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05 December 2004 @ 08:39 pm
Episode 4 Transcription and Comparison Part 2  

--    --    --

MAJHAL
Karin? Yes, she used to live here. She used to grow roses for a living, and she was a very beautiful lady. It has been 20 years since... she succeeded in cultivating those hard-to-grow, blue roses, and the smile she had at the time was very nice... She tried to bring those blue roses to the city in a wagon...
But she fell off of a cliff along the way, and died...
karin? ee. tashikani sundeimashita yo. bara no saibai wo nariwaitoshiteita, sore ha utsukushi kata deshita. mou nijuunen mo tatta deshou ka... kanojo ha saibai ga totemo muzukashii aoi bara wo tsukuru koto ni seikou shite, sono toki no egao to ittara... shikashi, sono aoi bara wo machi ni shuukashu to, basha de hakondeita toki...
tochu no yama michi de, tenraku jiko ni ai, sono mama...
Karin? Ah yes, I remember her... She was a florist. And the exquisit beauty of her flowers was surpassed only by her own. I can't believe it's been twenty years now. She had recently succeeded in cultivating the extremely rare blue rose. Oh, the woman's smile at the time was simply... But then, on her way to deliver her, by then famous blue roses into town...
And so she fell to her death that day. She fell out of all our lives, forever.

['Her, by then, famous blue roses' - it's kind of a clunky line, not to mention there wasn't much need to synch it to anything.. ^^]

ED
But why would people say that Karin-san attacked the villagers?
demo, sono karin-san ga mura no hito wo osou te?
But they say this same Karin has been terrorizing the villagers.

MAJHAL
That's not possible. The dead do not come back to life. Also, even if she did come back to life, she would never attack the villagers.
sona koto ha arimasen. shisha ha yomigaetari shinai no desukara. soreni, tatoe yomigaeta to shitemo, ano hito ga murabito wo ousou nante koto ha ariemasen.
Absolutely impossible. We both know the dead don't simply come back to life. And even if they could, if you knew Karin at all you'd know it would be inconcievable for her to harm anyone in life or in death.

--

AL
What do you think, Brother?
dou omou niisan?
So, what do you think, Brother?

ED
It's true that the dead does not come back to life. But if someone did perform a human transmutation... Only Majhal-san is capable of such an act in this village.
Did you hear that?
tashikani shinda ningen ha yomigaeranai. demo moshi, dareka ga jintai rensei wo okonatta to suru nara... kono mura de sona koto ga dekiru ga Majhal-san dake da.
kikoeta ka! ima no.
Well I don't buy ghosts or zombies or the living dead. But supposing someone were to perform a human transmutation... The only one around here capable of such a thing would be Majhal, who...
What was that...? You hear that or am I going crazy?

AL
Hear what?
ah, nani?
Hear...what?
[And then it's funny in situations like this when you get a sentance that is translated the same both times without a directly implied meaning. ^^]

--

BOY 1
Are we really going to do that?
honto ni yaru no ka?
So, we're really gonna do this?

CLAUSE
Yeah, we're going to catch her by ourselves... That zombie called Karin, that is. What? Are you scared? Someone could be killed again if we don't do something!
aa. oretachi no te de tsukamaeteyarun da. karin to ka iu zombie wo na. nandayo, kowai no ka! kono mama ja matta dareka ga korosareru kamoshire nain da zo!
Yeah, we're gonna catch this Karin zombie on our own. Cause no one else is gonna do it for us. Are you wussing out on me? If this keeps up someone else is gonna get killed, and it could be you!

BOY 1
Well...
so-soriya...
Yeah, but what if she tries to...!

SHOPKEEPER
What are you doing, lady?
aa, mo nani yattenda yo baasan?
Come on, lady are you trying to give me an ulcer?

LEBI
I'm sorry...
sumimasen...
I'm so sorry... It was an accident
[Lebi starts sounding better from here out...]

SHOPKEEPER
You don't have to pay, so please just leave.
kane ha irane kara... [hard to hear the rest]
Just get out of here. You've been nursing that bowl of soup all day!

CLAUSE
Anyway, we're going to do it tonight. Got it.
tonikaku, konya kekou da. ii na?
So then we make our move tonight, you got that?

--

AL
Brother! Wait up!
aa! niisan! chotto matte yo!
Brother, wait for me!!
[Heh. Al has a cute high pitched squeal here...]

ED
What? Are you scared, Al?
nandayo Al, kowai no ka?
What's with you? ...Are you scared?

