Augustus Gloop! Augustus Gloop!
That ressurected nincompoop!
Who could return this beast
To gorge and guzzle, feed and feast
On everything he wanted to?
Great Scott! It simply wouldn't do!
If again this pig might live,
We're positive he'd never give
Even the smallest bit of fun
Or happiness to anyone.
Yet someone used alchemy
To return this brat to you and me.
Carefully they brought back this pest
And now he plagues you, me, and all the rest!
A quick discussion with my wife provoked:
And of course, everyone seeks the Philosopher's Gobstopper.
My head hurts.