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24 November 2005 @ 08:13 am
The English Alchemist (Part IV)  
Happy Thanksgiving, everybody! My day has been tragically turkeyless (Thanksgiving Day is technically over already, here in Kawagoe), but I have so much to be thankful for anyway...the fact that I passed my kanji quiz the other day, for one...that I have brought you something extra to be thankful for in celebration of this gastronomically satisfying holiday. XD Whoever wrote this next chapter seems to be very thankful for Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye, anyway...

(Once again, here is a SPOILER WARNING! This book draws on the ENTIRE SERIES for its examples, which means it is chockablock with spoilers. You have been warned.)

And so, without further ado, I bring you, scanned and translated where necessary...the fourth installment of The English Alchemist!


Riza's Lesson: Attitude, Discipline, and Femininity

Cover Page
Page 1
Page 2
Quiz Time!
Page 3
Page 4


Coming next time...Winry's lesson! ^_^


The English Alchemist (Part I)
The English Alchemist (Part II)
The English Alchemist (Part III)
Current Mood: hungryhungry
Current Music: Recollection - FMA sdtk
Adziu: Azumaadziu on November 24th, 2005 04:37 pm (UTC)
Ooh, she has a nice coat!

I'm not sure I'd want my heart brought down by a pistol, even Riza's.

And I definitely don't want to think about how Roy is a tree's trunk.

I don't know the answer to question 2.
Titaniajinxia on November 24th, 2005 04:39 pm (UTC)
"We wonder if she really loves him"


"If Roy is a tree trunk Riza is its branches"
"Riza shows her weak side only to Roy"
"Her smile is Roy's"

Geez, all we need to know is the tell-tale sign of a wedding ring. *squee*

Oh wait... "In the end, her pistol was finally able to bring down Roy's heart." I WANT MY WEDDING NOW! SCREW THE MOVIE!

And ZOMG there is a RoyxHavoc hints! I'm lovin' this book to death now XD Thank you for scanlating it!
Emi: Insubordination! [royxhawkeye]meowkittykat986 on November 24th, 2005 05:05 pm (UTC)
AAAA *dies from all the canon fluff* I am like, so happy right now...

Major Armstrong thinks his muscles are ______

Roy whispered to Riza that she was ______


Rappydappydappy McTappy: Dance on Cloud!raptorix on November 24th, 2005 07:21 pm (UTC)
I dunno... I liked "B. SCARY"
a fangirltreesock on November 24th, 2005 05:11 pm (UTC)
incroyable: ed-gunaetter on November 24th, 2005 05:14 pm (UTC)
No fair! #2 and #3 are trick questions!


whisperitlikeit’sasecret。dusk on November 24th, 2005 05:16 pm (UTC)
Awww, Roy/Riza is so canon.

As for Question # 2, I'd like to pick option C... but it appears Roy belongs to Riza :(
C-chanbox_of_doom on November 24th, 2005 05:19 pm (UTC)

I choose C for all three.

You see... the whole millitary office secretly beocmes a brothel at night...

*is shot*
Titaniajinxia on November 24th, 2005 06:34 pm (UTC)
And who knows that Maes is secretly taping the whole conduct. I mean, the man already has 20 reels of records from under Mustang's desk!
A Guy Named Goo: Roy Paperworkaguynamedgoo on November 24th, 2005 05:54 pm (UTC)
Riza can reveal her femininity by only taking off her jacket.

Say it with me now, boys: BOOBIES!

And fanboy moment over. Mmmmm crack.
Vahn Malicevahnm on November 24th, 2005 06:15 pm (UTC)
"3. Which phrase best describes Roy and Havoc?
A. They are boss and subordinate.
B. They are rivals in love.
C. They are more intimate than friends but still not quite lovers."

We all know C is the truth. xD
Rappydappydappy McTappy: EYEPATCH'D!raptorix on November 24th, 2005 07:23 pm (UTC)
"In the end, her pistol was able to bring down Roy's heart."

