Mella-Chan (jademustang) wrote in fm_alchemist,

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I come bearing Mustang Drabble! (Spoilers AHOY!)

Just figured I'd drop off this little drabble here. For anyone who hasn't seen past episode 25 DO NOT READ! THIS HAS SPOILERS FROM ALL SORTS OF EPISODES!!!

now that Ive got that out of the way.

Title: Just a little Longer
Rating: G
Warnings: SPOILERS!!! all for after ep. 25.
Roy can't sleep and his mind wanders to everything thats happened.

This is just so wrong. Lying here with the blankets in tangles around me with the feel of my wet hair clinging to my forehead, and the sound of people on the street outside, completely oblivious to the sins I’ve committed. They’re all so…naïve. It’s almost sickening how cheerful they are. They can just go through their happy lives thinking that whatever happens the military will protect them.

Hah, the military. That’s a laugh. We can’t even deal with what’s going on inside our ranks, let alone what’s going on outside them. I can’t remember the last time I actually enjoyed my job. I’ve worked this hard to get to the top and I’m starting to think, that just maybe that isn’t where I want to be right now. I could do nothing in the Ishbal massacre but follow orders, I couldn’t keep Edward away from the search for the Philosopher’s stone, I couldn’t even save my best friends life. My inability killed Maes, just like it’s killed so many others. Wouldn’t the people out there laugh, if they found out their great Flame Alchemist was nothing but a murderous basket case. The façade of being tactful, and sarcastic is getting harder and harder to keep up. And If what the others tell me are true, we’re being led by a Homunculus. Isn’t that a sad twist of fate?

Funny how I could kill others but never myself… its almost like I love my own life more than others, even tough I know there’s nothing farther from the truth than that. IF only I could just die. Slip away. Disappear…then everyone would forget me and life would go on. And the Fuhrer can…

No. I can’t die yet…Maes fought to push me to the top. Riza…Riza too is doing her damnedest to keep me on track. And If I die without finishing my duty, I will be throwing all of their hard work away…and if the Fuhrer was a Homunculus like I’ve been told, then if I die now, I leave the world in his hands?

No way. I am not leaving my men under his care. Not Fuery, or Havoc or Hawkeye. Not even the dog. I can’t let go yet!

A little longer…If I can just keep going just a little longer, just long enough to topple his rule, I can die then…

Yes. That sounds about right…

done in about 10 minutes. comments adored!

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