funeral, and a pair of boxers.
He and Ed were supposed to sleep separately, but he knew the blond would wake up and panic if Roy wasn’t there.
He slid them both carefully into the narrow bed, Ed murmuring contentedly as soon as he could curl up in his usual position against Roy’s chest.
It had been a long day, and with Ed’s soothing breathing so close to Roy’s cheek where they shared a pillow, it didn’t take Roy long to drop off to sleep despite his arm throbbing and his face hurting. He couldn’t be miserable with Ed this close.
Roy awoke with Edward far from his arms.
He glanced up to see the blond sitting at the window seat in the dress shirt he had dozed off in, his boxers just peeping out from under the wrinkled white fabric.
He was staring up at the full moon, and the white light was reflecting off of the snow, turning Ed an almost ghostly silver. It teased the lightest highlights out of his hair, and transformed the darkest into ebony.
It was not a night for sleeping. There was an air of restlessness to the room, to the statue like stillness that gripped his younger lover. The only way Roy could be sure that Ed was awake was the fact that he could see the slightest rise and fall of chest, the beat of slow and strong pulse at the vein in Ed’s throat.
When Roy sat up, the blankets rustling to the foot of the bed, Ed did not look surprised…he looked omniscient and beautiful and hungry, golden eyes dark and luminous as he turned his head.
Roy could not deny that look.
He stood and glided barefoot to Ed’s side, his fingertips ghosting just over his sleeve in an almost-caress.
There was pain, aching, tiredness and a loneliness that Roy knew all too well in the younger man’s posture. There was also a starving wonder, a desperation to live that was not uncommon when reminded of mortality. Roy joined Ed for a moment to stare out over the snow heavy trees and the white blanketed hills, and appreciated it. Appreciated this moment they had together.
Ed reached out, pressing his flesh hand to the glass, watching the warmth of his skin steam their half-reflection in the shape of his fingerprints.
He pulled his hand back after that, as if the glass had stung him for his daring need to touch it, to try and escape to the hostility and harsh beauty of the outside world from the safety of the house. He paused for a heartbeat, and then in the most heavily misted place his palm had been, wrote one word.
Roy smiled down at Ed as the blond let his hand drop away from the window. Before the mist could fade, before the words could flee before the cold, he underlined the word, bringing his cool finger to rest just at the tip of Ed’s nose.
Ed blinked, turned his head slowly, as if he didn’t quite believe what he was seeing, feeling.
He gazed up at Roy with those captivating golden eyes, that porcelain and somehow masculine face, pleading soundlessly with his expression alone, he mouthed the word ‘please?’ before he captured Roy’s finger in his mouth, tongue curling suggestively around the digit.
Roy could not deny that.
He could never deny Ed anything.
He leaned in then, his mouth finding first the side of the blond’s neck, nibbling steadily upwards until his lips found Ed’s reflexively. Ed was climbing to his feet then, sliding off the edge of the window seat and all but crawling up Roy’s pajama clad chest, his mouth harsh, hot, aggressive. Ed usually preferred to follow, let Roy lead. But in this, at this moment, he wanted something specific, and Roy would let him take it. Whatever Ed wanted, Roy would give. He returned the kiss just as fiercely as Ed pushed him away a bit.
Ed’s shirt hit the floor a moment later and there was a rush of bare skin so hot that Roy could feel it through the thick fabric of his pajama top. Roy made to unbutton his own shirt, but Ed slapped his hands away, instead pushing Roy down to the soft fabric of the window box.
Ed retrieved something from his suitcase, tugged off his boxers, and then was crawling into Roy’s lap, tugging the drawstring on Roy’s pajama bottoms untied hastily, pulling the fabric away from the older alchemist’s awakening need to the top of his thighs. Roy wriggled obediently, helping the motion, but his brow wrinkled with some worry.
“Ed?” Roy breathed, not minding but suddenly apprehensive for his lover. He was always careful with Ed, and he didn’t want the blond to go too fast, to try and use Roy to punish himself. This was moving fast, and lacking most of their usually extensive foreplay.
Ed leaned up to kiss Roy again, automail and flesh hand braced against those powerful and scarred shoulders.
“I want to feel…make me feel…I want to know I’m still alive. I can’t feel myself breathing…I can’t…I can’t feel like I should… /Please Roy, I can’t cry. I can’t feel. This is wrong…make me burn. Please god make me burn/” Ed pleaded.
Roy frowned through Ed’s passionate stint of German, and finally brought his hands up to encircled Ed’s waist, beginning to understand how desperate the situation really was.
“You are alive. Believe me. I can feel your heart beating, the warmth of your body. Edward, you are living.”
