how quickly things change (swivelchair) wrote in fm_alchemist,
how quickly things change
swivelchair
fm_alchemist

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Hehe, first post, thought this might amuse some of you!

In a writing test simulation thing we were doing for my English class, I recieved this prompt:

By the year 2020 the production of gasoline-consuming vehicles will be prohibited due to harmful amounts of pollution let off by the gas.

You must write a letter to a car-manufacturer with a substitute for the gasoline, including how it will be helpful to the enviornment.


WELL. This was a two day project and the whole first day we were stuck planning... and I got THIS:



Dear Mr. Kain Fuery,

For years your world-famous vehicles have been the top of their class in both safety and performance. From design to maitenance to customer satisfaction, Black Hayate has the top quality spot -- and here at Leto Enterprises, we would like to help you soar further.

As I'm sure you are aware, gasonline usage has nearly tripled over the past 10 years. Unfortunately, the people and the enviornment have become far too exposed since 2005 and this pollution is taking its toll on the country and the planet. Last month, President Riza Hawkeye passed a bill from Congress that will require car manufacturers such as yourself to permanently suspend the production of gasonline-consuming vehicles by the year 2020. Let Enterprises believes that we can assist you in meeting these requirements with as few negative reprecutions as possible.

For the past decade, American citizens have been forced to deal with the ever-increasing price of gasoline and the polllution it has been causing. Luckily, a light of change has been spotted in this bleak tunnel. In December of last year, two Japanese scientists, Edward and Alphonse Elric, made a phenomenal discovery. They found that a complex mixture of strontium hydroxide and silver sulfate can be used much like gasonline is today. Once liquified, 3 gallons of this conction can keep your average SUV running for several months on end.

Three weeks ago, our Secretary of the Department of Human Transportations, Roy Mustang, met with Japanese Prime Minister Maes Hughes. We have been given full permission to exploit the uses of silver strontium suldroxide which is being more commonly referred to as 'Triple S'

This new gasonline substitute, however, is not only benificial to our causes. As a matter of fact, Mr. Fuery, it would be a key asset to the country's enviornment. For one, Triple S would be significantly cheaper than gasoline, not to mention the sky-rocketing miles-per-hour it would provide. Admittedly, there is one negative factor to Triple S. The fumes released by this mixture are mildly toxic and can diminish the hemoglobin in one's body if faced with over-exposure. Thankfully, Leto Enterprises has parented an ingeneous creation that not only filters the threatening toxins, but also pushes "green gases" into the atmosphere. These green gases have been proven to both lengthen the life-span of many specimens of vegitation and to gradually repair out battered ozone layer. Triple S would also assist the demolition of the green house effect that has been terrorizing our world with global warming for far too many years.

So as you can see, Mr. Fuery, Let Enterprises can greatly benifit your company and the billions of Americans who will also be affected by this ban on gasoline. We are offering you the perfect gasoline substitute and the car valve to filter it into an effective, enviornmental-friendly substance that is sure to do wonders for us all. Thank you for your time and attention, Mr. Fuery. I hope to hear from you soon so that we can kick off this world-shaking revolution.

Sincerly yours,

[my signature]
Emily Wolf, Let Enterprises
Vice President

Jean Havoc, CEO

July 2nd, 2015



I deserve to be shot for that. *snerks*
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