Rating: Eh. G.
Spoilers: In 'Guilt' only: up to episode 25.
Havoc insisted on overseeing the murder scene in Mustang’s place. He knows full well Mustang is not ready to see this; Mustang is not ready to even think about this. But as he watches the personnel moving around the place of death, he reflects that perhaps he himself is not ready to see this, either: nor to come to terms with it.
Everything is collected: a careful tally of all things found at the scene is kept. He watches them pick up the single dropped photograph on the ground with plastic gloves, and a twist of pain touches his heart.
The dreams were worst after the Ishbal conflict.
By the time Havoc was deployed to Ishbal, it was merely as an escort for the State Alchemists. He didn’t see as much action as he might have. But what he did see was enough to make him start awake in the middle of the night for many months thereafter, sheets tangled around his waist and skin glistening with perspiration.
In Ishbal there had been a strong kill-or-be-killed mentality; so strong that he barely thought twice about putting bullets in suicide-bomber children.
His second thoughts only emerged later, in dreams of blood.
Jean knew it was a mistake to ask after Therese’s love life so soon after just getting home. Niisan, there’s a boy I don’t like who just won’t leave me alone--
Jean has barely been listening five minutes when there is a knock on the door. He frowns at the look of horror on Therese’s face, and goes to open the door.
Jean’s tall frame looms in the low doorway, a frown firmly in place and uniform still on. Thirty seconds later, the boy has gotten the point.
No one Jean doesn’t approve of hits on his little sister.
He would like to think he has never been jealous of Michel.
“There’s a medical alchemist of some acclaim in Central: Michel Havoc. I should like to meet him, sometime.” Mustang’s gaze slants to Jean. Unspoken in his eyes is this: perhaps you could introduce us, Second Lieutenant.
Havoc makes no reply. He does not meet the loaded gaze of Mustang: that gaze that questions the similarity of last name. If he responds, he falls into the Colonel’s snare. If he responds, he verifies the Colonel’s suspicions.
If he responds, he admits his jealousy through the aversion of his eyes.
This will be the last furlough he is permitted for a long time. It’s only a few days long; they are leaving for Ishbal soon.
Adèle Havoc touches the face of her son, worry etching deep lines in her face. “My Jean. It’s your nineteenth birthday soon, isn’t it? I wish you weren’t receiving a gun and a license to kill for it.”
He closes his eyes and permits his mother to brush strands of hair from his face. It is the first time he has felt guilt concerning his choice to enlist: but it will not be the last.