AL
Not quite... but zombies won't come out, right?
s-souiu wake ja nai kedo, masaka honto ni zombie nanka dettari shinai yo ne?
Of course not... There aren't really any zombies around are there?
[...But then he kind of lets his voice lower here and his lines doesn't transition as well. It doesn't sound like he's defending his outburst like before.]

ED
Dont' be stupid. If the rumors are true, it can only be done via human transmutation. We should confirm it.
baka itero. moshi uwasa ga honto nara jintai rensei igai ni arienai. tashikamete miru kachi ha aru.
Don't be thick, Al. If Karin is roaming these woods it would only be thanks to Human Alchemy. Which is the only reason we're here...Daah!!
[Ed's little shout here is also cute.]

BOY 3
We did it!
yatta!
It worked!

BOY 4
We caught her!
tsukamaeta zo!
We got her!

ED
I can't breathe, Al...
ku-kurushii...Al...
Damn... my back... again...

CLAUSE
You two...
fu...omaera na...
False alarm!

BOY 4
Look...!
a-are!
Over there!

CLAUSE
So you're the one... who killed my sister...!
omae ga...neesan wo...!
You took my sister from me...!

ED
Klose!
That sound...
Clause!
ano oto ga...!
Wait, Clause!
...That sound again.

LUST
Alchemist Majhal... he is only second-rate after all.
renkinjutsushi majhal...shosen niryuu ka?
Majhal's just a two-bit alchemist after all. How...disappointing.

--

MAN 1
Very nice, Majhal-sama.
sasuga majhal-sama da!
To Majhal! A real hero!

MAN 2
Yes! I knew that you would get rid of the zombie!
aa! majhal-sama nara kitto zombie wo taiji shitekureru to omoi mashita yo!
Yeah, Majhal. If it weren't for you, this town'd be overun by zombies. I knew you'd put her in her place!

--

AL
What is it, Brother?
doushitano niisan?
What are you doing, Ed?
[Our first "Ed" in a while. But it still leaves the possibility of "Ed"s becoming more frequent as they get older.]

ED
That was not a zombie, nor a result of human transmutation. It made the same noise I heard before.
are ha zombie demo nakereba, jintai rensei demo nai. onaji datta, ano toki kitta oto da.
I was right about her not being a zombie, but she wasn't a transmute either. That sound she made, it's the same one I heard in here.
["Transmute." Just worth noting the vocab here. ^^]

LEBI
Majhal-sama will get mad at you if you walk around in his mansion without asking.
majhal-sama ni okoraremasu yo. katte ni yashiki no naka wo urotsukaretera
Majhal will be very cross if he finds you. He doesn't like it when people snoop around his home.

ED
Yeah? And what about you?
ee? anta ha dounandayo?
Yeah? And what do you call what you're doing?

AL
Brother?
niisan?
Brother!

ED
What's this...?
ko...kore ha!
Wha-what's all this...?

AL
Brother!
niisan!?
Brother!!

--

AL
Brother, are you okay?
niisan, daijoubu?
Hey, are you alright?

MAJHAL
You've woken up... but you two have seen something that you should have not seen.
ki ga tsukimashita ka? daga kimi tachi ha mitta ha naranai mono wo mitte shimata you da.
At last, he awakens. It appears you've stumbled across something that you really shouldn't have seen, Edward.
[Not necessarily bad, but interesting sounding, the way he puts Edward and Al's names into the dub during this conversation... It gives the dialogue more feeling of familiarity.]

ED
Yeah, we sure did... We saw the truth of the zombie, all right. What you did was...!
aa, mitta ze. zombie no shoutai wo na! anta ga shita koto wa...!
Oh you mean... the so called zombies? Yeah, I saw your toys.
[This episode has been full of lines being slightly broken up to match the lip movements, but most of them are hardly noticeable. This one is ever so slightly more.]

MAJHAL
Yes, the fixation of the soul. I was going to fix the soul of a villager woman to a doll that looks exactly like Karin. Then, it should've become similar to Karin.
sou. tamashi no teichaku desu yo. karin no sugata wo kampeki ni utsusushita ningyo ni mura no musume no tamashi wo teichaku saseru. sousureba ikita karin no chikazuku hazu datta.
Toys? They're canvases for spirit attachments. Mannaquins I've carved into exact replicas of my beloved Karin, onto which I bind the soul of any village girl I can snare. In doing so, I've formed living versions of my fallen love.

