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29 January 2005 @ 11:17 pm
Drabble request!  
I'm not the best of writers, but I absolutely love writing drabbles about incredibly odd pairings. So if you want one written about your OTP, no matter HOW crack-filled it is (I'm serious, I'll write anything,) just comment and I'll post/reply with it. You can specify which if you want.

Greed was greedy. He wanted fame, money and women, and in his present state, he only had a chance of getting one. The oil really had been only lukewarm--he hadn't been trying to look tough. If they were trying to drown him, that wouldn't work, either. Greed wouldn't die even if you killed him. He had, however, fallen asleep at some point.
After a few small eternities, a blinding light interrupted Greed's sleep. Something touched his eyes, and he slowly opened them to reveal a smirking face above him with long hair cascading down. 'Envy?' Well, this situation was familiar. That goddamn bastard woke him up to do it again!?!? Rather, he had taken the opportunity to finally be on top for a change. Greed was too greedy to be an uke, damnit.
"Hello, Greed," a lovely voice purred. Greed's vision cleared to reveal Lust, leaning over him with her hips pressed against his legs. "I was worried that you would ignore me forever."
"Whoa...what the fuck?" Greed smirked. "You finally couldn't resist anymore, eh?"
Lust stroked a finger in circles around Greed's nipple, the finger coming away coated in gooey black. "You could say that. I decided to give you another chance."
Greed smirked bitterly. "I'm not gonna work for da--AH!!" Greed's body tensed tightly. "WHAT THE FUCK!?!?"
Lust pulled away from where she was crouched between Greed's legs. "Don't worry, it only hurts the first time."
darjeeling darlingmalika on January 29th, 2005 08:19 pm (UTC)
::nibbles on Rinny:: <3
S.K.T.: BABIES XDtsukishirou on January 29th, 2005 08:37 pm (UTC)
.....Greed/Ed :DDDD I really don't think it's that much of a crack, but I can never figure out how to get them together. ^^;;

Buffalo in a China Shoprinnychan on January 29th, 2005 08:50 pm (UTC)
Ah. You want it to be fluffy, then? Give me a moment in my happy place.




Ed spun on the floor, bringing his boot whirling into Greed's face. The much taller vertically advantaged man stumbled back, reeling from the impact. His entire body trembled and dripped with cold sweat. Looking up, he saw Edward looking at him with a wild, determined, concentrated look in his eye. A look that was very familiar.


That was...Greed felt himself lose his equilibrium, struggling to pull himself together. That boy was... dropping his arms, Greed slowly walked over to Ed, who pulled back his transmuted automail arm with a shout and a threat. "I'm not going to hurt you," Greed murmured in a deadpan, his voice hinting at tears. "I remember...before I was sealed...I knew someone. Someone who made me want more and more and more...but when I lost that person...I lost everything. I would have given everything...but..." Greed lifted his hands, entangling them in Ed's hair, pulling the shocked boy close. Ed began making dramatic gasps with nearly every sentence. "I just wanted more...more...to try to make up for it...I wanted equivalent exchange..." Greed began to sob. "I just wanted equivalent exchange... you...you, you're just like him!! You look just like him!!" Greed gripped the boy tightly. "If only I could get the Philosopher's stone...I could become human...you could get your limbs back...and then I could feel you, touch you, delve deep into your--"

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Ed screamed, plunging his automail straight through Greed's chest. The boy let the corpse fall to the floor and kicked the body.

Three echoing clunks on the floor. "BROTHER, YOU DUMBASS!!!!!"
annamoo on January 29th, 2005 08:47 pm (UTC)
Lust/Archer/Nina >D
Buffalo in a China Shoprinnychan on January 29th, 2005 09:02 pm (UTC)
O_O...challenges are always good!! ^____^

Lust pulled back her whip. "It's no fun when you can't feel it, Frankie."
"That is quite alright. I can imagine how it feels."
"Frankie, darling, you can't. Your entire body is made of metal."
"I don't like to let disabilities control my life. It is actually quite useful at times."
"Don't worry, you'll never get the chance to do that anyway."
"OH, I'm sure that one would have made me scream like this: YAAAH!"

A naked little girl walked in the room.

"Oh, hello, Nina darling. How have you been? Are you settling in well?"

The little girl nodded, perking the small cone-shaped ears her now-dead "father" had installed for her. "Lust-san and Archer-san look wike theyah having fun, Nina-chan wants to have fun too!"

"Okay, Nina-chan."

Nina waddled up to where Archer was screwed to the wall, and stood on a stool. "Open wide for daddy!"

((...oh god that sucked ;_;))
(no subject) - annamoo on January 29th, 2005 09:08 pm (UTC) (Expand)
|<4ti3: havok ded4ti3k4t35 on January 29th, 2005 08:51 pm (UTC)
Buffalo in a China Shoprinnychan on January 29th, 2005 09:46 pm (UTC)
Armstrong clapped his hands together and flexed. "HELLO, STUDENTS! WELCOME TO MY CLASS: "HOW TO BECOME SPARKLY WHEN YOU ARE BORING!" My teaching technique has been passed down through several generations of Armstrongs and is guaranteed to leave you feeling clean and fresh!"

