O_o I can't quite figure out where this idea came from. I think my brain exploded into crack or something. I tried to stop it but...but......
Edward Elric: Telemarketing prodigy. Automail hand allows for unsurpassed dialing speed. Autmail leg involved the car, a cow and is never spoken of. Gets job at major Telemarketing company in order to find mom via "The List" and regain Al's lost car.
Alphonse Elric: Had a car. Mom drove away with car. Wears armor suit to hide despression over car-loss. Helps Ed train his persuasion skills. Sworn into secrecy about Ed's leg.
Winry Rockbell: Makes Ed's automail in minimal attempt to help regain Al's car. Also sworn into secrecy about Ed's leg. Drops random clues anyway to try and help Ed overcome TEH TRAUMA.
Roy Mustang: Telemarketing company Vice President. Talks a mean bargain. Wants to become Company CEO and ban Casual Friday.
Maes Hughes: Generator of "The List". Collects information about List members to be used in Telemarketing.
Riza Hawkeye: Roy's secretary [bodyguard]. Brings gun to work for "protection" sake.
Jean Havoc: Faithful follower of Roy and his 'Casual Friday Ban'. Also seeks the banning of 'No Smoking' signs in office that he ignores already anyway. Often uses "The List" as means of finding dates.
Kain Fury: Newbie Telemarketer. Often talked into buying things from members of "The List" instead of selling to them. Sneaks animals into cubicle and often tinkers with phone.
Heymans Breda: Fears the phone. Still uncertain as to why he's a Telemarketer.
Alex Louis Armstrong: Ability to make voice sparkle. Scares members of "The List" into purchases.
Homunculi: After "The List". Why? Dunno.
Scar: Special agent from the "Do Not Call List". Serial line cutter.
*sobs* I'm sorry! I couldn't stop it!