“I know…but I want to feel…I want to…feel everything. Anything. It’s better than this nothing…this nothing and this love…” Ed whispered as he leaned down to nibble at Roy’s ear. Roy took a hissing breath, his hips moving shudderingly of their own will where he was hardening quickly.
“Do not use me to hurt yourself.” Roy said. “I don’t want to hurt you, your body is still new to this…Edward, it is the worst pain in the world if done wrong. Believe me.”
“I won’t. I don’t mean to…” Ed promised hastily, his hand suddenly slippery with oil as he slickened Roy and brought him to full hardness. The oil was cool, it should have killed all desire, but instead, it made it worse somehow. Roy whimpered almost inaudibly.
Roy could read it in Ed’s uncertain expression, in the slightly hesitant way he was arranging himself in Roy’s lap. They had never done it this way before, and while Ed would be quick to understand the mechanics, the pain was driving him to not ask, to just do.
“Let me prepare you. If you don’t want me to do so, then you should do it for yourself. Ed…don’t you even think about i…”
Ed did not wait for Roy. He leaned back into Roy’s arms, forcing the bigger man to try frantically to hold all his weight as he reached behind himself, spreading himself open, and slammed down hard.
It was all Roy could do to be quiet, and apparently all Ed could do to keep from crying out.
He buried his forehead in the hollow of Roy’s fabric clad shoulder, whimpering in pain.
“Edward!” Roy gasped, his body trembling from the sensation of Ed forcing himself onto his body like that. “Oh Ed…” Roy whispered in worry and disappointment. The blond was making tiny choked sounds into Roy’s chest, his body trembling. “Be still.” Roy soothed. “I’ll pull out.”
Roy tried to move, but powerful hands gripped his shoulders tightly.
“No!” Ed gasped. “No...I’m fine. Don’t stop…”
“Edward…you’re bleeding. I can feel it…we need to stop...” Roy whispered as he nuzzled against Ed’s tangled blond hair.
The bad part was that he wanted to move. It did feel good. Edward felt more than good, he felt amazing.
“Shut up. I love you. I want it like this. Give it to me. Let me have this…” Ed whispered hoarsely just before he began to move.
Roy was still protesting as he was forced to counterbalance (Or risk dropping Ed.) by leaning back nearly against the window glass. Ed moved savagely on him, biting his lip and grunting every time he slammed himself down onto Roy’s need. The power between them uncurled and hungrily licked its lips, but both Ed and Roy shoved it away. This was not the time. It obeyed them. For now. It was the last thing Roy needed right now with Ed’s eccentric behavior, alchemical power out of control.
Roy understood, but that didn’t mean this performance didn’t worry him. He couldn’t deny that it felt good, but he didn’t want to see Ed hurt like this. He also understood the need for the hurt as much as he worried for Ed. He tried to rock his hips into the gesture and support Ed hard enough that he wouldn’t move himself past what a still inexperienced body could endure.
Ed was biting his lip when he finally pulled away from Roy’s shoulder. His brows were knit with concentration as his eyes met Roy’s. He was working, working towards completion, working towards that moment that would bring both he and Roy pleasure, but never had he looked so /serious/ as he did in this moment. Roy nuzzled against the side of Ed’s neck, whispering soothing things, making small noises of pleasure.
Ed moved faster and faster, harder and harder until each rise and fall of his body knocked the wind from him, and clicked Roy’s teeth where he was bracing them both against the cushion. Roy was stifling moans and grunts, Ed was even more soundless even though he was writhing. Roy rocked his hips as carefully as he could, making sure that the head of Ed’s need brushed the washboard plains of his stomach underneath the loose and rode up fabric of his shirt, trying to be certain that Ed would find the release he was looking for. He tried his best to take some of the sting out of the way Ed was moving by supporting him, damn near restraining him, at the hips.
Ed grunted a bit loudly, and then Roy had to lean over, lock their mouths together in a clash of teeth and lips and tongue to discourage too much sound.
The fact that they had to be silent was not lost on either of them, and Ed did not object. If anything, he moved more frantically, more desperately.
Roy knew Ed was beyond pain, hell, he was too. It was rougher than Roy preferred it, but he wasn’t complaining either.
Ed’s motions were becoming more and more aggressive, more erratic, and Roy could feel the tell-tale tensing of the body he was inside of. He let Ed up for air then, and the blond came a moment later with a soundless sob, his mouth half open and his eyes squinted shut as he arched his back, painting the front of Roy’s belly beneath his pajama shirt. The convulsive rocking of Ed’s body tore his release from him, and Roy had to bury his face against Ed’s automail shoulder to silence the tiny gasp he made.
They were both perfectly still for a long moment, frozen on each other. When Ed finally moved, mechanically climbing off Roy, it was then that the raven haired alchemist was reminded. They had been harsh.