ED
But you failed.
daga anta ha shippai shita!
It's shocking that plan ever went awry.

MAJHAL
Souls do not fix themselves to another container that easily. Even if a soul does, it does not function correctly. Among the subjects, some wandered around the village by themselves.
tamashi to iu mono ha naka naka chigau utsuwa ni teichaku shinai. teichaku shita to omotemo, seijou ni ha ki no sezu, naka ni ha katte ni nukedashi, mura ni samoyotari suru mo no.
It is true that souls tend to reject foreign vessels that are unlike them in nature. They ususally malfunction. That's why Al is so special. Some of my dolls escaped, wandering free about the village, fueling superstitions.

ED
Do you know what you're doing?! For what reason are you...?
anta jibun no shitakoto ga wakatteno ka! itai nanno tameni!
You crazy selfish nutcase! Do you even know what you've done!? Why the hell did you do it!?

MAJHAL
Karin was the only woman I loved. The wound in my heart caused by Karin's death would not heal, even after many years. That was when I made the decision... To use alchemy to revive Karin. But human transmutation was impossilbe to me. So, I wanted to create something similar to Karin. That is what I thought...
karin ha watashi no aishita yuitsu no onna da. karin ga shinde kara, nannen tatemo watashi no kizu ha ienakatta. watashi ha keshin shita. renkinjutsu wo motte karin wo yomigaeraseyouto. daga jintai rensei ha watashi ni ha fukanou datta. naraba, semete karin ni chikai mono wo tsukiritai. sou omotanda.
For the same reason that any man has ever done anything that is visionary. Karin was the only woman I ever loved. Even years after her death, my scars refused to heal. I committed myself to bringing her back, using the only talent I had at my disposal - alchemy. When my attempts at human transmutation failed, the least I could do was create something that resembled her beauty. I did it for love.

[All complaints with the "...anything that is visionary" line aside (I think it sounds clunky and over-extended, but the original would have been repetative since they already had him say in lines earlier that he loved her) the whole "attempts at human transmutation failed" is a confusing and possibly damaging change. Not to say that you couldn't infer that he started to try but then stopped, but I've already seen in a spot or two that people have been misinterpretting it as if he actually -did- do it and failed. 
*spoilers for episode 31 (highlight)* Because it's absolutely not possible that he did. There's no homonculus, no sin, no nothing. You could say it's not really damaging, because everyone will understand eventually, but it's probably not a good idea to make important plot points fuzzy like that.*]

ED
You're sick...!
byouki da ze, anta.
So you chose body over soul...

MAJHAL
No! I just love Karin. You're going to help me fix a soul for my love.
chigau! watashi ha karin wo aishiteru dake da! kimi ni mo tetsudatte morau yo. watashi no ai no tameni, tamashi no teichaku wo ne.
Shut up! You're a child, what could you possibly know of love? But you do know something of alchemy. And now you're going to help me with an attachment like you did for your brother.

ED
No way.
yada ne.
Yeah right.

MAJHAL
I see. You are as subborn as your father Hohenheim.
naruhodo. danko no tokoro ni ha sokkuri da, hohenheim ni.
It figures. You're just as stubborn, if not moreso, than your father was.

CLAUSE
Um, I... came to say thank you...
a-ano watashi...ore wo iu to omote...
I just...wanted to thank you for earlier...

MAJHAL
Foolish girl.
baka na musume da.
You foolish girl.

ED
Stop!
yamero!
Run, Clause!

LEBI
Please don't, Majhal-sama... Please do not do this anymore...!
oyamekudasai majhal-sama! mou koreijou!
It's gone too far! I can't turn a blind eye any longer!

MAJHAL
Silence! This has nothing to do with you!
urusai! omae ni ha kankei nai!
Then you should try turning the other cheek, wench!

ED
Hey, do something, quick!
oi! hayaku nantoka shiro!
Do something, Al!
[I kinda like how he sounds a little less demanding in the dub.]

AL
Almost done...!
mou chotto...!
Just a little more!

ED
A blue rose?
aoi...bara?
A rare blue rose...

--

MAJHAL
I will use this girl's soul, so please smile upon me... Karin!
konna onna no tamashi wo ette, kondo konso watashi ni hohoemi kaketekure, Karin!
Little soul, accept your new vessel. Wherever you are, Karin, bless us. Let her become just like you.

CLAUSE
No! Stop!
iyaa! yamete!
No!! Let me go!!

