purplemewit (purplemewit) wrote in fm_alchemist,
purplemewit
purplemewit
fm_alchemist

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Roy's a minskirt fan

I was struck by inspiration because my A/C's currently broke, and we dunno what's wrong with it (my dad is a foreman for a heating and air conditioning company, and he dunno what's wrong with it >.<

But anyway, so yeah. Central's A/C is broke.



'character thoughts go here'

Miniskirt Fan

The newspaper said it wasn’t supposed to go over 80 degrees today. The newspaper lied. The thermometer read 95 degrees when the Colonel went to check it for himself. He didn’t believe what he had heard when he was told.

That, and air conditioning was broken. For the entirety of Headquarters.

Fortunately, he had Riza Hawkeye in his office. She had gone and fetched fans from the supply shed before they ran out. There were currently two in the window behind the Colonel’s desk.

Everyone, including Hawkeye, had their uniform jackets slung in various ways over the backs of their chairs. Complaints against the Second Lieutenant had stemmed the flow of smoke from the human chimney known as Jean Havoc.

They thought they’d be all right.

Suddenly, they all heard a pop. They turned toward the plug that the fans were plugged into. It was smoking, and the wall around it was blackened. They had blown a fuse.

“It seems the fans have broken,” Farman said.

Breda, Havoc, and Fury stared at the fans as they slowed to a stop. As any lingering breeze dissipated, their gaze shifted as one to the Colonel.

They then huddled up. “The Colonel is an Alchemist! He might be able to fix it!” Breda said.

“He’s also a highly ranked officer, he might be able to get someone to come in and fix it,” Fury said.

“No, if they haven’t fixed the A.C. yet, they’re not going to fix one office’s outlet,” Havoc reasoned. “We’ll have to ask the Colonel.”

The man in question watched the group, wondering what they were conspiring.

They suddenly lined up in front of his desk, all saluting. “Sir! May we ask a favor of you?” Havoc said. He took charge, since he was the highest ranked of the three.

“If it’s to fix the electricity, I’m an Alchemist, not an electrician. The best I can do is report the problem to maintenance.” He reached for the phone.

“Pleasepleasepleasepleaepleasepleaseplease!” they begged. Havoc and Breda each clung to a leg, and Fury to the arm that was resting on the phone.

The Colonel merely sat there for a few moments, as his subordinates tried their best puppy-dog expressions. They were surprisingly good at it.

“Fine!” the Colonel decided. He was getting quite hot himself, and his men hanging on him weren’t going to help matters.

He stood up, and went to the bookshelf. Interspersed among the books on policies, rules, and personnel records, there was some alchemy books the Colonel had placed there, for some variety. He looked through the titles. How to Study Alchemy and not Lose Your Lady, 101 Alchemic Circles for the Bedroom. ‘Whoops! How did that end up here?’ He took it off the shelf, stuffed into a desk drawer, and locked the drawer. Electrical Alchemy was the only book that sounded promising.

He jumped into his usual way of going through books, to the index. He soon found the formula he’d need, as well as materials.

“I’m going to need some copper wire.” Mustang finally said to those waiting anxiously around him.

The three men clamored out of the room without even waiting for orders. “I’ll go with them,” Farman said, and left the room.

And then it was only Hawkeye and Mustang left for the time being. “I must say I take issue with some of your reading choices, sir,” she said without looking up from her work.

“You know, Lieutenant, a day like this would be a good day to take my miniskirt design for a test drive. You’ve got to be hot in those pants,” Mustang opened a different drawer of his desk and pulled out the prototype, sized just for her.

She stared at it. ‘It would feel good to get out of these pants. However, that’d mean giving in to this man’s fantasy.’ “Alright, Colonel. I’ll wear it for today.”

The Colonel’s face arced into a devilish grin. “I’ll give you a few minutes.” He got up and left the office.

Hawkeye put the skirt on, and snapped the shortened cape section around it. She expected she looked quite ridiculous.

“Alright, Colonel,” she said once she had changed.

Her superior’s face was victoriously smug, as he came back into the room. “Ah, I must say it looks quite good on you, Lieutenant.”

She sat back at her desk and went to work again, trying to hide her flush.

Sometimes having your desk at the front of the office was a bad thing. Sure, it was good so that you would be the first to be able to react if something were to happen, but it was also bad, for instance if you were caught off guard, you’d be the first to die, or when you’re wearing your superior’s idea for the new female uniform, and the other men from the office walk in.

She’d never seen a human being drool so much. Havoc gaped, Breda drooled, Fury blushed, and Farman simply stared. Then they all looked at the Colonel, who stood near the open window. They dropped the wire they were carrying, and ran toward him.

Fury and Breda each clung to a leg, and Havoc to his chest. Farman simply stood nearby, sobbing happily. “We’ll follow you forever!” they cried.

Thus, the fans went unfixed, just so they couldn’t give Hawkeye an excuse to change back into her pants.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*is shot for book titles* Sorry! I couldn't resist! Oh, and I'm using the minskirt design from that pic of Ross wearing it, and Hawkeye punching Roy for giving it to her. *nodnod* oh, and I wrote this with Roy's songfile on repeat, for inspiration.



Woot!
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