Ed was wincing, leaning against the window seat, a thin line of blood and thicker things trickling down the back of his legs. Roy retrieved his handkerchief, and helped Ed carefully mop up as best he could.
When Roy was done, Ed stumbled away from him to lean against the frame of the bed, crying soundlessly, his tears falling to the duvet cover, crystalline in the moonlight, his shoulders shaking where they bowed under both physical and emotional pain. The blond was a knot of hurt, his muscles already cramping if the way he was hunching was any indication.
Roy found him something for pain he had in his suitcase, and handed it worriedly to Ed who took the medication dry, while letting Roy help him back into his boxers.
Roy wiped his own stomach down, and then pulled Ed back into bed, cradling him to his chest where he proceeded to rub the blond’s back tenderly.
Roy murmured gently that he loved Ed, and Ed replied by burying his face in Roy’s sleep shirt and dissolving into sobs.
Roy crooned to him, comforted him as best he could. Things just weren’t all right, right now. And that was okay. Roy was unhappy that Ed had been so rough on himself, but it hadn’t been unwanted by his lover, no, it had been needed. Because Ed had almost forgotten how to cry, to feel. If this was what it took…physical pain and pleasure were something that could be controlled, and Ed had needed that control tonight. It didn’t make Roy feel a whole lot better, but he did understand.
Ed cried until nearly dawn, and Roy stayed up with him through it all, until the sun stole across the room, across the bed and warmed the blanket they were both huddled under. Sleep took them both then.
“I can…come stay with you then? Winry asked shyly.
“If you promise to not hit me with any more pillows.” Roy said drolly.
“Bad idea Roy, now she’ll hit you with her wrench instead.” Ed said.
“I would never do that Ed!”
“Oh bullcrap you crazy woman! You hit me with that damn thing all the time.”
“That’s because you never listen to me and then come back and complain that your automail is broken when you abuse it.”
“If you two are finished?” Roy asked, listening to the last call for the train.
He handed Den’s leash to Winry, and then boarded, showing everyone’s passes to the conductor.
The conductor was a wrinkled and unhappy little prune of a man, and he didn’t seem amused by much either. It was apparently a bother to stop in Rizenbul to pick up only three passengers and a dog.
“No room in civilian for you two, take the military car. It’s empty. There’s room for the lady and her dog though, if she doesn’t mind squeezing in.”
“You overbooked again?” Roy asked disparagingly.
“Yeah, ain’t my fault. Take it or leave it.”
Roy grimaced, highly tempted to transmute the man to the wall, or better yet, set his poorly trimmed mustache on fire.
“Is that okay Winry?” Ed asked. “We can always catch the next train.”
“It’s fine, I’ll have Den with me. He will take care of me. If I need you two, I’ll just sneak into the military car.”
The conductor raised his eyebrow.
“Er, I mean, I’ll ask permission from the conductor first!” She concluded. She gave Ed and Roy a winning smile. “You boys have fun!” She said as she took the right hand door in the direction of the sign that said “Coach.” Den mincing at her heels with a happy doggy smile.
Roy gave the conductor one final glare of disapproval before handing he and Ed’s tickets over and went to the left, following the sign that said “Military.”
They had settled into one of the private boxes, Ed walking a bit gingerly, and sitting even more so.
When Roy shut the door, Ed slumped against him with a sigh, resting his head on Roy’s chest. Hollow and aching.
“So what did you and Winry talk about that night?” Ed asked softly.
Roy was silent for a moment, his hands coming up to tangle in Ed’s hair.
“Remind me to beat you mercilessly at our next game of chess for leaving me alone and in hostile territory under heavy enemy fire.”
“Fine. Well?” Ed asked a bit impatiently. Neither of them had gotten much sleep.
“She forgave me.” Roy said softly.
Ed was silent, waiting.
“How does it feel?” He asked Roy slightly miserably.
“Do you have a need for forgiveness?” Roy asked curiously, sensing Ed’s sudden pain.
“I never got the chance to apologize, or be forgiven. Only by my brother, and he doesn’t count because he thinks giant man eating chimeras are cute.”
“Edward.” Roy chided.
“I know…I just have trouble not feeling like all of this is my fault.”
Roy shook his head.
“You know it isn’t.” Roy delivered a gentle kiss to Ed’s ear.
“I’m sorry about last night.” Ed said contritely.
“Don’t be.” Roy soothed. “I am only sorry that you hurt yourself.”
“I needed the pain.”
“You know I would never intentionally hurt you?”
“That was my fault. I was in control, I made my own choices.”
“It still doesn’t worry me any less. You promised me you wouldn’t use me to hurt yourself.”
“I know. That’s why I’m sorry.”
“I love you.” Roy murmured.
“I know.” Ed said lowly, cheering just a bit. “So what was it like? I still want to know. I want to know how it felt, to know she forgives you.”
