Log in

No account? Create an account
14 April 2005 @ 04:04 am
My first fma fic...  
Notes: Hiya! I'm a longtime lurker, but it's a policy of mine not to make an introduction without something to post. But I've had an idea for an Ed and Rose fic for a really long time now, and I'm pretty happy with how it came out! I love Ed and Rose so much ^^ Anyway, first time poster, so C&C please, kthnx ^^

Title: Rose's Anguish
Rating: NC-17
Warning: PWP, paraphilia, possible spoilers for the last few episodes.
Summary: Rose goes into a hellish craze when she realizes Dante means harm to her only child. Ed confesses his love for Rose and finds a way to free her from her madness ... a sexy way.

Rose's shrill cries sent paralyzing chills through Dante's body. "GIVE ME BACK MY BABY!!!" Rose screamed as she grabbed her baby from her puppeteer's arms. "YOU'LL NEVER TAKE HIM FROM ME AGAIN!" With two swift movements of her right hand, Rose removed her soiled panties and positioned her newborn under her dialated baby box.

"Rose, no! Stop this madness right now! Think of your child!!!" Ed screamed as he unbuttoned the top of his pants.

"No Ed, I have to do this! How could I ever expect you to understand?!" Rose began pinching her left nipple in anticipation of what was to come.

"Nooooooooo!!" Ed slammed both of his hands together and thrust them towards the ground. Flashes of blue light danced around Ed as he pulled something from wence his hands once laid.

Dantes statuesque body was still frozen from Rose's siren like yells, but that quickly changed as she realized what Ed was transmuting the very ground beneath them. Her seemingly ageless face quickly became wrinkled and distorted with fear.

A devilish smirk spread across Ed's face as his newly transmuted toy fully emerged. "I warned you once Rose, I won't be so forgiving upon the next."

Rose's head flung around like that of a rag doll's until her eyes met Ed's. "I'm the only one who can save this child now. I won't let anyone take him from me
again. NO ONE!!!!" Rose pinched her nipple with great force as she began to thrust her child between her legs.

"I warned you, Rose!!" Ed yelled as he pulled down his pants and exposed his private parts. "I didn't want to do this, but you've left me no choice!" Ed grabbed both sides of his newly transmuted blow-up lamb and quickly began shoving his winky in and out of its tight, lubricated bum.

Dante was having trouble comprehending the horrific sight before her eyes. To her left was Rose trying to shove her child back into her womb and in front of her was Ed making love to a blow up lamb that he kept referring to as "Hohenheim". She was having trouble controlling herself--she was horrified and at the same time, more aroused than she had been in centuries. If this went on much longer she very well might soil herself.

"COME BACK TO ME, MY CHILD!!" Rose had now managed to push one of her breasts up to her mouth and was now sucking on her own nipple. With her newly freed hand she reached down and began to push the baby deeper within her. The once notable screams of a newly born child were now muffled by Rose's inner vaginal walls.

Ed knew his plastic pal couldn't hold out much longer, not with how violently he was penetrating it. "Just a little longer Hohenheim, I'm almost there." Ed potitioned himself and then threw his head back and moaned with great vigor, "HOHENHEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIM!!!!!" The sheer force of Ed's orgasm caused him to faint and send the little lamb flying 5 feet across the room.

Rose had no sooner managed to squeeze her labia around the torso of her now comatose child when she realized what was heading her way. "No Ed, Whyyyyy?!?!"

The inflated animal struck Rose right between the eyes, and before Rose could even hit the ground she was out cold. Dante, who had just witnessed the entire scene, could not do or say anything. She stood there in complete shock while Ed lay in front of her, his pants down and winkie now half mast. Rose was now sprawled on the floor to her left with a presumably dead baby half way out of her gigi, and there was Dante standing in the middle of it all.

Dante then proceeded to soil herself and afterwards left the room.

The end.