ED
Stop, Majhal! You don't understand anything. What you sought was right next to you.
yamero, Majhal! Anta ha nani mo wakacha inai. motomeitta mono ha sugu katamara ni attanda!
Let her go, Majhal! Nothing you think you know is the truth. And what you've been seeking all along is under your nose.

MAJHAL
What are you talking about?
nani wo iteiru?
What is this nonsense?

ED
Karin-san didn't die! After that accident, she lost her memory and was living somewhere else! And after 20 years, she regained her memory and came to see you right away!  But you didn't notice her!
shindenakattanda yo, Karin-san ha! ano jiko no ato, kioku wo nakushite, zutto hoka no basho de kurashite itanda! soshite nijuunen go, kioku wo torimodoshita Karin san ha masaki anata no moto he ai ni kita. daga anta ha kizuku koto ga dekinakatanda!
I'm trying to tell you that Karin never died! The day of the accident she hit her head, lost her memory and started a new life somewhere. Twenty years later, her memory returned in a flash. And in a true gesture of love, she came straight back to you. But you were too blinded by obsession to see it was her.

KARIN
Majhal...
Yes, Majhal...

MAJHAL
This can't be... That woman is Karin? Karin was more beautiful than anyone. Like a rose...
Bakana... sonno onna ga karin datto iu no ka... Karin ha dare yori mo utsukushii onna datta! bara no you ni...
It can't! Are you telling me this wrinkled old woman is Karin? Karin was a woman of incomparable beauty and perfection, just like a rose...

ED
Look at the reality! Flowers wither away. But Karin-san's feelings for you have not!
Genjitsu wo mirunda. Hana ha kareru, daga, karin-san no anta he no kimochi ha kawachainai.
Exactly like a rose. Flowers wither, Majhal. But despite what you've become, Karin's feelings for you have not.

MAJHAL
Shut up... If you say any more... I'll kill you!
damare... soreijou iu nara... korosu!!
Silence child... Say one more word... and you're dead!!

[There is less screaming here on Ed's part till before he transmutes the rose.]

KARIN
Majhal! Majhal!
Majhal! Majhal...!

MAJHAL
No, you are not Karin... There is no way you can be Karin...
chi-chigau...omae ha...karin de ha...nai... Karin de...aru hazu ga nai...
I... don't see it... There's... just no way you could possibly my Karin... Oh... Karin... I'm coming for you...

--

ED
Why do you look so depressed, Al?
nani fusagi konderu da yo, Al?
Good to see you're depressed and back to normal.
[And here the line from the beginning is back to tease us. Though it's just Ed teasing, I find it sort of a misleading character detail. Anyway, there was a discussion on fullmetal-alchemist.com wherein someone goes into a bit more detail about what they don't like about this line...]

AL
I was thinking that alchemy can delude a person.
renkinjutsu te, hito wo madowasu koto arun da na tte..
Huh? I'm sorry. I was just thinking how alchemy has the power to delude people too.

ED
Yeah, you're right.
aa. sou da na...
Yeah, guess it does...

CLAUSE
Hey! Sorry about everything. You two were really excellent alchemists after all.
ne! iroiro to gomennasai. anata-tachi, honto ha sugoi renkinjutsushi dattanda ne.
Hey! I'm sorry about everything... I did and said. You guys really are terrific alchemists.

ED
Actually, who are you?
te iu ka... anta, dare?
Uh, yeah we are, but who are you?

AL
Are you, Klose?
masaka, Clause?
Call me crazy, Ed. But I think that's Clause.

CLAUSE
un...
Umhm.

ED/AL
What?!
Ehhhh?
Aaah!!

CLAUSE
What's with the reaction?!
nandayo 'ehh' tte!
Will you boys grow up!?

ED
You look better that way! Later!
omae, sochi no ofuku zenzen niau ze! abayo!
You're definately much prettier when you don't dress like a paperboy!!
[No line over the spot where he says 'later!' either. But it's a shot from behind so you can't tell he's not speaking.]