“I didn’t think she would…” Roy began hesitantly. “I underestimated how mature she is. How good of a woman she has become. I never expected in this lifetime to hear anyone say “You fucked up Roy Mustang, but it’s fine.”
“So?” Ed prompted.
“It felt like…it felt scary. Exhilarating. A bit aching. A lot like…relief…and responsibility…a lot like holding you in my arms the first time we made love.”
“How does that feel?” Ed asked humbly.
“Don’t you remember?” Roy asked.
“I wasn’t… I didn’t…”
Roy smiled at Ed, sliding out of his Generals jacket, nimble fingers moving to the top button of his dress shirt.
“We should fix that then.”
“Why?! Roy! Not here!” Ed gasped, suddenly looking scandalized.
“There are…people! I’m…sore…”
“True.” Roy said, undoing another three buttons slowly. “You are not just mine…Edward…I am yours. Your home…your other half. I surrender to no man but you.” Roy loosened another button, watching the hunger cross Edward’s eyes. Ed could not resist the compliment and the steady progress of parting fabric.
“We shouldn’t.” Ed whispered as he reached out, a moth to the flame, touching Roy’s bare chest as it was revealed to him. “What if Winry walks in? What if Wrath attacks?”
“Wrath isn’t here anymore.” Roy said softly. “If he did not attack you and I when we came for the funeral, he is definitely somewhere else.”
“Central.” Roy said calmly.
“We are headed back there now. Be patient. We will be where we need to be, when we need to be there. For now, enjoy the trip. Worrying will do you no good.
“Roy, I can’t possibly mhhffmmmhh…”
Roy cut Ed off smartly by kissing him. Sometimes Fullmetal just talked too much.
“Roy?!” Ed protested when he was let up for air.
“Take me.” Roy whispered.
Ed stared up at Roy stunned, innocently hungrily…Roy was still unbuttoning his shirt…letting it fall free away from his bare chest revealing that soft v of black hair, those powerful muscles and silvering scars. Ed didn’t get it. Not at first. Roy was talking about him not needing forgiveness. That he had a place…a home… that he was loved despite, because even, of his flaws. was that what Roy was getting at?
That Ed still had a place with Roy, that Roy would always want, need, and trust him? Of course. Roy knew he couldn’t stop Ed from worrying, from hurting. That all he could do was give him love, trust, and shelter. For now, here in the confines of a train headed back to Central, to Alphonse, and innumerable other worries, the best he could do was offer Ed the last thing, the only thing he had to give.
“We shouldn’t.” Ed protested lamely.
Roy seemed to see it fit to ignore him.
“I trust you.” Roy murmured as he stood letting his shirt drop away to the floor with a crisp rustle.
Ed couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t believe this powerful, beautiful, wild man was his. That he wanted Ed, trusted Ed, would give him this, this gift…which he didn’t even know what to do with.
Roy took a slow deep breath and stood gracefully, staring absently for a moment where his shirt was pooled on the floor. He made his way to the private room door, and used his fingernail to flake off the paint into a rough transmutation circle, which he activated without a thought. The door locked and the wood of the floor arced up protectively around the room, giving them almost complete privacy. You couldn’t even see in through the window.
Roy then turned his back to Edward and stepped out of his boots.
Pants and boxers went next.
He gave Ed another heavy and sultry look that was laced with desperation, vulnerability, and yielding.
He dropped to his knees then, and slid to his elbows, leaning over the coffee table.
“In the pocket of my jacket.” Roy said softly before he laid his cheek against the cool wood of the table and closed his eyes, trying to ignore where the table edge pushed into his stomach and his need, pressed up against his stomach.
He gaped as Roy laid himself out across the table, eyes closed patiently, trustingly. Submissively. This was the side of Roy Mustang that only Edward got to see, and that was because Roy loved him, trusted him. Roy, despite his failings, was really a man of pure heart and fire. He didn’t know how to do anything halfway any more than Edward did. He wondered what this was costing his lover, to make this gesture. If Mustang was anything, it was fiercely proud.
/I surrender to no man but you./
Ed couldn’t breathe, even as he rummaged obediently in Roy’s jacket pocket, finding the vial of oil there.
He stood hesitantly, a bit carefully all things considered because he had become hard at such frightening speed that he thought it might break off if he got up too fast.
He knelt beside Roy then, slowly, eyes roving up and down the length of Roy’s form, lingering over the powerful curve of that bare and delicious ass. Roy’s eyes were still closed patiently, and the only way Ed was certain Roy was alive was the slow rise and fall of his chest.
Ebony hair spilled out across the tabletop, pale skin a strange visual relief from the texture of the wood.