Current Mood: excitedexcited
Burgerburg3r on April 14th, 2005 06:51 pm (UTC)
I was just trying to see what would happen if Rose and Ed's relationship took a slightly different path is all... Too bad you didn't finish reading it, the ending was one of the better parts i felt!
Bringing Order into your Chaos: okami_userokami_hu on April 15th, 2005 01:52 pm (UTC)
Khm. With the following comments, I do not, under any cicrcumstances, try to qualify the author's state of mind. I also object to any accusantions of being a flamer. This is only my personal opinion and I do not want to get stabbed for it. Thank you for keeping this in mind.

Okay, I read it. My eyes started to water but I read it. Pray tell me, where is Rose and Ed's _relationship_ in here? What I see is still mindless, disgusting, tasteless crack. Somebody once said "One must make sense about not making sense." You made no sense. Also, even though I'm not a native speaker and therefore, I have some shortcomings when it comes to style, the wordage of this fic felt... childish. On purpose, I assume, since according to your userinfo, you're 20. You're insisting, that this is no parody. Ed fucking a blow-up toy? Rose trying to... no, I WON'T write that down. *shudders at the mental image* How could we take you seriously after reading this?
★ Buns of Yogurt ★vejiicakes on April 17th, 2005 12:28 am (UTC)
You just can't appreciate the overwhelming genius and artistry of this ... art!
Bringing Order into your Chaosokami_hu on April 17th, 2005 10:55 am (UTC)
With all the respect, I think, there's something wrong with those, who can. If only it'd be labeled as a parody, I'd say okay, I can forget about it but it ISN'T.
Burgerburg3r on April 17th, 2005 02:59 pm (UTC)
But it wasn't a parody.. if it was, then I would have labeled it as such..
★ Buns of Yogurt ★: Baby why you gotta make me hit you?vejiicakes on April 25th, 2005 03:28 pm (UTC)
Besides which, even if it were a parody, that in itself ought to be self evident. If the reader needs to be told that such is the case, perhaps that reader can't be trusted to acknowledge, or even consider the possibility, of finding the great genius and deep meaning of the written piece in question.

Additionally, just because okami_hu can't, doesn't mean that others can't (or that there's something wrong with them if they do). By that same token of course, there's nothing /wrong/ with okami for not seeing its ingeniousness, but prior to this point, never was such a thing insinuated--how delightful that they should, "in all respect", find fault in those who were able to make something out of what they could not.

burg3r, I think you applied a good deal of symbolic imagery, which supercedes the writing style used:

The lamb which Ed transmutes symbolizes, rather literally, the oft used sacrificial lamb, innocent and blameless, who has no chance of surviving an impending challenge, but is placed there for what is believed to be the common good. The image of the lamb echoes that of Rose's baby, who Dante had intended as her own sacrificial lamb in a sense. As a literary device, the sacrificial lamb's (generally not used as literally) sole purpose in life is to die dramatically and spur a primary character into action. In this case, Rose, who at this point in the series had been so overwhelmed
by the weight life had placed on her fragile psyche, she'd withdrawn into her shell to take comfort in silence--it was learning of Dante's intended harm on her child alone that provided that catalyst for Rose to break out of it. But of course, in her attempted "unbirthing" of her baby, Rose made her child her own sacrificial lamb, suffocating the baby in the canals that birthed it.

Ed, in his journey to where they are now, has little to no regard for archaic systems that would sacrifice innocents for another's benefit, and as he violates the transmuted toy, he effectively states without words, "Fuck the system!" or, in the very least, "Fuck this sacrificial lamb business,"
not liking the manner in which Rose has confused her desire to keep her child safe with her desire to keep her baby so much in her envisioned idyll that she'd rather "unmake" it than let it live on sullied by the ill effects of Dante's treatment. Ironically, Ed is no better about separating his conflicting ideas than Rose--he fucks the lamb in anger and hatred and calls it Hohenheim, but it's a hatred borne of his pure, idealized love for his father.

There's more, I'm sure, but the beauty of it all blinds me. burg3r, you are my hero. Y'oughta do this more often ^^
Burgerburg3r on April 25th, 2005 10:59 pm (UTC)
Why thank you vejiita4eva, I'm glad someone got what I was trying to go for. :)