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27 June 2005 @ 09:54 pm
Sad, but interesting, speculation  
acexkeikai and I were discussing what a Hollywood-made FMA movie would be like. I'm sure, of course, it would suck like a vaccum cleaner, but I speculated on just HOW FMA would be mutilated in the big studios. Here's my thoughts, I'd like to hear everyone elses.

And be bitter. ;)



  • Ed would have matrix-dodge kung-fu for no good reason.
  • Al would get a streamlined, more badass look, and probably have extra tools and attachments. The Swiss Army Brother.
  • They would SOMEHOW manage a car chase.
  • They'd call it the Alchemist's Stone. The wusses.
  • There would be at least one big-star inappropriate piece of casting.
  • Armstrong would not sparkle. The bastards. And he'd probably be played only for laughs.
  • Ed, Al, and Winry would be older.
  • The Sins would probably know each other from the start and be more of a gang.
  • Gluttony would be played for laughs OR he'd become some ravening horror without his pseudo-cuddly look.


Any more thoughts?
 
 
 
Jen_only_of_you_ on June 27th, 2005 07:03 pm (UTC)
I think they would make Gluttony more Peter Pettigrew-ish.

Hehe at Swiss Army Brother.
ᶜ ᵃ ˡ ᵉtumut on June 27th, 2005 07:06 pm (UTC)
i can just picture the whole car chase involving/having something to do with mustang!!! XDDD

the SINNARZ! would be the best gang ever.

Dragon Scholardragonscholar on June 27th, 2005 07:07 pm (UTC)
Yes, Roy would probably be driving, AND snapping his fingers to produce blasts of fire. Ed would be running along the tops of cars while Al and Greed got into a battle of the unwoundable.
(no subject) - tumut on June 27th, 2005 07:09 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - dragonscholar on June 27th, 2005 07:09 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - kaitou_marina on June 27th, 2005 07:10 pm (UTC) (Expand)
hehehefunny: Chibi Kibahehehefunny on June 27th, 2005 07:07 pm (UTC)
probably lots of Winry X Ed scenes, lol and lots of Roy
Dragon Scholardragonscholar on June 27th, 2005 07:08 pm (UTC)
Definitely. They'd probably do some Roy/Riza, and market Roy and Ed to appeal to the older female audience and younger female audience.

Though Christian Bale could make a kickass Roy.
(no subject) - ultra_maniac on June 28th, 2005 12:06 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - miki05 on June 27th, 2005 07:15 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - without_reason on June 27th, 2005 07:43 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Megmegkips on June 27th, 2005 07:07 pm (UTC)
They would probably also add in The Virtues as some irrelevant adversaries/sub plots to the sins!
Dragon Scholardragonscholar on June 27th, 2005 07:11 pm (UTC)
Or the secret society that opposes the sins, with some faux Da Vinci Code type crap to it.
(no subject) - megkips on June 27th, 2005 07:13 pm (UTC) (Expand)
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ᶜ ᵃ ˡ ᵉtumut on June 27th, 2005 07:15 pm (UTC)
roy would get a mandatory shower scene, and be the anti-hero.

roy: no hagane, i am NOT helping you. im after the same guy your after cuz i have my own reasons! and im not following you either, you just happen to be going the same way I am. and! im not sitting with you, im just sitting next to you. *straightens tie*
(Deleted comment)
(no subject) - tumut on June 27th, 2005 07:26 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - dragonscholar on June 27th, 2005 07:44 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - tumut on June 27th, 2005 08:03 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Marikaitou_marina on June 27th, 2005 07:08 pm (UTC)
Ed would have matrix-dodge kung-fu for no good reason.

Al would get a streamlined, more badass look, and probably have extra tools and attachments. The Swiss Army Brother.

They would SOMEHOW manage a car chase.


Actually, I really LIKE those ideas! XDDDDDDDD But that's mostly because I like me a good action movie, and I like seeing FMA in different genre situations as well ^.^
Kalika Maxwellkalikamaxwell on June 27th, 2005 07:12 pm (UTC)
Is it bad of me to want to see such a thing as a 'badass look' on Al? It sounds hilarious. XD;
Dragon Scholardragonscholar on June 27th, 2005 07:16 pm (UTC)
Draw away ;)
(no subject) - without_reason on June 27th, 2005 07:17 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - tumut on June 27th, 2005 07:28 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - kalikamaxwell on June 27th, 2005 07:32 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - dragonscholar on June 27th, 2005 07:38 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - without_reason on June 27th, 2005 07:40 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - dragonscholar on June 27th, 2005 07:41 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Kalan van Lichensteinroflskate on June 27th, 2005 07:13 pm (UTC)
Part of me gets the feeling that Hughes would either be played as really creepy, or the OMGWISE mentor/father-figure. Which he is NEITHER.
(Deleted comment)
(no subject) - roflskate on June 28th, 2005 08:32 am (UTC) (Expand)
Klinks: alchemist _returningmandibug on June 27th, 2005 07:29 pm (UTC)
*snickers* Al will be 'Swiss Army Alchemist'.
With a bomb!watch. that can always be transmuted back together, no matter how many pieces it's in.