Ed reached out slowly, taking two fingers and experimentally dragging them down Roy’s spine. Roy whined then, arching up into Ed’s touch pleadingly even though his eye was still closed, dark lashes fluttering against his cheek, against the mottling of bruises quickly fading to a rather nasty looking green.
Ed had never done this before, not like this, not when he was in control. When Roy was completely letting Ed lead. Ed grabbed Roy by his good forearm and pulled him up and away from the table as he sat one cheek on the edge of the coffee table. (Gingerly, he was sore.)
“Kiss me.” Ed murmured as Roy opened one gray eye sleepily, hungrily.
Ed decided in that moment that the eye patch had to go, like, yesterday. And so it did.
Ed’s mouth closed over his as he was pulled halfway up from the table.
He had no words to say, no, this was beyond words. He kissed submissively, letting Ed lead, not even fighting as Ed divested him of his eye patch.
Ed’s tongue was on Roy’s, uncertain at first but growing bolder with every moment.
Roy brought a trembling hand up to Ed’s still clothed chest, fingers stroking hungrily. When they broke away for air, Roy licked his saliva dampened lips and tilted his head back, exposing his throat to Edward.
“More.” He groaned. “Take me…make me yours…”
Ed groaned at Roy’s words, still hearing Roy’s previous statement echoing in his head.
/I surrender to no man but you./
Wasn’t that the way it was between them? Both so fiercely proud, both so strong and so broken in the same breath. Even like this, in this surrender, they were stronger than most men by half. It wasn’t like they lost any face from this…He really could do no wrong. Roy could do no wrong. This wasn’t ‘The Flame Alchemist and The Fullmetal Alchemist’. It was just ‘Roy and Ed.’ Two men who needed each other, who ached for love and support, burned for each other in a hundred little ways, and always had.
“I will…” Ed whispered thickly as he leaned down, taking a nip from the skin just over the bump in Roy’s throat. “No one else can have you.” Ed murmured. “I’m jealous…” Ed whispered. “I can’t help it…”
For a moment, a flash of worry, for friends, for Central, for Alphonse crossed his mind, but then Roy was whining low in his throat, and Ed was kissing hotly, sucking on smooth skin, along the powerful edge of a jawbone.
“Mine…” Ed whispered thickly as he pushed the worries from his mind. “You’re mine Mustang…”
And Roy was. Ed could bury himself, his troubles, his pain in Roy, and Roy would take it. Roy would hold him and give him a place to belong, to worry, to give his troubles away, even if just for a little while. Roy was his family, his lover, the only thing he had left and he was clinging to that now with both hands. He had to face it. He had lost a great many things, but he had also just gained something back. Something just as powerful. Something as good as things had been bad before.
Roy shivered as Ed bit down on his throat, declaring Roy ‘his.’ Demanding hands slid the length of Roy’s body, more possessive than Roy had ever felt them before, and that was reassuring. Ed really did want him, Roy wasn’t going to be the only one putting something into this relationship. He could tell from Ed’s touch alone that the younger man finally understood.
He surrendered to Ed completely as that mouth found its way to his nipple.
“Take me!” Roy rumbled. “I want you in me, I want to feel you move over me…please…please…” Roy pleaded as that mouth, that inexperienced but now self-assured mouth tormented his chest and throat, nipping and licking. “Take your clothes off…I need your skin on mine…please Edward?”
Ed hummed lowly, reassuringly, as an affirmative. Roy was pleading for him, and be damned if he was going to not give the older man what he wanted. Whatever he asked for, no matter what it cost him, Roy had always given it to Edward. If this is what Roy needed, wanted…then Ed would give it. It wasn’t like it was a chore. Though he was admittedly nervous.
Ed placed one more soft kiss on Roy’s lips, on his cheek and then the scar over and underneath his eye before making his request.
“Back on the table. Like you were.” Ed whispered as he let go of Roy’s wrist, pushed him gently back to how he had been, splayed across the wood.
They had to get on with this, or Ed wouldn’t last long enough to please Roy.
Roy grunted low in his chest, sliding back onto the chilly wood with a shiver where cold touched his stomach, chest, and need.
He turned his cheek against the tabletop, and then closed his eyes submissively, expectantly. He would await whatever it was that Edward wanted, and he would accept it without a sound. His hands braced against the edge of the table, and he struggled to get enough air in spite of nerves and desperation.
His breathing was coming much too fast, and he was trembling. A little from the cold of the table, and a lot from curious and desperate longing. He wanted to feel Ed touching him, feel how he would move without Roy guiding him. How he would move would mark him as Edward, as Roy’s lover with his own unique quirks. Seldom did he let anyone do this. Even more seldom like this. He wanted this, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t a bit nervous…not since Maes had he…
He heard Ed stand, heard the sound of clothes hitting the floor, and tried very hard to relax, to trust Ed as he said he did.