And his eye...
fmfangirlfmfangirl on November 30th, 2005 08:49 am (UTC)
did she shoot him...eeee! are you TOTALLY sure?!
Rappydappydappy McTappy: EYEPATCH'D!raptorix on December 8th, 2005 11:39 pm (UTC)
That's my only explination as to how he lost that eye... he still had it when he crawled out of the building. He was lined up directly behind (or in front of, from Archer's view) of Archer, and Riza's bullet must've gone through Archer and took out Mustang's eye.

But that's totally my interpertation. Bones wasn't making complete sense half the time at the end anyhow.
Arijan (pronounced "AH-ree-yawn")tobu_ishi on December 9th, 2005 05:34 am (UTC)
I still think Archer shot him. He was walking fine till Archer got there, and suddenly he's sprawled and bleeding all over the place in a massive puddle--wasn't he already down when she got there?
Rappydappydappy McTappy: Anti-Mary Sueraptorix on December 9th, 2005 06:06 pm (UTC)
Bah, I don't remember anymore... I'l just have to watch that episode again or something.
fmfangirlfmfangirl on December 9th, 2005 06:08 am (UTC)
stupid BONES!
➥《Nocturnal Flying Mammal》✈kawree on November 24th, 2005 08:38 pm (UTC)
"Her smile is Roy's, so male fans should give her up now."


and yeah, question 2 is a toss-up. >.> XD
avroillusionavroillusion on November 24th, 2005 09:38 pm (UTC)
Ah. So much Royai. Teehee! This book is overflowing with love for the cool that is Riza. However, the "In the end, her pistol was able to bring down Roy's heart." line made it sound like she shot him. o_O


The quiz is crackish and I love it so.
eurogabbyeurogabby on November 25th, 2005 02:20 am (UTC)
O-O I want this book...
My lord, where can I find this! It's awesome! Or did you create this on your own? In truth, this is the first time I checked this out, I thought it was a fan teaching said character English. Just shows what I know. Anyways! can't wait for the Winry one! So hurry up!
Arijan (pronounced "AH-ree-yawn")tobu_ishi on November 25th, 2005 05:53 am (UTC)
Re: O-O I want this book...
Nope, didn't create it myself. This is official FMA merchandise, which is probably the most fun thing about it. XD The fact that the folks over at Bones actually licensed an English textbook to be made from their series...and that whoever wrote it paid as much attention to the series as they did...and made it this crazy (and sometimes witty, and sometimes utterly Engrish)... It blows the mind, doesn't it?
Rex :)rex_bandit on November 25th, 2005 04:03 am (UTC)
*is bathing in royai fluffy LOOOOOOOOOVE!* ^____^ squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

i totally agree with jinxia, give us the wedding NOW! :D
[★i slipped on my slippers]: Royaiceasefire on November 25th, 2005 04:35 am (UTC)
I still say they were secretly married throughout the movie. XD

Love for the Havoc/Roy hint... BOUNDLESS love for all the Royai hints. ♥
Let's Mosey: Movie!Royteambenevolence on November 25th, 2005 03:22 pm (UTC)
hahaha fantastic stuff as usual.

These guys really like their shippings don't they? RoyEd, Royai, RoyHavoc.... Roy's the biggest slut in the military XD
[★i slipped on my slippers]: Rainceasefire on November 26th, 2005 05:04 am (UTC)
... OK, answer to 3rd question has to be C. Why? It pertains to Armstrong too. XD Armstrong would not think his muscles were 'cool', and certainly not 'scary'.
lux: Full Metal Alchemist - Roy (amei)luxetumbra on November 28th, 2005 09:24 pm (UTC)
Any chance you could zip these images up and stick them on Megaupload or Yousendit? I'm getting Bandwith Exceeded gifs for all of the linked images in all four parts. Thanks.
Akiya: beautifulkyuri on November 28th, 2005 10:12 pm (UTC)
Bandwidth exceeded LOL. I'll wait patiently for them X3 Thank you so much for scanning this. So much wonderful canon crack.

In the meantime, I'll entertain myself with everyone's comments XDD;;
fmfangirlfmfangirl on November 30th, 2005 05:35 am (UTC)

"in the end, Rizas pistols brought down Roys heart..."

*sniff* thast so beautiful...tissue?