Not quite sure what rating to give these. All I know is that clothing is involved, there's some Roy here, some Ed there, and someone dies in the second one. And maybe a little yaoi, but only a very little.
Please read with a sense of humor, no matter how twisted.
IN THE PRIVACY OF THEIR ROOMS
The Colonel's coat was large and heavy, and far too big for his shoulders, even with his right arm as it was. He tugged at it hesitantly, rearranging the material to drape over his shoulders, carefully folding up the cuffs until only so much of his gloves were visible, and gathered the excess cloth around his waist and tied it there so that it would flow and hang and yet not obstruct.
He knew that he was a dog of the military now, even if only in body and not in mind, but he had never expected to have to wear its clothes.
There was a shuffling sound behind him, and an exasperated sigh.
"I do hope that you're planning to grow taller soon, Fullmetal, or I am NOT going to go on with this."
Ed could only grin and beckon.
I leave it up to your imagination what they're planning to do.
IT WAS MURDER, BUT NOT A CRIME!
There was the body, and there was the knife, still dripping fresh blood on the wooden floorboards, still firmly attached to Edward Elric's automail. The boy turned slowly, and grinned madly as the soldiers rushed into the room.
There was only thing Ed would say as he was dragged kicking and screaming from the Colonel's body.
"He had it coming, okay? He had it COMING!"
Title of the second one taken from Chicago's "Cell Block Tango". What Roy had coming, we don't really know, but it most probably involves miniskirts in some way.