Roy was trembling as Ed finished disrobing and spread himself over that overheated back without putting weight on the other man. The lube was on the floor by his automail knee, but he didn’t grab it yet. He didn’t like the trembling from his lover. This wasn’t just the cold of the table doing this to Roy.
“Are you sure you want it this way?” Ed whispered. “You’re trembling.”
“With anticipation. I trust you.” Roy murmured, the muscles of his back rippling where Ed covered him, overheated and comforting. “Take me. I surrender.” Roy continued, stretching slowly over the table a bit further, keeping his eyes closed passively and hoping to god Ed didn’t back out now.
Was Roy still sure?
Ed slid automail and flesh hand up and down Roy’s back, massaging tenderly, listening to Roy grunt and sigh as he massaged, soothing, heating with flesh hand, cooling with automail, trying to get the muscles to relax, which they did after a moment, slowly but surely. Ed began to nip at the nape of Roy’s neck, nuzzling in the silky ebony hair there as he rocked against the cleft of Roy’s ass, tantalizing with his need.
Roy whined and bucked back against him slightly, pleadingly.
“Don’t tease!” Roy gasped lowly even though Ed was relatively certain the dark haired man didn’t mind.
Ed didn’t, that was for sure. He was so hard that it hurt, but Roy’s trembling had eased a bit. Maybe this would be okay now?
He reached for the lube by his knee.
He warmed it as best he could in his hand, but it had been chilly on the train, even in riding in Roy’s pocket hadn’t been good enough. Damn winter.
The best he could do was cup it in his palm and breathe on it a bit before he coated his fingers in the stuff. He had to be careful, preparing Roy. He wanted this to be good for him. It had to be. It had to be perfect, especially because Roy was a bit tense.
“Okay.” Ed murmured as he moved to circle one finger around Roy’s opening, trying to get the bigger man to relax, to grant him entrance. When the dark haired alchemist finally sighed, letting out a long breath, Ed was able to get his finger inside.
Roy licked his lips, dry with nervous anticipation as he felt Ed lift from his back, heard the cap snap.
He listened to Ed try to heat the stuff, and braced himself a bit as that first slick finger slid inside. He whined at it a bit. It was cold, and despite almost fighting Ed at first, he was able to let the other man in. Everything would be fine now.
Ed had held his finger still when Roy had made the tiny sound of protest, but Roy didn’t want that. He needed Ed to move it, to move inside of him. It would help him relax. Maes used to do that…when Roy would get tense. It happened sometimes, despite Roy’s resolve and hunger.
“Don’t stop.” Roy murmured, encouragingly rocking back on Ed’s finger.
“Won’t. I promise.” Ed whispered as he moved his finger, sliding a bit deeper until Roy loosened a bit around him and he could slide a second finger inside. Roy was so hot, so tight around his fingers. He couldn’t help but think about how this would feel when he could replace his fingers with something else. It made him start to sweat, breath a bit quickly. He couldn’t help it…this was so…amazing. Roy made another tiny sound of discomfort which reminded Ed that with two fingers there was something he could do now… He kept moving his hand, curling his fingers until he felt Roy jerk a bit, as he watched his lover arch his back and curl his sock clad toes.
Ed did it again, and this time Roy made a breathy sound, thrusting back fiercely against his fingers.
Ah. Found it.
“Aha!” Roy gasped, arching back against Ed’s hand pleadingly, trembling even harder. Oh gods how he wanted Ed’s warm stomach against his back, wanted that powerful automail and flesh hand to hold his shoulders, to hold him close while that lithe body drove him to distraction.
“Ed…please…” Roy gasped, shaking with desperation, making a low sound in his throat as he closed his eyes even tighter. Like this, he never knew where Ed would touch next, and it kept the level of anticipation very high. Was it actually him making the noises that were echoing back to him in the confines of this small room?
The noises Roy were making made it impossible to control his need to be within the other man. When he withdrew his fingers, Roy all but threw a tantrum, writhing in disappointment on the table, calling quietly to Ed.
“Okay.” Ed whispered as he uncapped the lube again, not bothering to warm the stuff for himself, knowing his skin would do the trick, and also knowing that the cool would bring him back from the edge a bit. He still wasn’t prepared as he hissed and writhed slightly himself. He got over it rather quickly though as he slid into position and Roy was already trying to thrust back onto him, trying to push him home.
Ed chuckled slightly as he spread Roy open to him, as he moved between Roy’s knees as much as he could. He used his hands to part Roy as he moved to that entrance, and slowly began to slide in. He had to bite down on the skin of Roy’s shoulder to silence the noises that he was making. Roy was so tight…so hot and slick…he went slowly, as slowly as he could. Roy was pulling him in, moving his hips back against him slowly until Ed could not help it anymore. He was almost there when he lost control and thrust once, a quick snap of his hips.
