Yeah, I know. WTF is wrong with me.
I never think about it. I don't really mind it so much (as long as Al is OUT of that armor. Ewwww!), but I don't think about it unless I'm judging a certain fanart or fic (and man am I critical of those).
So why did I dream it? You know I've noticed that when I do have anime dreams, it often includes characters or pairings I wouldn't generally support, or that are definitely not a favorite. Like I had a Subaru/Kamui dream once. I was disturbed when I woke up.
Anyway. I was Ed. And...well. Al was totally owning my ass. Non-armor Al by the way. We were like in our late teens or something. We didn't have sex though! Nope. My dreams suck. But I guess you could say he sprung this on me, and I was all "Whoa, Al." He was super sensual. And how could I resist I guess. o_O;
But he was right about to give me a blowjob when some bad guy burst into our room (I swear I'm thinking 'The Joker'. Go the fuck away Batman, I was about to get pr0n, I don't care what kind). And he said if I continued receiving, uh...erotic stimulation of any kind 'down there', then all our guests in the living room (We had guests? Why were we about to boink? And what does my penis have to do with their brains?) would lose their memories. Then he left.
We were all "...Uh..." so Al went to check on everyone. And I was like "Well screw that!" and proceeded to reach down my sweatpants (Why was I wearing those...when we had GUESTS over? Why was I wearing those period?) and wank myself off. I couldn't even finish THAT. Al threw the door open and I quickly yanked my hand out and shoved both my hands on my lap with my legs close together, caught red-handed.
He was talking about how everyone was asking who they were and that they were freaking out, and it was my fault. How COULD I? Was my sexual pleasure more important than people's lives? I started to argue with him, but then he started to own my ass in a NON-happy way. He pinned me down and asked if that was what I wanted so bad, he'd give it to me.
He nearly raped me, but someone wandered in all "Where is this...?" so he stopped. He looked reeally ashamed. I was pretty much thinking "Little brother owns me...and I'm never going to get an erection again. I wanna die. T_T"
I don't remember much after that, so fast forward. Somehow this 'epidemic' spread across our whole CITY, and threatened to take over the world. It was snowing, randomly. So I guess loading everyone on some trains and heading to another city would fix this? And NOT spread it? Uhhh...yeah. I somehow 'passed out' in the snow right outside the train. But I wasn't passed out. I was totally aware of what was going on. And like some people were saying Al and I would NEVER have done 'it'. And then I guess some random person said they'd taken pictures, and showed them.
So apparently everybody is interested in our sex lives in this world. WTF is up with that. We should have moved to another country.
Then Al was all "OMG he's still outside!" and carried me in. Then somehow, some other dude wanted me. Maybe it was The Joker, hahah. Aaaanyway. Poor Al felt all inferior 'cause this guy was like "I have lots of money and security!" (Hi Moulin Rouge). I woke up by the end of the train ride. And the guy held out a key to a nice room at a niiiice hotel and told me to think it over.
I felt all hung over for some reason, so I had Al assist me to get there, then I made him come in. There were like a couple guys already in there setting up our dinner, and I told them to get out because I'd just nearly destroyed the world and saved it in one day, and I wanted to eat in peace. And then have sex.
Yeah, I actually said that, and I was looking at Al as I said it, like I had somehow been sly and cute. Well it worked, because he blushed while the men scrambled out.
AND THEN THE ENDING CREDITS ROLLED!
...No I'm serious. There were ending credits.
I didn't even get to see the sex. I woke up then too and was thinking "NO! REWIND, REWIND! Fix, fix!"
I may not be the biggest Elricest fan, but I'm not morally opposed to it. Especially if it means I get some in dream land, because when I do, it's rarely that vivid. And Late Teen! Ed and Al were hot/cute in my dream, so really, I would have won. ...If somebody would have just LET us boink!
CURSE YOU, BATMAN!
Anyway. Don't hold me responsible for my dreams. Unfortunately, I can't control them.
I was considering joining the Elricest comm just to stick this in here, but no that'd be lame. It's already been slapped on my journal.