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09 April 2005 @ 07:11 pm


Pairing: none

Rating:G, could be PG but probably not.

This could be considered crack... No real place in the timeline. Features the military, also Ed and some Al.



It was a normal, random day at the office. The sun was shining through the windows, and Breda was cowering on top of the cabinets staring warily at the cage on Fury’s desk.

“They’re just butterflies.” Fury said confusedly.

“But why are they there?” Havoc asked.

“They were lonely.” Havoc rolled his eyes and looked at Breda.

“Get down from there you coward.”

“No! They’ll get me!” Farman looks up from the newspaper.

“I thought you were only afraid of dogs.”

“I’m not afraid of them, they just disgust me.”

“Well, why the fear of butterflies?”

“They’re evil!”


A young Breda is riding a tricycle down a sunny lane. He sees a butterfly and goes to pick it up, he trips and smashes it. Out of the sky millions of butterflies swarm around him, angered by the death of their second cousin twice removed. They fly up to him and latch on to him one by one. They slowly lift him into the sky and drop him onto the ground. They only lifted him up three feet, but the pain lasted anyway.

Back to life

“It’s too painful to talk about.” Breda exclaims like a drama queen.

“Dude, we just saw the flashback.” Havoc sighed.



“Curse you wolfenzippo!”

“Heh heh heh,” I laugh at my desk.

“Sir? I think you’re over reacting.” Fury points out shyly.

“This is all pointless.” Farman comments.”

“Where did you get the butterflies anyway?” Havoc asked.

“My backyard.”

“No!!!!! You fool!” Breda yells.

“What?” Fury asks. At this point Ed bursts into the room.

“You are not going to believe this!” he exclaimed. “Millions of butterflies are swarming around the base!”

“Where’s Al?” Roy asks coming in. Ed looks startled and looks out the window.


“Al!” the millions of butterflies are dragging him to their lair of pointless evil; you know the kind I mean.

“I knew you shouldn’t have brought the butterflies here but did you listen, no!”

“Breda, shut up, they’re butterflies, what could they possibly do?” Havoc says nonchalantly. Little does he know….

After a long time…

Roy is trying to fry the butterflies into oblivion as everyone else tries to shoot them out of the sky. Ed is making an unsuccessful attempt at slicing them up.

“There are too many of them!” Roy shouts. “Just give the butterflies back Fury!”

“I can’t.”

“What do you mean, you can’t?”

“They’re dead.”


“I guess feeding them sugar water was a bad idea.” Roy grabs container.

“This is salt!”

“We’re doomed!” Breda whimpered/shouted.

“I have an idea!” Havoc shouted.


“I applaud your confidence in me.” He sarcastically replies. He grabs a toaster, some spatulas, and a few other things.

“What are you going to do with that?” Ed asks suspiciously.

“I’m going to jerry-rig the toaster!” he says proudly.


“I’m not quite sure what that means, but that’s impossible.” Fury adds quietly.

“It’s simple.” He starts putting the four spatulas in the slots, one on each side; he opens the toaster and does some technical looking stuff, and positions it at the window. “I hope this works.” He turns on the toaster, the spatulas start to whir and they rocket out of the window. They all stare after it as it explodes leaving a burning trail. As the ashes clear every butterfly was gone.

“There was no way that should have actually worked.” Farman mutters to himself.

“Where’s Al?” Ed asks. They all shrug.

ღ a b b yalistaere on April 9th, 2005 06:14 pm (UTC)
Yep, definitely crack. But funny! XD