If Dr. Seuss did FMA we'd have:
"Havoc Hears a Who"
"One Sin, Two Sin, Red Sin, Blue Sin"
"Alex Louis Armstrong Will You Please Go Now? (Or At Least Put On A Shirt?)"
"If I Ran The Military" (The Roy Mustang Story)
"How Greed Stole Christmas"
"Red Stones and WHAM!"
"Gun-crazy Mayzie" (With Riza Hawkeye)
Of course we won't even MENTION the new kid's show "Hughes' Clues"