Havoc cringed from his seat. He'd been forced there after the others had found out about his failure with Armstrong's sister.

Greed grinned as he scratched "All your base are belong to ME!!!!!!!!!11" on the inside of his desk.

Kimbley, who didn't know why he was there, blew his desk legs to pieces one by one, until he no longer had a desk, had to request a new one, and then blew those up.

Dorochet was asleep.

"What is WRONG with you young men???" Louis exclaimed. "Why, when I was a boy, my sparkle teacher was my idol! I followed him everywhere! To school, to his house, to his shower, even to his bed! And look how sparkly I turned out! You all must follow my example! It is time for a group lesson. This lesson is a tradition passed down through many generations of Armstrongs. It is called "Circular Sparkle" and demonstrates just how much you can sparkle while in a giant human circle!"

Havoc, Greed, Kimbley, and Dorochet never attended Armstrong's class again.
(no subject) - 4ti3k4t35 on January 29th, 2005 09:48 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - rinnychan on January 29th, 2005 09:49 pm (UTC) (Expand)
kiraqueen on January 29th, 2005 09:00 pm (UTC)
Moofy x Armor!Al

Must contain the line "Aru, get me a soda!"

Buffalo in a China Shoprinnychan on January 29th, 2005 09:58 pm (UTC)
The only way to make it up to the boy was to be his servants for a day.

'Moofy', as Winry had dubbed him, lay back on his bed chewing on some red jelly beans. They were very tasty and made him feel like killing things.

'DAMNIT! THAT WAS MY FAVORITE WHITE SHIRT!' Moofy thought to himself, swallowing a jelly bean. He needed a drink, desperately. He shouted at the top of his lungs, "ARU, GET ME A SODA!"

Clunk. Clunk. Clunk. Al walked into the room. "Sure, Moofy!" The suit of armor pulled open his breastplate, revealing rows of Pepsi, Mountain Dew Code Red and Root Beer. "Take your pick!"

Moofy pulled out a Code Red and began to drink, red liquid dribbling down his chin and onto his ripped shirt. Once his throat felt better, he began to sniffle. "This shirt brings back bad memories. I want a new one."

Al made a movement that interpretted itself as a smile, and began to move toward Moofy's closet. "Well, then let's take it off, shall we?" He pulled out a tight black tank top, the only article of clothing he could find, then brought it back to Moofy's bed.

"I need a hug!"


Moofy looked up at Al pleadingly. "I NEED A HUG!" He lept up and pulled Al down. Soda cans spilled onto the bed as Al's breast plate swung open--he'd never fully closed it. As the armor came down on Moofy, by miraculous and incredibly odd circumstance, Moofy ended up trapped inside Al's armor. Al stood back up before he could get moofy out, and the door swung shut.

It was dark. And cold. And there was something poking at him from behind. Moofy screamed from within the depths of the armor: "OH GOD!!! IT'S LIKE THE GATE GNOMES AGAIN!!! NO, DON'T! AT LEAST USE LUBE THIS TIME!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
(no subject) - kiraqueen on January 29th, 2005 11:58 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - rinnychan on January 30th, 2005 12:07 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - jiah on January 30th, 2005 07:01 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - rinnychan on January 30th, 2005 11:21 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - jeva_chan on January 30th, 2005 01:11 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - jiah on January 30th, 2005 03:49 pm (UTC) (Expand)
♞ lovely little liar ♞: My Crack OTPmetallic_sweet on January 29th, 2005 09:28 pm (UTC)
What my icon says.


Non-con, though.
Buffalo in a China Shoprinnychan on January 29th, 2005 09:39 pm (UTC)
I'll have you know that I am known for twisting around anything you say.

You'll be sorry you asked. <3 I'll get to it later tonight.
(no subject) - metallic_sweet on January 29th, 2005 09:43 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - rinnychan on January 29th, 2005 10:50 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - metallic_sweet on January 30th, 2005 01:30 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - rinnychan on January 30th, 2005 02:32 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - malika on January 30th, 2005 03:21 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - rinnychan on January 30th, 2005 03:28 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(Deleted comment)
Buffalo in a China Shoprinnychan on January 30th, 2005 11:19 am (UTC)
Archer and Hakuro had something in common. They were both in the military, they were both of high rank, they were both somewhat evil, and they both enjoyed replacing their body parts. Hakuro enjoyed replacing his name, as well: the lower recruits had no idea what to call him from one day to the next.

Archer enjoyed calling him "cupcake." Usually at the top of his lungs.

HaruHakuro was greatly admired by Archer for his ear-regeneration. It would seem that the man had a great ability to replenish anything his body had to offer, and so, Frank took it upon himself to find out just what else the man could regenerate.

