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23 October 2005 @ 09:39 pm
It’s the End of Amestris as We Know It- Part Six  
Title: It’s the End of Amestris as We Know It- Part Six
Authors: fullmetalkatu and megkips
Series: It’s the End of Amestris as We Know It
Crossing Over: Fullmetal Alchemist and Good Omens
Rating: PG
Warnings: Standard Series Warnings Apply for FMA anime. Complete and Utter Ending Spoilers for Good Omens
Explanation: Basically this is because the new FMA game has a bad guy by the name of Jack Crowley. If any of you have read the book "Good Omens" by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett, you'll understand why we made the connection from Jack Crowley to A.J. Crowley.
Authors' Notes: If you haven't read Good Omens, read it. It's pretty much the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy but with the Bibical End of Days. (We hope that Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett never finds this.)
Chapter links: 1 2 3 4 5
Apology: Sorry that this is so amazingly...late. School and role playing has gotten in the way. But this baby is DONE, finally.

Roy Mustang was leafing through a towering stack of papers that Hawkeye had given him. It was mostly standard military forms, but a yellow sheet of paper had caught his eye. He read over it once, stopped half way through, and forced himself to start over. “I don’t believe it,” he uttered, his voice in shock. “Hawkeye, did you know about this?” He motioned for the first Lieutenant to come over, wide grin plastered on his face.

Hawkeye scanned the paper, “No I didn’t. Certainly a stroke of good luck though.”

Roy gave a small laugh, “Understatement.”

Most of Mustang’s company had decided to take the morning off, hoping to avoid any problems Crowley might have decided to give the colonel first thing in the morning. Oddly enough, Crowley seemed to be quite content to sit in the room and actually work, occasionally glaring at a few plants that seemed to wilt. Mustang found this suspicious, but tomorrow he wouldn’t care if Crowley got run over by a milk truck.

Crowley knew that he was being transferred. Well, at least returning back to England in a day’s time, which was quite certainly the best thing that had happened to him since his stay in Amestris. He decided that it might not hurt the colonel by trying to be nice to him. If anything it might make him paranoid. Crowley liked that.

”Lieutenant Crowley?” Mustang’s voice broke Crowley’s concentration.

”Whatdya want Colonel?” the demon asked, not bothering with any show of respect.

Mustang frowned, but decided that it wasn’t worth arguing over. “I assume that you know you’re being transferred into the West tomorrow?”

”Uh-huh,” Crowley muttered. “A nice break from this shit hole.”

Hawkeye gave Crowley a Look. Mustang continued, “Well, as happy as I am for you to be leaving this shit hole, I regret to inform you that I’m giving you one final mission.”


”Could you please feign interest and stand to attention?”

”Siryessir,” Crowley mumbeled under his breath, removing himself from his rolly-chair and standing to attention.

”I need you to drive Edward and Alphonse to Liore this afternoon. After that there’s no need for you to come back except to return my car and clean out any personal effects.”

”Mission accepted,” the demon sighed and gave the colonel a half hearted salute. “How long’s the drive?”

”4 hours round trip. You’re leaving in 15 minutes. I suggest you eat now, you’ve got a long trip ahead of you?” Roy Mustang gave Crowley the most sincere smile, which Crowley knew was mocking him.

15 minutes, 5 hamburgers and 1 angry Elric brother later, Crowley, Edward and Alphonse were all situated in Roy Mustang’s “company” (loosely meaning ‘the car Mustang and assorted employees use to sneak out of work and drop people off places’) car. Any and all belongings the two brothers had were stored up in the passenger’s seat, and Crowley had decided that the mere mentioning of the radio might get him killed, so it was best to drive to Liore in silence.

30 minutes into the car ride, Ed decided to aggravate the driver. “Are we there yet?” He placed his feet between the headrest of the passenger seat, his boots off.

Crowley attempted to be patient. “No. We’ve got an hour and a half. Go to sleep or something. And put your shoes back on, your foot smell like greased up rancid fish that’s been lying on top of the Pyramids at Giza.”


”Never mind.”

’It’s gonna be a long trip,’ Crowley thought to himself. “Ed, take your bloody feet off the passenger seat and put some shoes on otherwise I’m gonna put on the RADIO!”

Aziraphale wasn’t surprised when he received three visitors at work. The fat bald man, the woman, and the palm tree. They didn’t have an appointment, but the Fuehrer was waiting for them. Aziraphale hadn’t said anything to them aside from, “You may go in.” Ever since talking to Crowley he had become suspicious of the group. And getting involved with the other side was never a good idea.

Envy closed the door to Bradley’s office and locked it. “We have orders for you to fire your secretary.”

"I rather like him." Bradley chuckled. "He makes a rather good cup of tea."

"He's a threat," Envy glared at the eyepatched man. "He could learn too much. He's obviously trying to,"

"We need to be rid of him," Lust frowned.

”Besides,” the palm tree waved his hand casually, “We’ve already got you a very nice replacement."


"Pretty." Gluttony gave a wide grin.

"She is, I would imagine, good at following orders." Envy smiled. "She's also very young."

“And what proof do you have of her character that she would not spy on us?”

Lust gave a small grin, “She’s one of us.”

”Besides, you have no choice in the matter,” Envy piped up, “This is a direct order from someone you should know better than to say no to.”

"Ah. I see." He frowned. "Is she here?"

Aziraphale could have sworn he saw a puddle by his desk. He blinked, as to make sure. The puddle disappeared.

The puddle of water had slipped under the door to the Fuehrer’s office. “My new secretary is a puddle of water?”

