I watched the stars crash in the sea. (tsukitaichou) wrote in fm_alchemist,
I watched the stars crash in the sea.

Random Crack!Post for you to enjoy

...And Hohenheim said, "Let there be light!"
And he was.

And then we got home.
And found the Bible.
If you're....really into the Bible, just...kindly, don't read the post.

guardianmars did, like, seriously ALL of this except typing it up.
I was too busy checking journals to help much. XD

Book of Genesis

And Hohenheim said, "Let there be light!" and he was light. Hohenheim saw that the light was good and he separated the light from the darkness. Hohenheim called the light "hikari" and the darkness he called "Dante." And there was Dante and there was Hikari - the first day.

And he who was of the Light turned to the Darkness who was in mourning for the loss of their child, or so it seemed. And Hohenheim said "He can live again."

But their trial was wrought with failure and instead Envy was created.

And the Darkness smiled and said "Let us make more of them! Let us make them in our image, in our likeness. And let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock and the earth, and over and over all the creatures that move along the ground.

So Darkness created them in his own image, in the image of Them, he created them, male and female he created them.

Then Hohenheim said, "I give you every seed-bearing plant on the face of this whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it. I give you poppies with which to make Laudanum, which will cure you of all ailments..."

Note: 'Laudanum' is more of a reference to Paracelsus, as opposed to Amestris' Hohenheim, in case you're confused by that.

Book of Revelation

A great and wonderous sign appeared in the heaven : A woman clotheed with the sun with the moon under her feet and a streak of pink in her hair. She was pregnant and cried out in pain as she was about to give birth. Then another sign appeared in heaven: an enormous green dragon with palm tree hair. The dragon stood in front of the woman, so that he might snatch up her child the moment it was born. So that he might snacth up mother and child and deliver them unto Darkness.

The woman fled into the depths of the city to a place prepared for her by refugees of war and was made their holy mother. And the Darkness was enraged. She had shed her former body and would soon need another. The Darkness took her rage out on her children; those she had created in Their image.

And there was a war in Heaven. Edward and his brother fought against the dragon, and the dragon and his Homonculi fought back.

But he was not strong enough, and they lost their place in Heaven. The great dragon was hurled down - that ancient serpent called Envy who leads the new Homonculi astray. He was hurled through the Gate shouting gleefully: "Take me to Hohenheim!"

(feel free to make crack!image edits with this if you'd like. ^^)
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