“Oh…oh…god I’m sorry…are you okay?!” Ed whimpered as he gasped, trying to breathe and swallow and speak all at the same time. He was lucky he didn’t choke on his own spit, and Roy was arching his back a bit.
Roy purred. This was good…so good. Ed was surprisingly careful for being so eager. “You didn’t hurt me…I won’t shatter.” He whispered against the tabletop, leaning forward just marginally before pressing back into Ed with a thrust of his hips, encouraging.
“Hold me.” Roy whispered. “Hold onto me tightly, I want to feel you over me.”
Ed was a tight and burning pain within him, throbbing, filling, claiming, and his knuckles were tight against the wood. Not since Hughes. Not like this. Only with Ed.
With a tiny grunt of overwhelmed pleasure, Ed leaned against Roy’s back. He, of course, did not come all the way up to Roy’s shoulders, but he still covered most of Roy’s back and he could reach up to hook his hands up around Roy’s shoulders.
“Roy,” Ed gasped, burying his face against Roy’s back.
He could hold on, brace himself better like this. There was a fine sheen of sweat between them as Ed nuzzled against Roy’s skin. “So good.” Ed whispered. “You feel so good…”
It was Ed’s turn to tremble now as he let Roy force him into movement, force him to create the rhythm that his body knew so well.
“Ahh!…that’s good…” Roy gasped as he shivered at Ed’s long and slow strokes inside of him. “Move harder, when you’re ready. Please yourself. You wont hurt me...” Roy whispered, arching his back just slightly to feel the rub of Ed’s abs on his lower back, encouraging. Body warmed automail and silky flesh clasping over his shoulders.
Ed was so careful.
Roy hadn’t been expecting that. Powerful and heated and so very tender.
“Yours…only yours…” Roy hissed as he shivered in anticipation of Ed sliding back home again and again.
The first thrust had been shockingly good, a bit of hurt, a bit of pleasure, a bit of Edward, bittersweet.
Each following one was better, even if they weren’t hitting where he wanted them to yet, it was still good…still pleasure.
His next thrust, Ed aimed for that spot he had found with his fingers earlier, and he found it, if the gasp from his lover was any indication. He was using his leverage on Roy’s shoulders to pull himself deeper, harder. It became a game as he created a rhythm, aiming as hard and as deep as he could. He was trying to evoke more noises from his lover, trying to give him the most pleasure he possibly could, all the while basking in that tight heat Roy offered.
The pace was speeding up, Roy counterbalancing him and meeting his thrusts somehow--Ed didn’t know what he was doing, but it was damn well helping. He had his face buried in between Roy’s shoulder blades, moaning softly there with each thrust.
Ed was holding tightly, sliding deeply while burying his face into Roy’s back, stifling moans there as he moved.
Roy himself couldn’t help groaning and whimpering lowly every time that Ed made him see stars. The friction was delicious, the way Ed throbbed inside of him even more so. He was sweating so hard that he could barely hold onto the edge of the table anymore, but he did because he was supporting Ed as well as himself.
His back was beginning to slowly arch, his hands clenching so tight on the wood now that it creaked in protest under his hands.
Harder. Deeper. He wanted it harder and deeper and as much as Ed could give him.
“Harder…harder…” Roy sobbed against the table, his eyes closed tightly still, tears leaking from the corners.
No, this wasn’t Hughes, the motion was different, more careful, more reverent. The form over him was lither, and yet, filled him better. Met his body at a sharper angle. Light but strong, muscles rippling. Not Hughes. Edward. It was Edward and he wouldn’t let anyone else do this to him ever again. He was Edward’s.
“Yours…make me…yours…” Roy heaved as he struggled to draw the air that Ed was knocking from his lungs.
“Roy…Roy…Roy…” Ed was whispering an unsteady mantra as he became erratic, as he gave in to pleasing himself, wanting Roy to be tighter around him, deeper. As his own body coiled, aching, tingling. Until he went numb, until he came so intensely hard that he fell numbly on Roy’s back as he rocked through his last very thrusts. Roy was panting, tight, clutching around his length and trembling, heaving for air and just as sweaty as Ed
When they both had returned to Amestris from wherever in Xing their brains had gone, Ed heard Roy whisper two breathy words.
The military car had been completely empty, so it was certain now that no one had noticed their little liaison on the train. They were dressed again, and cleaned up as best they could with a handful of napkins and a couple bottles of water from the lounge car.
They had both been sleeping soundly when the train pulled into the station at Central.
When he hopped off the train, Havoc was there to greet him.
“General.” The big blond saluted smartly before continuing. “How was your trip, Chief? Boss?”” Havoc nodded towards Ed.