"Witty, very witty." Envy scowled.

"Meet Sloth," Lust smiled.

The puddle of water was gone. Instead there stood a woman who seemed to be Lust’s height, with long brown hair. She wore a light purple suit jacket and a matching skirt. “A pleasure to meet you sir.”

"Already dressed for the job, I see." Bradley chuckled. "Alright, do we have a reason for her to be here? It would look suspicious..."

”Just fire him,” Envy suggested, shrugging. “I mean come on, you run this country. Use your imagination!”

Bradley gave a boisterous laugh. "And we have documents for her?"

Lust nodded and produced a thin manila folder from the black coat she was wearing, “For the time being, she’s Juliet Douglas. All other information will be in there.”

"I see. Well. Nothing left to do but to be rid of Mister Zi."

“Have fun giving him the slip,” Envy grinned and walked towards the door.

The three sins left the office, not bothering to close the door behind them. Bradley gave a very small sigh, “Raphael, may I have a word with you in my office?”

Aziraphale looked up from his paperwork, slightly surprised. “Certainly!”

"I have something to tell you." Pause. "Please, sit down. This may be a bit of a shock."

The angel nodded and seated himself in front of the Fuehrer’s desk, unsure of what was coming. He thought about it for a moment. Had he done anything wrong? Did he make bad tea?

"We have to let you go," He closed his eyes. "I am reluctant to do so, please understand..."

”Er,” the angel paused, unsure what to make of it. It looked like his stay in Amestris was over. “It’s okay, I understand.”

"I'm very sorry. Thank you for taking this so well."

There was another awkward silence.

"You are dismissed." Bradley smiled.

“Right, right,” Aziraphale muttered. “Bye.” He trudged out of the office and stared at his desk. He hadn’t brought anything personal with him, so it was already cleaned. That was it, he could go home. Everything had gone according to plan. Everything was set up, all that had to be done was for the Elric brothers to set everything in motion. Odd, how unsatisfactory pushing the apocalypse into motion was. Aziraphale shrugged the feeling off and began to leave Central headquarters. He figured that his book shop was lonely without him.


The remaining hour and a half of the journey to Liore had passed by without a sound from the Elric brothers. Crowley was grateful for that, as he had a headache.

Edward had nearly fallen asleep in the backseat when Crowley slammed the brakes. The car had stopped in what seemed to be the middle of the desert. The only thing that told them where they were was a sign to the left of the car that read, “Liore City Limits”. Crowley grinned cheerfully, “Everybody out!” Ed looked from the window to the back of Crowley’s head.

”You’re kidding me, right?”

”The colonel said to take you to Liore. We’re at the Liore city limits. Out! Now!” The demon turned his head around, a grin across his face.

”You bastard!”

”Flash bastard!” he corrected.

”Brother, let’s just get out of the car. It can’t be that far of a walk,” Al reasoned, trying to calm Edward down.

”Listen to your brother shrimp boy!”


”You,” Crowley’s expression soured. He let his sunglasses slide down the bridge of his nose very slightly, just enough to show his yellow irises. “Now get out of here.” A reptilian hiss accompanied his statement.

Twenty minutes later, heading back to East Headquarters, Crowley could have sworn Ed's screams of, "I hate the desert!" He laughed to himself and hit the gas. All he had to do was return Mustang’s car and then he could get the Hell out of this damned country. He couldn’t wait. He also couldn’t help returning to Eastern HQ in under an hour because he was speeding.

”Back so soon?” Mustang looked up from his paper work. Crowley threw the keys to the company car at Mustang’s head.

”That I am! And with that said, good bye Colonel Shit Face! I hope you get blown up!”

Enter one of Mustang's rare deer-in-the-headlight looks. "Excuse me?"

”You heard me,” Crowley threw his military jacket at Mustang’s head, switching it for the leather jacket that hung on the coat tree. “By the way, keep the plants. I know ya love to procrastinate.” The demon sauntered over towards the door, grinning. “See ya in Hell!”

Mustang was silent when the door slammed.

It was like a weight had been taken off his chest. He could live again. Crowley was gone! Rejoice! “No more work for today,” he said. “Get out, all of you. Free afternoon.”


Roy Mustang looked around at his Crowley-free office and gave a content sigh. Everyone had gone home for the night after their small victory dance celebrating Crowley’s departure. The only touch of Crowley’s presence was the green house that he had brought with him. Mustang wasn’t sure what to do with it. Crowley had told the colonel that it was now his.

Roy looked around the office to make sure no one was there and walked over to a pot of pansies on his desk and picked up a ruler. He stuck the ruler in between two of the flowers and rustled it around a little. “Straighten up!” he commanded, and then laughed a bit. He felt utterly stupid, but somehow commanding the plants relaxed him. “Hmm, maybe that crazy bastard was onto something after all.”


Crossposted to fmaxgaiman and fm_alchemist
Imagination at it's finestdragontrap on October 24th, 2005 01:50 am (UTC)
LMAO I love the epilogue XD (Although you kinda finished it rather quickly, but Oh well.. What's done is done)
Katu: INDIANA ELRICfullmetalkatu on October 24th, 2005 02:13 am (UTC)
I wish it could have been longer, but we got so busy and had to finish it fast. ;_;
Imagination at it's finestdragontrap on October 24th, 2005 02:15 am (UTC)
Awww... Oh well, it was still a good read
wrecking disco ball.: laughing soujiroulook_alive on October 24th, 2005 10:09 pm (UTC)
completely random: your icon makes my soul happy. XD