Since then, Archer and HakuHaruko spent every night together, whether it be in their quarters, a military office, or, sometimes, Kimbley's cell (those nights were the most interesting. Kimbley had, it would seem, recently discovered another way to "blow things up").

After the kenja no ishi incident and Archer's surgery, however, things had become a bit more complicated. It just wouldn't go in anymore.

Hakuruko had tried many times to convince Archer to remove the gun in his mouth. "We can't do that anymore, Frankie-poo! It doesn't work! I miss it!" But then, Archer had a splendid idea.

From then on, every night, Archer would put the safety on and make sweet, sweet love to Harukuro with his magical mouth of love.
(Deleted comment)
(no subject) - rinnychan on January 30th, 2005 11:35 am (UTC) (Expand)
Number One Spoon: shifty!herongale on January 30th, 2005 02:08 am (UTC)
Buffalo in a China Shoprinnychan on January 30th, 2005 11:27 am (UTC)

Scar's arms hurt. Wherever the hell they were, they hurt.

Scar ran with that woman through the city of Liore, trying to avoid the military and prepare to create the Philosopher's stone. Everything was set, but Scar couldn't put his plan into motion until the military withdrew from around the abandoned house he was hiding in.

And he and Lust were bored.

"You look like him."


"You look familiar." Lust looked at him with distant eyes. "I want to see if I can remember with my body, too."

"...it is against the Lord's Will."

"And lusting after a tin can isn't, I'm sure."

Scar narrowed his eyes. Admittedly, he had always wanted to experience sex before he died, but the Lord's Will dictated that such a thing was forbidden. He highly doubted that Ishbala would be so impressed with the feat as to forgive him. 'Look, Lord! No hands!'

Nevertheless, the blood loss was beginning to impair Scar's judgement. Lust crawled over like a snake, crawling atop his body. "You can't resist, anyhow. Just relax...take it as a farewell gift."
(no subject) - herongale on January 30th, 2005 01:24 pm (UTC) (Expand)
bloodyeden on January 30th, 2005 02:32 am (UTC)
Havoc x Black Hayate x Dolcetto. Please? *is shot*
Buffalo in a China Shoprinnychan on January 30th, 2005 11:41 am (UTC)
You just WANT to kill my brain, don't you??? Oh well...I've got no choice...so here goes... :\ I wonder what I shall come up with...

Everybody likes dogs. Havoc liked dogs. Especially in stew.

Everybody likes stew. Dorochette liked stew. Especially after a nap.

So, one day in AU-fluff-noncanon land, Havoc went over to Dorochette's house with a puppy named Black Hayate, named after a character in his favorite TV show. "Doro-chan! Let's make puppy stew!" But Dorochette did not stir, for he was sleeping.

Black Hayate was deeply insulted by this, and, jumping onto the bed, began to hump Dorochette's leg. Doro awoke, cursing. "OMGWTF!?!?"

The way the man looked just then, disheveled, sleepy and half-naked, was nearly irresistable to Havoc. 'This is my chance!!' he told himself. He plastered on his very best French accent. "Monsiour, we arrrrr tuu make dinnahhh now."

Dorochette raised his eyebrow. "Who the hell are you again?? I'm trying to sleep here!!"

"IIII ammu monsiourrr HAVOKU SHOOOI."


"...That I am." And so, Havoc climbed into Dorochette's bed, cludding Black Hayate close, and the two made the best milk-stew ever.
(no subject) - bloodyeden on January 30th, 2005 12:05 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - rinnychan on January 30th, 2005 12:09 pm (UTC) (Expand)
a fangirl: blame the internettreesock on January 30th, 2005 10:35 am (UTC)
Time to spin my bizarre "who can I stick Hughes with next" roulette...




Hughes x Hughes.

wait what... I think I broke it.

*pokes it*

Buffalo in a China Shoprinnychan on January 30th, 2005 11:44 am (UTC)

Everyone was required to have constant sex in the gate. It was the one rule to staying there. If you couldn't find a partner, the gnomes would do it for you. Fortunately for Hughes, he did find someone--someone who wouldn't make him cheat on his wife.

"So. How did you go?"

"My baby pictures all fell on me at once!!!"


(no subject) - treesock on January 30th, 2005 01:49 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - rinnychan on January 30th, 2005 02:35 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - treesock on January 30th, 2005 02:42 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Jevanajeva_chan on January 30th, 2005 01:15 pm (UTC)
Taking my shot at the crack request line...

Fuhrer and Roy...

>.> Hm...not good enough. Throw in some Sloth for good measure. XDD!
Jiah Pet: Just Add Water!: fmajiah on January 30th, 2005 03:54 pm (UTC)
Lets try and think up some crack...
Riza, Ed, and Gluttony.
wreak_havoc86 on January 30th, 2005 10:58 pm (UTC)
... Katherine Armstrong x Al please? *hopes it's cracky enough*
Buffalo in a China Shoprinnychan on January 31st, 2005 12:07 am (UTC)
I'll do this and the other two tomorrow... XD My creativity died for a short while. Expect it then!