“Peaceful, but long. We brought back a guest.” Roy said as he turned and offered Winry a hand down from the train, which she very surprisingly took.
“Or two.” Havoc amended as he noticed Den bounding down the steps behind Winry.
“Jean Havoc, I believe you remember Winry Rockbell.”
“I sure do!” Jean said, smiling sweetly as Winry offered him her hand again.
“She will be staying with us, for now.” Roy said politely, tilting his head towards Ed.
Jean watched Ed preen barely perceptibly. It was as close to admitting that the two of them were together, in public, as Roy Mustang had yet to get. It still further reassured Jean that the rumors were right. But he didn’t say anything. Roy knew that the Fuhrer would publicly execute anyone who so much as dreamt of starting a full fledged complaint, hell, probably anyone who so much as griped in Roy’s general direction would be toasted. It was good to have friends at all echelons.
“Things have been calm Sir.” Havoc said comfortingly, watching the worry crossing Roy’s face
“None, Envy hasn’t done much but groan and whimper, and hide nor hair of Wrath, that we are aware of. The paperwork has been done on time, and Alphonse is doing extremely well. Already sitting up and taking care of that stupid kitten like it was a baby.”
Ed sighed as Winry slid up beside Ed, putting her arm through his automail one for comfort.
He let her with a tiny reassuring smile.
“We should go see him!” Winry said.
“I planned it to be our first stop.” Roy said softly, brows wrinkled.
“What is it sir?” Havoc asked. “I thought this would be good news for you.”
“It is.” Roy said levelly. “On the other hand, Wrath isn’t acting how I expected him to. Yet. And that worries me. He’s biding his time. And if he’s biding his time, he has something big up his sleeve.”
“All we can do sir is be alert and very careful, and deal with it if and when it comes. We’re beside you General.” Havoc tried to reassure.
“Jean…I don’t want to lose any more men. I don’t want to lose you, or any of the others.”
“Aww…that’s sweet General. But don’t worry. I don’t plan to make my Fiancée a widow again anytime soon.”
Roy coughed, choking on his own spit in surprise.
“What?” He asked. “Did you say?”
“I asked Gracia to marry me yesterday.”
There was a moment when Roy’s face was unreadable, the silence eerie. Ed put a restraining hand on Roy’s arm when he raised his gloved hand.
For a minute, everyone thought that Jean Havoc would make Gracia a widow that very day, but instead, Roy kept extending the hand, a bittersweet smile lighting his face.
Al was indeed sitting up and quite alert when Ed let himself into the room. Al was playing a game of cards with Maria Ross and Denny Brosch. Well, more like Denny was holding the cards up for Al and the two were scheming in clipped tones on how to beat Maria.
Al didn’t get to play his hand though, because Ed was hugging his little brother right over the top of Denny’s arms.
“I’ve been…better brother? Not so hard…oh, I’m sorry to worry you, how are you?” Al whispered as Denny stepped back, nudging Ed up into the spot on the bed he had previously been occupying so he could hug his little brother more gently.
Ed closed his eyes, struggling not to cry. He pressed a kiss to his brother’s forehead just before burying his nose deep in that golden tangle. It didn’t matter that Al smelled like a hospital, or that he still had an IV, that he was bandaged and aching and weak looking. He was alive and he was Ed’s little brother still.
“I love you.” Ed whispered, saying it because he was suddenly seized by the fear that he might never get the chance to say the words ever again.
“I love you too big brother.” Al murmured. “They told me about everything that happened.” Al whispered against Ed’s hair, and suddenly it wasn’t Ed holding Al, it was Al holding Ed.
“We brought Winry back with us.” Ed whispered softly. “And auntie wrote us a letter and left us some of Dad’s journals. I waited to read the letter, I wanted you to read it too. To help me open it.”
Al smiled and then changed the subject, sensing that this was something they would discuss later and in more privacy.
“You need a shower brother.”
Ed chuckled softly. “Too much time on a train.”
“Or something.” Al finished, giving his brother a sly smile.
“Jackass.” Ed said, hugging Al tighter in retaliation.
“Roy and Winry snuck Den in, want to see him?”
“How did you manage?! Well, the nurses didn’t get upset about Zeke…so I suppose…” Al said softly.
“Zeke?” Ed asked curiously.
“Zeke.” Maria interrupted, gesturing to the cardboard medical box that had been relegated to kitten duties.
The tiny animal looked up at Ed as Ed peered over the edge of the cot and meowed belligerently.
“Before you let Winry in, can you please put that pillow over my face and smother me?”
“You have to do it to me first Al, and then I wouldn’t be able to return the favor.”
“Damn.” Al sighed.
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Cross Posted to: steelandsparks fma_yaoi jadedsilk