purplemewit (purplemewit) wrote in fm_alchemist,

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Time for a crackfic!

I got this idea while mowing the lawn of all things... dunno how that happened.

Ed was home in Resembol after undergoing some repairs to his automail. Of course, by "some repairs", all that remained salvageable was the socket. Ed now remained at the Rockbell house, waiting for the burises and knots on his head to heal.

Winry accepted a package at the door. It was long, flat, and wide. The letters IKEA were emblazoned on the side of it.

"Ed, give me a hand bringing this in," Winry said, holding up one end.

Ed did so, more wanting to dodge Winry's vengeful wrench than anything else, and carried it into the workroom.

"What is this?" Ed asked.

"It's a new set of shelves that Grandma ordered. It's from some new store by the Eastern headquarters."

Winry cracked the box open, and pulled out the assembly instructions. She promtly tossed them aside.

A few curses and thrown wrenches later, she had succeeded in breaking a few of the boards that made up the shloves, and what she had managed to put together did not resemble a shelf by any stretch of the imagination. It was more like modern art.

Winry sat in a corner, fuming to herself.

That was whe Ed stepped in. He tried putting it together the normal way. He thought he had some success, and stood with his arms crossed triumphantly.

A moment later, it all collapsed.

Ed went on a tirade, that was only calmed after Winry, and her wrench, had recovered from the severe blow to her ego.

"Alright, Ed! I guess we have no other choice! Transmute the blasted thing!"

Ed clapped his hands, and pressed them to the pile of pieces. They glowed for a moment, but then there was nothing.

"Ed! You're useless!" Winry shouted. She prepared another swing.

Ed ducked, and raised his hands in surrender. "I can't do it, Winry, I can't make something out of this piece of crap! It violates equivalent exchange!"


My dad came up with the punchline, my first idea was have it be fixed, and Ed be all smug about it... I dunno which one I like better.

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