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01 February 2004 @ 07:26 am
newbie fan fic...  

Though it would be time for me to post my fan fic. first one ever. and please don't shoot me. *gets shot*
its not that good. wrote it in 45 min while waiting for the buss ^_~

Title: "In the rain"
Pairing: none, slight Ed/Roy implied
Rating: PG
Status: Complete
Tagline: sometime its hard to be a kid on the outside...

"In the Rain"

Ed sat at the window ledge, staring out the window. Out the window and into the rain. The rain was tapping gently on the window, ongoing and steadily. He couldn’t seem to understand. In such a short time so much had changed.
There was a soft knock at the door. Ed continued to look out the window. The knock came again, a little louder this time. Edward sighed.
“Yes?” He said in an irritated voice toward the shut door. To his surprise it wasn’t the well familiar voice of Al coming to interrupt his thoughts. The voice lead sweet and soft, almost bringing some strange comfort into his heart, as it asked;
“May I come in?” Ed stared at the door. He knew the voice.
“Yes” he said so silently that he wondered if she had even heard it. Obviously she had, because the door opened. Ed turned away again, not wanting to meet her eyes.
“Edward-kun…” she began, looking at him. Searching in his eyes for answerers she knew wouldn’t be there.
“…I know it is hard for you, but you must understand. No one is blaming you”. There was a small, almost unnoticeable sigh from Ed.
“Damn it. I can’t even look at you”. His voice was thin and flat, not like the voice of Edward Elric at all.
“What about…” his voice faded. He fought himself; one part of him didn’t want to know the answer. He had to ask. He looked down on his feet.
“What will happen to Taisa?” he asked at last, with a voice threatening to fail. “Haganre. I don’t know, but it will be okay. You don’t have to worry. Things will be okay.” She tried smiling at him.
“Okay?!” he almost spit the words out. “How can things be okay? Things are never okay. Everybody has been saying that things will be okay for five years. Empty promises, filled with false hope. I don’t want to be delusion to believe in such”.
“Edward-kun” she said with a shaking voice. She knew that what the boy said was true. She couldn’t herself stand there anymore giving false hope to him. Even if it was for comfort.
He was older than you would think by his age (and height). There was nothing more to expect. After having lost their mom, and being responsible for nearly losing Al, he had been forced to grow up, to take responsibility. For that was his duty as Oniisan. So he felt.
Edward turned, and finally met her eyes.
“I know you mean good, but this is something I can’t escape by believing things will work out. I’m sorry” and with that he got up, saluted Lt. Hawkeye and left the room. He walked silently down the hall. He came to the entrance, and he paused before pushing the heavy doors open and stepping out into the rain. The sound of the rain hitting his auto-mail made a rhythmic noise. The rain felt cold and refreshing as it began to soak him, soon dripping from his hair and his clothes. It was like it was washing away the shame and the guilt. No more secrecy and no more hidden guilt. It was over, for better or for worse. They’ve found out. And it was over.

Current Mood: sleepysleepy
Aretearete on January 31st, 2004 11:37 pm (UTC)
I'm not sure how to read this... did they--Roy and Ed--have a relationship starting when Ed was much younger, like 15 or 16, and Ed's now 17/18/19? Then again, does it really matter? You put into words how my Ed-muse feels. My Ed-muse keeps throwing things dealing with the fact that he *is* the head of the family, and has been the male role model of Al for most of their lives. He had time to be a kid, yes, quite happily at that. But it ended in pain, and then more pain came... and he blames *himself*. Fully. Wholly. Totally.

He is an adult. Maybe that's why, even though the character is younger than I am, I see myself in him--the idea that the while the body is still not an adult's, the mind, soul and heart have long been so. Maybe that's why I wonder no one has stopped him, asking why are you doing this so young? They're in awe, but I've seen no one really stopping to ask the adults around him, why are you *letting* him--and in Taisa's case, *encouraging* him to go forward with acting like an adult.

It struck me as funny the first couple times, to hear that little boy's voice coming from that suit of armor, but now I see the wrongness in it. Ed's only a year older than his brother, and neither should yet be doing what they're doing. Yet they are doing it, and doing it so well, that everybody ignores it. Yet they aren't children, not anymore.

I guess the above doesn't really deal with the story, but damn, your Ed-muse seems to completely match mine.
Saya Aenslandsaya_aensland on February 1st, 2004 03:58 am (UTC)
For such a short piece, this thing has a lot of emotion behind it. Very pretty, in an angsty way.

BTW, it's Hagane, not Haganre. And only Roy calls Ed Hagane (well, Hagane no/Haganeno), anyway.
Maria'san: Ready by Mii-chanmii_chan on February 1st, 2004 12:31 pm (UTC)
thanks for commenting... *glee* I'm not really sure about the age,.. didn't really think about that >< and saya, you completely right *wondering how I could overlook that* well..as I said, first fan fic ever, so... ^_^ and considering that it was written at 8 am a monday morning before school.. yeah...XDXD