--


Ending - Kesenai Tsumi

Fullmetal Alchemist
Episode Five
Dash! Auto-Mail

Hagane no Renkinjutsushi
dai go wa
Shissou! Automail

Fullmetal Alchemist
Episode Five
The Man with the Mechanical Arm
[It was listed on Adult Swim's site (still is) as Mechanical Arm]

"So you wanted power as well." A man with a machine arm said that to me.
omae mo chikara ga hoshikattanda na. kikai jikake no ude wo motsu otoko ha, ore ni itta.
Rather than give him power, his arm seems to have power over him. He says we're one in the same... are we?
[Probably the first time they radically change an episode preview. I assume they didn't have Bard's line solidified (even though he doesn't say that exact line either) or they might just have plans to change the scene entirely. I don't find it as effective, but... - From Ep5 - They didn't change the speech drastically. So I guess it was just a style choice. My original opinion still holds though, I find the simplicity of the Japanese line more effective emotionally.]

--

Favorite Line Change: Clause's "Show'em how we... welcome strangers."
I don't particularly have a real favorite line here. There's handful of changes I think are alright. But this line is pretty cute in the dub. Not that it's all that different from the original though. ^^;

Least Favorite Line Change: Boy's "What is this ugly thing. Some kind of a giant robot from the future?"
I think I probably said enough about it up there. ^^ Otherwise, there are a handful of other changes I'm not too happy with, but nothing major.

Line I Wish They Didn't Change:
Ed's "You're sick...!"
It might be the straightforwardness with which he says it in Japanese (It's also very literal, which I find cute) but I like it, and I think it says something about Ed for him to use that. "So you chose body over soul..." is maybe a little too philosophical. And if he's referring to himself and Al on the soul part...eh, it sounds kinda wrong.

--

# of Brother's - 8
# of Ed's - 2

# of Niisan's - 14

Total Niisan Count; Episodes 1-4
4 = 14
3 = 21 (+4 niichans)
2 = 06
1 = 07
=========
48 niisans + 4 niichans = 52 times Alphonse calls Edward "Brother"

Episode 5 should go quicker and then we can get back to nice drama cd updates!
 
 
Oneiroelpida: Al's Smileoneiroelpida on December 5th, 2004 06:16 pm (UTC)
I just wanted to say thank you for doing this. I'm sure it's a lot of work, but it's very interesting to see the end result. I hope you're saving all these for a website or something. ;)
Shinhoshishinhoshi on December 6th, 2004 11:33 am (UTC)
Thank you. It's always nice to know people are enjoying them. ^^

I don't have a website myself, but I have multiple versions of these saved on my harddrive.

If someone wanted to host them now or in the future, I certainly wouldn't mind though.
angsty lemon ukewabisuke on December 6th, 2004 02:03 pm (UTC)
I'd be happy to host them. IM/e-mail me. =)

IM: kuno no bokken
e-mail (that works): sv_chan AT yahoo DOT com
Shinhoshishinhoshi on December 7th, 2004 12:37 pm (UTC)
Thank you. I've sent out an e-mail. (My preferred way of contact ^^)
anax imperatoranax on December 5th, 2004 06:20 pm (UTC)
Just get out of here. You've been [also hard to make out] that bowl of soup all day!

She was nursing that bowl of soup all day. :)

BTW, these are very cool, and I know they must be a lot of work. Thanks for doing it!
Shinhoshishinhoshi on December 6th, 2004 11:35 am (UTC)
Changed!

And thanks for the nice comments. I'm glad to know you're reading them, even without the cabbage lines. ^^

(Congrats on Lightning by the way. I really enjoyed it.)
miscellany: Prismcelira on December 7th, 2004 05:26 am (UTC)
Shinhoshi, it's always nice to see any of your translation works, including for the drama CDs- thanks! ^^
Shinhoshishinhoshi on December 7th, 2004 12:43 pm (UTC)
Thank you! Comments like these really do brighten my day.

And I'll try to keep up with all the translation fun as long as I can manage. (Tries desperately not to get sucked into translating doujinshi as well... ^^;)
miscellanycelira on December 7th, 2004 02:08 pm (UTC)
Oh, my friend and I tried to take a stab at translating doujinshi for fun...since I'm Chinese with a limited knowledge of kanji and she's non-Asian with a limited knowledge of hiragana/katakana, that ended up amusingly. XD
Shinhoshishinhoshi on December 7th, 2004 03:09 pm (UTC)
Heh! Kind of reminds me of using some online programs to sort through that chinese doujinshi page and being aggravated over words until I found out the Chinese for "Ed" and "Al" ^_^

But that's great. I myself am just a self-taught American girl, so even I stumble over a whole lot of kanji. That really does make the doujinshi tough! ^^; (Or when they don't use enough kanji at all, and you struggle trying to figure out what they're saying!)