And Lust would, at some point, seduce Furer!Roy. Then Riza would go bitch!kthnxdie on Lust. Because... it's Hollywood.
ACacdragonmaster on June 27th, 2005 08:12 pm (UTC)
Hehe, on that second one, I kinda did that with a 3-page FMA/Matrix Reloaded crossover comic. ^_^;; First page is here, should you be curious, links tot he others on there.
(no subject) - mandibug on June 28th, 2005 03:29 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Marikaitou_marina on June 27th, 2005 07:33 pm (UTC)
Ah, another Hollywood genre that I've thought would fit an FMA live-action movie well is the Indiana Jones-style adventure movie (National Treasure, The Mummy, etc.) where Ed's the plucky, smarmy explorer and Al's his bumbling sidekick, and they go search for shinies in the desert and find the uber-secret map to the Philosopher's Stone by solving the Sphinx's riddle!

...or something like that ^.^;;;;
Cynthia: LOVE!csakuras on June 28th, 2005 05:24 pm (UTC)
...I don't know about anyone else, but I'd really like that.
Kaoruaiko_yamada on June 27th, 2005 07:40 pm (UTC)
And you know there would be a massive explosion in the special effects warehouse.
Ed: ZOMG, Winry's been taken prisoner and we've got to save her! That stupid Roy is too busy showering so we have to do it ourselves!
Al: Ok brother! I'll transform into a super motorcycle so we can rescue her!
Zoom zoom zoom!
Then as they're zooming to Winry's aid, the Sinnerz follow them in their totally ghetto street mobile and start using their awesome special effect powers to stop them. Then a car flips, some huge explosions, a lady and her baby carriage are almost hit but nearly avoided, and Ed and Al lose the Sinnerz and end up at the warehouse for some super fights with lots of explosions and lights and shiney things. Yay!
Dragon Scholar: Crowley WTFdragonscholar on June 27th, 2005 07:42 pm (UTC)
. . . I laughed myself into light-headedness over that.
(Deleted comment)
(no subject) - aiko_yamada on June 27th, 2005 07:46 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - dragonscholar on June 27th, 2005 07:47 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - aiko_yamada on June 27th, 2005 07:49 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - dragonscholar on June 27th, 2005 08:04 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - tumut on June 27th, 2005 08:17 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - aiko_yamada on June 27th, 2005 08:19 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - tumut on June 28th, 2005 10:29 am (UTC) (Expand)
★ちゃん: Frilly Edstar_keziah on June 27th, 2005 07:51 pm (UTC)
As for armor!Al... they'd probably go the same way they did with "Loonatics" and make him shiny metallic black. *gag*
ᶜ ᵃ ˡ ᵉtumut on June 27th, 2005 08:23 pm (UTC)
...ok. i *know* im on crack cuz the bat mobile just flashed in my mind!! XDDDD
Nikki: lazy day (budessa)siriusxremus on June 27th, 2005 09:36 pm (UTC)
I figured I'd actually drop you a line since I just got back from Metrocon where I ran the FMA fan panel. Vic joined us Friday and answered some Q&A and he told us that they're actually seriously considering making a live action movie of FMA. Nothing is set in stone yet but SquareEnix and Bones is apparently very interested in bringing the concept of FMA to a live action and big screen setting or so he reported to us.
[Z]: OMFGzyraxus on June 27th, 2005 11:05 pm (UTC)
That information both is interesting, as a well as frightens me to no end.
(Deleted comment)
(no subject) - fayearashai on June 27th, 2005 11:33 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - purplemewit on June 27th, 2005 11:32 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - tlttlotd on June 28th, 2005 06:51 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - purplemewit on June 28th, 2005 09:47 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - sailormac on June 28th, 2005 08:34 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - siriusxremus on June 28th, 2005 09:56 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - tumut on June 28th, 2005 10:27 am (UTC) (Expand)
CphT, bitches.: not evilladymetaka on June 27th, 2005 11:49 pm (UTC)
It would have to be PG-13 minimum, cause you know Hollywood can't make a movie without at least one love/smut scene in it, and for God's sake, we have at least two, max four, potential Hollywood-friendly couples (meaning: hetero and photogenic) in FMA; Ed/Win, Roy/Riza, Hughes/Gracia, and Lust/anyone.

Al would definitely be CG'd, and played by a 30-year-old man trying to sound like a 14-year-old boy.

Riza, despite being a fantastic markswoman, would get in a catfight with Lust, instead of just shooting her.

And riding on the success of Harry Potter, it would be called the Sorcerer's Stone, and instead of alchemists, Ed, Al, Roy, and the rest would be magicians.

I have no faith in Hollywood and pray they aren't reading this.
Velvet Macevelvet_mace on June 28th, 2005 08:50 am (UTC)
Mustang would be black, and he'd be voiced by James Earl Jones.

Envy would see the error of his ways and become their friend and want to help him.

Rose and Ed would fall in love. The baby would mysteriously turn out to be Ed's (through some night of passion earlier in the series.)

Al would come back as himself at 15, not 10, all memories intact, and his brother wouldn't be thrown into another world.